Yes, they do an audit every year (in our case every 9 months, some people every 6 mo.) and request copies of your current wages (both parties). You also have to provide them copies of your federal and state tax returns and agree to file timely. If you get a tax refund, you cannot cash it and must be signed over to the trustee. You must also sign over any bonus monies and do a motion requesting that you be allowed to keep some of the monies, say for a medical procedure or home/auto repairs. Most trustees are very agressive and take it very negatively if money is not produced, they can even throw the case out if you were hiding monies, bringing back all the interest and penalties with the debt since the time you filed. Long story, if you don't want to get throw out of the plan, you have to follow their rules. On the plus side, any money paid over sooner, means you will get your money back sooner!

ba

thank you for that information. I only know the creditor side. I am on the "priority list" right after his lawyer and the IRS so it will help out especially that CS ends in August.


Bankruptcy is a good option for the people who really need it, in his case it was wild wild out of control spending. Does not seem that it will not improve his spending habits with them going away first weekend after bankruptcy is approved.

Oh and in our case, the trustee and the judge would not approve any money to be paid for our two sons in school, nor my WH who is a displaced worker, nor myself whom I would love to obtain a master's degree. Further, we cannot obtain student loans (as if anyone would give us one!) or co-sign for the

No 401-k contributions either.

ba

Well then he is double talking because he thinks he will be able to pay for room and board but I don't think he has a clue of cost...obviously.

Now that is interesting because both XH and PP are making 6% contributions to their 401K steadily through this and it was included in their petitions. I am not sure if Texas is more lenient because he also pays into whole life insurance policy also.

Me too!!!

What if he can pay only 1/2, or 1/4? What does 1/2 or 1/4 of an Irish Jig, or other such dance look like?

Well, I must admit we have a judge who is a "lifer", at least 30 years at this so he thinks everyone is out to screw the creditor and hide money. Your XH may have gotten a more lenient judge.

I have read that there is some support for 401-k deductions, but in my case I had to prove that I stopped them during the creditor's meeting. I don't think I will every recover financially from this as I am 49 and to go 5 years without contributing towards retirement is a killer, I don't have a pension. I don't foresee any retirement in my future, but that is our situation.

My YS was very depressed as all/most of his friends went out of state to school. I finally talked him into going to the community college, which in his mind was "a waste of his time". He has about 2 semester's to go, we have until 11/2012 until we are out of bankruptcy and can help him. He doesn't have any motivation to finish sooner as there is no way I can pay his tuition to a 4-year school. Life stinks especially when our kids are affected.

In our case the finances are bad due to WH bad choices in buying a business from a friend of his for $100k after he was laid off from a telecom company. The company lost money every year and tanked with the housing market. I had to put food and gas on credit cards. He also ran up personal debt to pay business debt. He zero'd out his 401k to support the biz, never to support the family. But hey, I'm not bitter!

I hope for your DS's sake that something can be worked out.

Hello, BA

Your son is about 20? Does he live with you? Can he claim himself "independant" and seek school loans on his own.
He would have to show 1 year residence here in MI.

H333;
all I gotta say is

Hi Barbie,

Yes he is 20, almost 21, and lives with us. Our middle son took a job in Chicago and maybe he could work something out that way, hadn't thought of that, thank you!

Hope, I meant to say DD above, I am so used to boys I guess!

ba

Hey Hope,
Hang in there and help guide DD venture into college. If xh comes through to help pay for something great; let him. If not you have a plan; getting the education is the most important thing. Maybe she cannot live on campus the first year; but that is usually not a horrible thing and year 2 she can start working, find roommates, and have the full experience.
Just keep reminding yourself the Karma bus, oops I mean tank is coming; XH and PP are in its path.

Gaw I hate PP and your xwh! That carma TANK is coming. Just know when they go through their divorce (which WILL HAPPEN), it will be ugly, more vile, and more heinous than you can imagine.

Just keep away from them and when people (mere strangers even) ask you, like people used to ask me at my son's soccer games, why I would not talk or stand near his dad (and the wistress), I'd say "well because he and that woman were in an adulterous affair, he and she stole half the family assets, I ended up having losing my assets too, and he ruined my credit for THAT thing. Would you want to talk to THAT?"

I would expose and reexpose for years to come. I am 100% SURE MY RE-EXPOSURES DIDN'T MAKE THINGS TOO COZY FOR THEM. I actually enjoyed that part.

