Oh, I am sorry if that wasn't clear. The online program includes the home study kit (with the books, workbook and cd's). I don't think there is anything that you are missing if you do the online program.



I have felt that way at times too. That's why I like having the accountability coach. She sends out surveys to both of you separately after each lesson so she will be able to see who is doing what and she is available to help out with those types of issues.

I know it's not cheap, but I guess because we tried a number of times to make it to the MBweekend (which they don't have anymore, the online program replaced it) and had faced trying to come up with that $$ which would have been much more pricey, it just feels, well, very affordable to me in comparison...

Anyway, it has been so helpful for us, I know you wouldn't regret doing it!

Just saw where wife was texting a "female" friend (call her friend #1) for the last week. Called the number, man answered and I hung up without saying anything.

About two minutes later, W calls and says she's with DD at a friend's house (friend #2), to watch out for the weather since it's getting bad.

I then called the number back and asked if I was talking to OM, he said yes and I laid into him. He, of course, denied everything. I told him he had just brought on a world of hurt from a [censored] load of people all over this state.

Called MIL, she's going to call the friend #2 since they know each other to confirm that W is really there. Standing by.

I'm an inch away from kicking this [censored] [censored] out of my house today if this is what I think it is.

I'm praying for peace here.

So you have definite proof that she has broken NC?

I am so sorry NW!

Please talk to us before confronting your W. Are you thinking about Plan B?

Sorry, didn't mean to drop off like that. There's an EF-3 tornado on the ground, was trying to figure out where W and DD are relative to it. They're fine, in a bathtub at friend #2's house. Bet you a million bucks a-hole didn't bother calling her.

OM left me a message on my work phone while I was talking to MIL:


Well, F-stick, you don't effing tell me who I can and who I cannot bother. I tried calling his wife, she's out for a few hours, left her a message to call me back.

So, what's next?

Ideas?

God I want a smoke.

I know y'all have your own lives, but I could sure use some input on confronting her with this.

Sorry North, I'm no vet. Go find out whatever thread Maritals on and flag her down.

She broke NC.

Who labeled the phone contact as a Girlfriend's name?

Your wife has some explaining to do.

Trust factor reset to zero.

F-stick saying what he said was a lie to cover his (and her)azzes.

Time for some serious thoughts about your future with her NW.

I have not read all your thread however ; call his wife be calm , use impact words together e.g adulterous affair, purposefully and intentionally harassing your wife , exploiting her to satisfy his own emotional and sexual needs etc. While she may have called him he did not have to answer the call. You have his voice mail , keep it , make sure his wife knows the next step is a harassment charge against him.

I'll put a shout out for you for more vets to come by.

Can you tell us more about this contact? So he was calling texting your W for the last week? How much did they talk? She never changed her number?

OK, I was confused after reading OM's BS note.

I think you need to think about whether you want to go to Plan B. I don't know your entire history but it looks like you were in Plan A for a long time and there have already been broken NCs? If it were me, there would be no question.

North I see Suzie put up one flare, and I did another.

Hang on buddy.

Oh, North. I hate to hear this!

Questions: when is she coming home? Does she know you've talked to OM? How do you know OMW is going to be gone that long?

You've got to calm down. (Don't smoke!) This is a battle and you can't go off half-cocked. Is there someone who can watch your DD for a bit? You don't want to do this in front of her.

When she gets home, I would ask to see her phone. Just to see if she left any texts on there. (probably not) Then let her know that you know.

Regardless of who initiated this, your WW has resumed contact and has deceived you. She is a willing participant in this texting.

What do you want to do? Besides kick OM's [censored]?

NW - Hang on and try to take a deep breath! Your emotions are RAW right now and you're not thinking clearly. Take a step back and think through what has happened. Then think about the outcome you want, based on EVERYTHING that has happened - not just today. Then sketch out a plan and execute it. If that's a Plan B, so be it. If it's kicking her out of the house and then executing a Plan B, so be it.

Regardless, I would blow this sky high on the OM side. He's pond scum and his acquaintenances should know.

I'm very sorry to hear this happened to you. I don't get WSs, I just don't understand the mentality very well. Why risk life-long happiness, commitment and family for short term temporal fun in the sun.

Northwood, I am very sorry to hear this. You are on the right track, though. You have exposed the renewed contact. I would continue until you get ahold of the OMW and even consider calling the OM's parents if you can get them. If there are any more exposure targets I would do that too.

Going forward, you are going to have to take steps to prevent a repeat. If she is carrying on her affair over the phone, she needs to hand over the phone. Whatever means will have to be elminated. She will have to take extraordinary precautions to make sure this doesn't happen again.

And - listen carefully - you need to put the onus all on HER. It is up to HER to affair proof this marriage. Tell her you are not willing to live like this and she needs to take effective steps to protect you.

I applaud you for contacting that weasel scumbag and raising hell.

W did. It showed up on mobistealth as calls/texts to and from that number.

Wife's calling my work phone as I type. I cannot answer it right now. Just not in the mindset to respond.

Called OMW's work number (only one I have) and left a message. Also sent an email to her work address. Hope she calls me back.

North, make sure you check your voicemail if she leaves one, even if you don't want to hear from her right now. You want to make sure DD is safe, right?

Good job. Now, who else can you expose this to? Did you mention the resumed contact when you sent the email to OMW?

Am I right that she's broken NC multiple times? You have the right to have her bag waiting on the front porch, North. (DD stays with you, of course.)

Yes, she changed her number. And so did he. She put his number down as a female coworker friend and, seeing it on mobistealth, I didn't think much of it.

There was only one incoming call from that number since February when the number changed.

[censored], wife is ringing my damn phone again as I type. Voicemail can get it.

So on March 24th, she said she was 100% on board and not going to be friends with "Friend" as she knew that it was a trigger for me. And she didn't, she was clean for two weeks and then, bam, like I mentioned, she crashed. That was the same time she called "friend" (OM).

I told her the other day in counseling that her behavior now is just like it was when she was cheating on me. She quickly denied it.

I spoke with her dad this afternoon, turns out WW had called him (apparently OM gave her a heads up or something) where she spilled everything. Said she really didn't want anything to do with him, but he would call and text every so often and she got weak. You know, the same thing we all hear.

Anyways, she tells her Dad she's scared she's burned all her bridges with me, admits that she's [censored] it up again and doesn't know what to do. Thing that's different from the first exposure in January is that now she's calling her family for help and advice on how to fix this. The first time, she didn't want anything to do with them.