Thanks.... I do hope so. I am not telling him much more than he NEEDs to know. (He says he doesn't care what I do.... other FWS have insight into this????) I am sure he does care....

He shouldn't know anything about YOU. I was talking about things involving your children. You should try to keep yourself as dark as humanly possible.

I try to keep as little about myself known to him. If he has the kids and I go out of town, I have to let him know.

Found out he finally is having his mail forwarded after 7 mos of not living here. Should I stay or should I go..... give up hope?? Yes, I am in plan b and I am protecting myself but that's about all. he told my kids that the reason I don't want them around OW is b/c they have fun with her and I don't ever have fun. Uh... what. Typical WS? Maybe the reason I don't want the kids around her is b/c she has no morals (despite what either of them say, going after a married person is NOT moral), she helped to destroy our family and she took advantage of the entire situation with him and I and swooped in..... as she has always done in the past.

Well, I wouldn't know about the mail thing, my WH still gets all of his mail here and he has been gone for more than 13 months now. I got mail for him today and I think I need to deal with it the same way I have since August, RTS.

Now, as far as what he is telling the kids about OW, don't talk poorly about OW and WH as people(a good rule of thumb is to think, "What would a judge think if they heard a tape with what I am about to say?"). You can tell your children that the actions are bad. That you only want to protect your children from OW. That what OW and WH are doing is wrong. That type of thing. When you are dealing with the possibility of custody arrangements, you need to be careful. You should still remain honest and teach them about the values that you would like them to have one day. I had my DS10 ask me one day, "If adultery is a sin, and Daddy is doing that, does it mean he won't go to Heaven?" Tough questions from kids, but ones that they come to on their own.

Well, my 5 year old said that daddy was lying and when you lie, you aren't listening to God.. you are listening to the other guy. Then he asked me who the other guy is and I said, who... satan? He said YES! Satan.... so now he says that Daddy is listening to Satan and Satan tells you to tell lies, etc. He did say once that Daddy was Satan... I QUICKLY corrected him. I said, no... Daddy's making bad choices and so is OW. It is Satan who "whispers" these bad choices in their heads and makes it feel good so they think that it is ok but it really isn't. He has said that Daddy won't go to heaven b/c he is lying. I said that I don't know... that is only something God can decide, but right now his daddy wasnt asking for forgiveness that I seemed to notice and God only lets you come if you ask for forgiveness.

I am not saying that they are bad people... just bad choices. But, Steve Harley did tell me last week that it is hard to convince a person that an affair is wrong if his/her parents are enabling and condoning what they are doing. By allowing your son to live at their house for over 7 mos after he cheated on his wife AND walked out on his family (which he proclaims he didn't walk out), they are basically telling him that what he is doing is ok. Makes me SICK!

So... kids just came home from another FUN FILLED packed weekend with WH and POFSOW. First, the weekend started off with WH writing his child support check for one amount in the box and another on the written line... needless to say, couldn't deposit it AND he didn't give me a new one as requested either. Brought the kids back with no hat and gloves. Oh, and my son has a black eye which he failed to mention to the drop off person. My son said that he got it while WH and POSOW and her kids and mine were playing hide and go seek in the house and they were running in the house. Also, both of my kids have had horrible coughs since last week, and he knew it. My kids asked their dad for some medicine and he said they didn't have any... all there was is adult medicine. OMG... we have a walgreens AND a CVS here in town w/i 2 miles of skanks house!!!!

I am documenting it and hope this will help in some way shape or form. I hate this alien that has taken over my husband. I can't believe this at ALL!

Stick to only one thread.

Just caught up on your thread and have a few thoughts. For one thing, your attorney works for you and must do as you request, within reason. He can advise you on whether or not something will be effective or not, but he can still ask the court for things even if he knows they won�t necessarily be approved. What would I do in your shoes?

I would file for a protective order granting you full custody of the kids until a psychologist can perform an evaluation of the children to determine if they have been exposed to inappropriate conduct in addition to fighting and yelling. Then you make your allegations:

1. They fight in front of the children.
2. They sleep in the same room with him and OW.
3. They engage in sexual activity with the children in the room.
4. X came home from POSOW�s home with a black eye. Request an investigation as to how he got this bruise.
5. They neglect to care for the children�s medical needs.


You request an immediate order putting the kids in your care only and that there be an order that the children not be around the paramour, an immediate evaluation of the children, supervised visitation only for WH, a guardian ad litem (attorney for the kids), and child support (paid through the county), and spousal support.