Just some updates...

DD17 is officially graduated...whoo whoo!

Sister and DD31 flew in for graduation and we had a good week. Yes XH went to the graduation.

DD31 went out with XH on the day of the graduation. He took her to lunch and she said he ate 2 loaves of bread and had a voracious appetite... She could not believe how much he had blown up weightwise. They went to the beach for a little while and said he had "man boobs". If anyone had seen a picture of XH 3 years ago from the onset of the A he was slim, trim and never looked better. DD said he was sweating profusely most of time. Interesting he was wearing his religious bracelet that PP's sister made and wore at the beginning of the A and a large cross necklace. DD asked him what was up with that and he said the bracelet was his "good luck charm". Guess God is a good luck talism to waywards??? DD told sister that he complained most of the day about lack of money and job blah blah blah. Said he had no real friends at work and everyone was in a cliche. (maybe people don't like them bc of the A??) She told sister that he looked very unhappy and she sometimes felt sorry for him. He did not make any future plans with her about coming to visit.

When XH picked up DD31 my sister went out to say "hi" to him. He looked shocked and very uncomfortable to see her at first. He asked how BIL was (who he was like a brother with). Sister says he is doing good but felt bad that XH only called him 2x in almost 2 years. XH had deer in the headlights look. My sister said that he reminded her of "Elvis in the latter years".

DD17 agreed again to let him come to the graduation. We got very good seats but XH was way up in the nose bleed seats and texting DD31 during it. He told DD31 that he could not find out where DD17 was or where we were. He finally figured out where she was and after 2 long years saw his DD17 for the first time. She could not see him and then he calls DD31 after DD gets her diploma and says I am not going to stay for the end because he did not want to get DD17 upset after the ceremony? DD31 was surprised he did not stay since DD17 asked him (via text) to go. Probably PP was having a fit in the pig pen that XH was out with the enemies all day. DD17 took it in stride. WE all went out to dinner and closed the place down and have laughs all night long.

She has not made any plans with him since.

XH bankruptcy got settled last week also. He pays 100% to all the creditors till the end of 2015. I went to court this morning over the last objection and it was withdrawn meaning that my documentation was accepted. I will receive 100% of everything that I have submitted as priority claims. Just wanted what he defaulted on.

Next is what to do with the house which of course he thinks I am trying to cheat him. hate to tell hm that the housing market is in a slump and he might get less than my offer. Waywards are dumb.

I know the karma wheels are gaining momentum.


H

I do have some ground to make up! -revs monster truck-

More of a karma tank or weapon of mass destruction...

WMD baby.

Well sounds like he's LOVIN that life with PP huh? (evil laugh). Give em' what they want you know. Sounds wonderful how he had to go ALONE without his skank to the graduation.

Oh how PP is SOO ACCEPTED (evil laugh) at family events. He is now forever on the outside looking into what USED to be his life.

This is the lot of my xwh too. Funny your xwh is wearing a cross now, b/c my xwh pretended to FIND GOD during this phase. It was an outward sign to show the world "see, I married my mistress but I'm not THAT bad of a guy." That's what it means.

Within a year he was cheating again on his wistress.

He did to her 1,000x MORE BAD THINGS than he did to me btw. Karma WMB will blow not only him away but her too. Give it time my dear, give it time.

Hugs to you for BEING THE MOM AND RESPONSIBLE PARENT and having a blast Your renaissance is waiting right now

WM I get....what's the b?

My brain thinks faster than my fingers can type. But for now, we can call it "Weapon of Marriage Builders"! Which is the ULTIMATE WMD to an affair!

Peachy funny you say this...but I do re-exposure at every opportunity. Was in mall last week trying out new makeup with sister and DDs. Got friendly with makeup artist and I always ask if they grew up here. Once they say yes, I always weave in my story about the A and oh maybe you know her....PP.

One time I met a woman that went to school with her and she said she did the same all through high school. Can't wait for that reunion when PP proudly presents my XH and everyone is laughing at her.

Life is good.

Today is a little tough. Today I remember the past and when XH was not an alien.

Today would have been our 24 year anniversary. Does he remember - absolutely not. No one remembers but me and I guess you good folks in MB.

As twisted as he is today, there was a time he was a good guy, a good manager and a family man who loved his daughters and yes his wife. 3 years with PP he is someone I don't recognize..or like.

"What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?" Mark 8:36

(((Hope))) I'm sorry.