Had to share this story about a shattered M through impossible odds. This will be a long post but I need to explain how bad this experience was for them.
I recently met this husband and wife at my church and could not help notice how loving they were to each other. (I tend to watch how couples interact with each other these days).
Both are in their mid-sixties. I asked how many years they were together. The wife laughed and said well we were married for 23 years, divorced for 12 and remarried for these past 5 years.
Last night I met with this woman for coffee and was impressed with what she told me...
Her then DH had a successful military career and then retired and went into sales. He was also a very active elder in their church. He got friendly with a woman who worked for him and felt sorry for her because of all the bad relations she had and told his wife he was "counseling her".
DDay: H starts taking phone calls in other room every time this woman calls. BS asks are you having an A. He said yes that OW "needed him". Wife blew up and threw him out and exposed to family and his job. He tells BS I wanted you to know so you would throw me out so he could be with his true love. He packs that day and leaves. WH moves in with PASTOR but "forgets" to tell him the part that he is having an A. Wife exposes to pastor and church and WH does not understand why the church does not want him to be an elder because God understands.
H is offended and stops going to church after that.
Wife and Husband have ugly ugly D. Right up there with the worst waywards on this site. He quits his job and takes a minimum wage job so not to have to pay alimony and less CS. He threatens to tell their 2 children (college age) about how their mother had a child out of wedlock when she was 16. He stopped contacting his children and they ended up in counseling. You know a real charmer.
After a few years of OW going in and out of his life he goes bankrupt and OW leaves him
BS credit is negatively impacted by this also.
BS said the only way she protected herself was by putting up a brick wall and telling everyone she hated him. She dedicated herself to her children and career. Dated a little bit but said she finally enjoyed living alone and taking care of herself.
WH meets another woman at work and ends up marrying her. Within 18 months she passes away from cancer which was in remission for many years. DD attended the ceremony. Only time BS sees XH is when he and new wife attend son's wedding. Son did not want new wife in wedding pictures and BS said she partied the whole wedding and danced all night to hide her pain.
Years roll along. BS BIL in serious car accident and he almost dies. He is seperated from his wife for infidelity. Wife takes him back and nursee him back to health which takes 2 years. BS is amazed with this and starts to forgive and realize how short life is.
11 years after the D she sends a handwritten note to XH saying I forgive you and life is too short to have all this hate inside me. When XH opens it he thinks that either BS is dying or in anger management but he writes back. They live in 2 different towns. They correspond by mail for 3 or 4 months and finally he mentions that he misses going to church because he works every Sunday. BS tells him that she started going to a new church on Saturday night he should try.
He calls her after 11 years and says how about if I pick you up for the service and we go out to eat after. BS agrees and think she has lost her mind.
They go out and she says it was surreal sitting there talking to him. They do the same the following week. They discuss the past and he has remorse to all the pain and hurt he has caused. Despite her family hating him, all the hurt he put her through they fell back in love. He apologized to his children and his daughter told him through tears if you put us through this again I will never forgive you. Son took much longer to come around and is starting to accept that he has his real "Dad" back. Fast forward 5 years to present. T
There are strong boundaries. They are dedicated to each other and their M. She said they honor each other everyday. To see them and know their story is a miracle.
Final note...a few years back they sit down together and share how DW had child she adopted out. After searching find that her son has been looking for her for years. They now are sharing their life with him, his wife and their grandchildren.
Thanks for letting me share this.