Is there an official court ordered visitation schedule?

Part of your problem is that you don�t know the law and seem to have lazy lawyers. What I just wrote is basic stuff they should have done already.

Don�t ask your lawyer. Tell him to do this.

Just thought of something:

Your kids say that they kiss in front of them. How do you know they�re not having full out sex with the kids in the room and your kids have no way of describing it other than �kissing�?

You need to come out with guns blazing on this.

We are going to court this week. I have brought these things up to my attorney, who has addressed them with his. However, his attorney has NEVER responded (that I know of) to any of the allegations that have been brought. My attorney said there is NOTHING I can do to keep the kids away from her. I have told him that the kids have come home and said the kids watched a movie while those 2 scumbags went int he bedroom with the door closed and locked. Attorney said that there is nothing that can be done until we can prove that she or he has harmed the children. Kids are going to a counselor and will be seeing a psychologist next month.

I have asked the attorneys (both of them) and both have said that there is nothing I can doabout keeping her away from the kids, especially since he is living with her and her kids now. Kids have mentioned that POSOW walks around the house in only a tshirt or sweatshirt, daddy is walking around in boxer briefs, etc. They obviously don't seem to think that all of that is inappropriate behavior; my kids must be bothered by it since they are bringing it up to me.

I do have full custody at this point in time, and he has visitations. With his recent stunt pulled with taking kids out of town, his attorney has YET to respond to my attorney's questioning on it. I have brought up all of the above and he has advised that it would be a waste of time to bring forth until I have concrete shady evidence.

I can't guarantee that they did not have sex with the kids in the same room while they were out of town. The kids said they didn't see anything other than the usual stuff.

The bruise came about bc they were aLL playing hide and go seek in the house, running around, and POSOW's son ran into my son and he fell into the couch.

Ok, this is why I think your attorney sucks:

You can file and ask the judge for what I said. I tell you this as a man who had those things filed by my ex.

She made all kinds of allegations.

None of them stuck because she couldn't prove them, but a child psychologist would pick up on these things and recommend accordingly.

I also think your attny should represent YOU and your wishes.
Fwiw, I only hire attny's who believe pretty much politically as I do..why? I know some of them have a tougher stance on certain issues, such as adultery. My x attorney, she had an issue with me having a hissy fit over the ow being around my child and the whole "instant add water" family thing.

I also had an ex who would allow my son to get sick by being around the ow's kids and we were ALWAYS going into the pediatrician.

If they are inappropriately dressed and displaying sexual affection around the kids, that is simply INAPPROPRIATE. That should be dealt with and the attny should think this is key, because 1)the kids do not need to be exposed like that to adultery and 2)the kids are already confused enough by daddy living with the ho-bag.

Tell your attny they are fired unless he represents you and your wishes and that he is to fight 100 percent for you and the mental, physical, and spiritual well-being of your children.

Waywards suck. And so do the po-sow (pronounced poor sow)'s out there. I call them po-sow's b/c they rut like pigs with married men.

NLF, I'm early in the divorce process and go to court in March to determine custody, child support, and spousal support.

One of the things my attorney requested is that DS not be exposed to the OW even through telephone calls made by WH in his presence. My attorney requested this because it is standard to not expose minor children to affair mates AND because I requested the additional injunction against telephonic contact. DS originally requested this of his father but his father is unwilling to agree to refrain from calling Po-Sow in son's presence.

My attorney believes that the judge won't have any problem granting this for now. He says that after the divorce Po-Sow won't be an affair mate (since WH and I will no longer be married) and that this injunction won't continue past that time.

But there have been people who have had it stated, in their D papers, that there are not to be nay overnight guests, of the opposite sex, while the children are with that parent. Look into it.

You're right, Scotty. That's not much of a consideration in my situation because Dumpy lives so far away but she could come to visit her mother and stay with WH. I also should say that the same injunction applies to me (but not really because I'm not wayward).

That;s sometimes why the WS agrees to this stipulation because they think that means the BS can't have a BF either. A sort of stick it to them type thing.

And your H doesn't have to live there. Your H could choose to live there, but the kids don't have to go there.

Seriously, your attorney's work for you. Tell them to file about these things or find a new one who will.

I am working on my email as we speak. Hearing is this week.

I really feel sorry for her kids but they all think it is great b/c now they have 2 dads. My kids barely have one. (And haven't talked to him in almost a week. He called once, left a message he would call back and NEVER DID.)