Ok I have a question for everyone.

What do you say to your boss as in owner of the company that tells you to flirt with the customers to sell more ?

Remember this is mostly male clientle. Also mostly phone,fax,web,internet based. So there is no personal one on one interaction.

Some of these customers I have talked to everyday on the phone for 12yrs never met them in person or not have seen pics of most. We have discussed wifes,babies,grandkids etc.

Is this considered flirting or being friendly & building a professional relationship ?

Just curious since I spend a good portion of my day on the phone selling product.

I need to keep in mind MB's rule of thumb :

DO NOT SAY ANYTHING TO A MALE THAT YOU WOULD NOT SAY TO A FEMALE

Just thinking back over the years & wondering if I treaded that line with a customer not meaning too.

Come on now ! I realise holiday weekend has already started for some , me included

But someone has to have a opinion on this ?

Go to h*ll.

Seriously, he's asking you to flirt?

Maybe you should file sexual harassment charges.

Do you work in a strip club?

What an odd notion. Flirting is very unprofessional and ineffective. I have been an award winning sales person for 2 Fortune 500 companies since 1989 and have never flirted with my mostly ALL MALE clients. I am a successful sales person because I find out his NEED and sell to that need. I use fact based selling and give him all the facts. Sure, I have a rapport with my clients and a very friendly relationship, but you cannot take rapport to the bank. Rapport comes secondary after their business need. I can give you numerous examples of where a client took MY PROGRAM over that of a competing sales person who was a FRIEND, only because I understood my clients needs and fashioned my program to meet his need.

If you want to be respected and taken seriously in business, you WON'T flirt. You will focus on meeting your client's needs in a professional, ethical manner.

Credibility is the most important trait of a successful, professional sales person. Flirting is not only unprofessional, but it destroys credibility. My clients wouldn't tolerate that nonsense for 2 seconds. A person is not going to entrust a huge financial investment to someone who has no credibility.

So, if you want be taken seriously, stop flirting.

It sounds like your boss considers it flirting. Is he using those words?

In the companies I've worked for that would have been a sexual harassment charge waiting to happen. He would never say that to a male employee, would he?

I think I'd tell him I have a problem with him distinguishing me from fellow employees on the basis of gender like that, then I'd take it to his management, then to H.R., and then leave and find another job.

How about telling him I'M MARRIED!?!

And how about saying "I am not unprofessional!!"

I would look him squarely in the eye and say

"I have a firm business rule to never say anything to a man that I wouldn't say to a woman. That way I never have to worry about sexual harassment problems."

Leave it hanging there, and see if the knucklebutt can figure out that you're telling him HE should be worried about that.

This deserves to be restated. It is particularly true for women. No woman, regardless of marital status, should flirt on the job, or conduct themselves in any manner that could be construed as flirting. It is guaranteed to destroy your career and your professionalism. And if you're married, you destroy your marriage along with it.

Signed,

Tabby who has butted her head against the glass ceiling for 20 years and has seen it all.

lol ddd ,

Strip club !!! Far from it. Safety / Construction products I sell backup alarms for heavy equipment.

Actually he said this to us girls when the econ was really bad. Joshing of course , but it has been said. He is also the OWNER of the company.

Melody ,

I agree with you 100%. The product has to sell itself sometimes. The person behind the product is seconary. I bend over backwards doing research, saving my customers time, etc. That is how I make my sales. If I or anyone else depended on my flirting abilties I/we would go broke. lol

Good for you!!

Markos what is funny my boss has said similar things to the male employees.

Thankfully most months he drops in for a hour or so & leaves.

And yes I have stated to him I am married so bug off.

MB .... I like that Knuckle butt lol !!!!

I am going to keep your guidelines in mind. In all aspects of interacting with the male gender. I never realised how much even banter can be misconstrued. I know I have never liked when I heard my H flirt or be overly friendly. I wouldn't say anything just because I didn't want him thinking I was this crazy wife.

You know over the years me showing a little bit of jealousy would of went far.

So all of this my eyes have been opened wider than they ever have. That is something I won't regret.

Tabby,

Thread has opened my eyes to not only workplace relationships but any males I interact with.

Also so everyone reading this knows the OWNER my state flirt with customers to make more sales. But the People that actually run the company would have a issue with this.

So I am safe in that regard. He's a great boss/owner but has some squirelly ideas on how to make more sales. Thankfully we have a VP & a accountant who reins him in. lol

Also I have stated to my H .... if he finds that my job is a issue I will find another job.

We may miss the $$$$ & awesome benefits but I can't get another him.

I haven't been here for a very long time -- years -- but felt the need to read this morning and found this thread.

My fwh was a flirt and watcher. In my ignorance at the beginning of our relationship, I thought "watching" and flirting were harmless. I will tell you it always made me feel lousy, but tolerated the behavior because I didn't think it went anywhere. Just natural male interest in the opposite sex and just normal bantering at work .... right? Well, in our case it was definitely not right.

As we worked through our issues -- I put this one at the top of my list.

Follow through on sexual attraction is not healthy for us. I consider flirting and oggling as follow through. I agree with other posters, it is testing the waters.

We can always say "I never meant to follow through" or "it is harmless fun" -- but the truth is it opens a door best left closed.

Thank you for your response HNS

I agree with you totally. I might have not a few years ago.
I knew his flirting or paying more attention to a female friend
I didn't like.

I didn't want to show him my jealous side. But I was feelings those things for a reason & I should of paid attention to them.

Also should of paid more attention to him when he had a problem with me being overly friendly with males. Instead of writing it off as him just being jealous, over reacting. we are just friends what's your problem ????!!!

Well we both should have paid more attention because it slowly helped erode our marriage.

To the point of him not thinking I cared. Anding finding attention else where.

To me finding my attention else where.