Just checking in to say "Atta Boy!" to you, NW!

From the outside looking in, I would say that OM is now in the hot seat where he belongs. His job is in jeopardy, his wife is p/o'd at him, and has enough class to be civil with your wife... That jerk will get what he deserves! Nice work dude! (BTW- I agree he violated his code of ethics with his company, and should be fired).

Before we were married, we vacationed in Jamaica at a privately owned Villa in St. Ann's Bay outside Ocho Rios. The villa was fabulous, and had it's own staff. There was a cook, 2 housekeepers, a groundskeeper and a driver. there were 4 couples and it cost $800 per couple for a week. Airfare was in/out to Montego Bay. I think it was $200 round trip per person. Look on Craigslist for staffed Villas.... We went to Sandals for a day, and paid $50 for access to the resorts full amenities (drinks, food, snorkeling, glass bottom boat ride, etc). Great deal if you can swing it!

Well, talked to the boss and it was anti-climatic. OM left that company recently and is working somewhere else. The boss was politic, though, so I don't know if it was voluntary or otherwise.

The boss said someone had asked OM about my wife last fall, and he denied anything was going on. So nothing was suspected, and her leaving the job with no notice wasn't connected to OM. I did tell boss that OM had had another affair within the last two years.

The boss did wish us well, said he was sorry to hear that that was going on under his nose. He added that he would be talking to OM (apparently for another reason) and would mention this to him. Heh heh

So maybe this is the beginning of the end of this mess. Wife's letter to me yesterday mentioned that she couldn't wait to get this show on the road, so maybe I'll start looking less at the bad and more at the good. Gonna be hard to do sometimes, but if this drama with OM goes away it's less of a trigger for me.

So happy to hear this, NW!

Yes... start thinking more about the good, and less about the bad.

If I were in your shoes, I would be very grateful that WW is "coming home" so to speak. Make it as comfortable as you can for her, but don't let go of your boundaries.

If I had the chance you are getting, honest, open communication would be the new order of the day. All every day to come. I would stop biting my tongue about things that really bothered me, and I would make a promise to myself and my wife of a wonderful "new" marriage...

Good luck, bro! And thank you for instilling faith in me... My story is still unfolding (and so is yours), and I still have hope. Your last post helped!

Thanks, TB. Like you said, I'm trying to look on the good side here and we had a good talk last night. Just rambling things, but the gist (jist?) of it was that we both wanted the marriage to be what it should have been back in 2000, and both want to make sure it doesn't get stale.

She came back to her question of whether I was having any regrets, it had bothered her thinking that I wasn't back in. Well, uh, yeah, what'd you expect (but I didn't say that). I said it had been rough as this was my third time at bat, she said she was sorry for that and that one day I wouldn't be doubtful that she was in this all the way for real this time.

We tossed around ideas for UA--came up with golf, heh, we both struggle at Putt-Putt so this should be fun!

Yes, I have my fears of a 3rd false recovery, but guess I'm just going to have to go for it. Why not, third time's the charm?

We tossed around ideas for UA--came up with golf

Here is an strong endorsement of golf from a FBH. It satisfies at the same time two needs. Yes, it does offer RC, but at the sametime there can be a lot of UA as well. And afterwards, sitting having a cold drink in the clubhouse/bar/whatever, even more UA time, with some dashes of admiration and shared efforts.

I NEVER played before recovery time (Wife did very casually) so the experience of learning something new together was delightful.

Go for it!

Golf will ruin a good hair do... NO CAN DO!

NG- That's kind of what we were talking about. It'll be fun since, honestly, neither one of us know much about it. Like, why do they wear cleats onto a golf course? We figured it was to aerate the grass or something. Wonder if flip-flops are ok? ...Just kidding, we're not *that* dumb!

Also, we'd probably place wagers on it, too. We're kind of competitive that way, all in good fun, though.

ML- A bit above my paygrade, but I guess the humidity can put a damper on a hairdo?

Golfing? I may have to steal that idea My H and I need to spend more RC time together and we used to golf together before my son was born...8 years ago!

Mel, you are too funny

Silly Texan. You get it all chopped off short and spike it up with gel, like I do! A Category 5 hurricane can't touch it!

FWW and I are going to get some rackets and take up tennis.

Why not? It's not only RC, it's physical activity. Exercise!

Ohhh, that's another good idea, HHH. My H and i also used to love to play tennis! Thanks for the idea

NW, on the golf, find out if there are any Par 3 courses in your area, it's much easier when you are beginner!

Golf? Did someone say golf?? Here's what's neat about golf as RC: it's just the two of you. Your attention is focused squarely on each other when you take turns hitting the ball. You get loads of conversation in about the way your games are going. You admire your spouse's good shots and commiserate with the bad. There is plenty of time for joking. You need to concentrate when you're hitting, so it's hard to get into 'relationship talk' which everyone needs the occasional break from.

There are cold, refreshing drinks waiting for you after the round. Slap a little BBQ to the agenda and you're grilling dinner, which is more fun.

Ignore MelodyLane. Those Texas chicks have funny ideas about hairdos.

Not to mention, they get back aches because they use clubs that are waaaaaaaaaaay too short...

Will do, thanks for the tip!

Our thoughts exactly re: golf.

As for ML, watch what you say...I think she's watching.

Psst, HHH, she may be watching you, too.

I ain't afeared a no Texan, I'm from the real West!

/flex

HHH--------><--------ML

Exactly what I was thinking. Don't mess with Texas.

ML if you are around here, go check on SaveMyMarriage will you?

Hes drawn a line in the sand with WW, could use more than just us neophytes:)

So, Reynolds, guess you learned something from T after all! For those, like me, who've never heard of the term neophyte before, I'll spare you the google search:

Neophyte
ne�o�phyte
[nee-uh-fahyt]
�noun
1. a beginner or novice: He's a neophyte at chess.
2. Roman Catholic Church . a novice.
3. a person newly converted to a belief, as a heathen, heretic, or nonbeliever; proselyte.
4. Primitive Church . a person newly baptized.