Okay, I've done everything I am supposed to. Without listing everything, know that I have worked on myself, I am again friends with my W and we are still getting divorced. <P>Actually life is good, stable. I have a sense of acceptance, but with it came a realization. I don't really like it, but I think this marriage is done and it's because things are so pleasant. I cannot describe this accurately. There is no sense of desperation left. Is this the way it's supposed to work? You work on yourself, you let go, you heal, you move on. These are things that so many have advised me so that I could originally save my marriage, and now I don't think it should be saved. <P>I followed the rules and it has gone so smoothly lately. I am not angry or sad anymore. Yes, I do still love her and accept that she will be in my life for the rest of my life. I can talk to her about who she is dating and problems she's having without getting jealeous or hurt. Whenever this happens it surprises me; at the same time I am proud of myself, I look back and see how far I have come personally. <P>Our kids are happy and have adjusted to these changes, they see us get along and it gives them a sense of security I think. I think I have lost my sense of commitment to the cause and now live each day with the new normalcy. <P>Forgive the initiation (and I have) of the seperation (which was W's affair) and you couldn't ask for a smoother divorce. No attys, no gov't involvement with the kids (Friend of the Court, in MI), no fighting. I thought if you did the things you were supposed to, you could save your marriage. Or, do you do these things to simply heal, then what happens, happens? <P>Eric32
