I talked with the contact I had at her workplace, the email has been forwarded to legal, to HR and a supervisor. Due to the nature of their work they cannot give me any contact info for their company personnel. She assured me that this would be handled and dealt with care and confidentiality. So I trust her as this person is not friends with my wife. And honestly has every reason to follow through b/c of the confrontation my wife caused with her.

Workplace exposure was the only place I haven't exposed it.

The only person left was her real father and I have emailed him just now. But again I don't expect her father to hold much weight with her or influence b/c they don't exactly speak to each other very often.

Her family and friends are protecting her very well and are pretty much buying everything she has told them or not told them.

I will continue to gather evidence and deal with it accordingly, but her parents are pretty much worthless to speak to now b/c they are standing by her no matter what.

I am the ultimate bad person in all of this. Probably the only people that agree with me are my parents, my friends, my therapist and all of you

Have you told her family the TRUTH yourself? Or has she been allowed to spin this story with no challenge?

Melody I just learned something about two minutes ago when I emailed her real father and told him.

My wife's mother had an affair at work and ended up marrying him. My wife's current step dad who is the one advising her on this.

So really this all kind of makes sense now. Why her parents don't see it as a big deal.

The fact is their marriage is far from perfect they abandoned their only son and really to think that she will end up and marry the OM is almost laughable.

This just gets better and better. I don't even know if my wife knows about this.

Talked to her real father some more. Interesting stuff. Is genuinely a good person I feel. Ended up on the wrong side of a affair and played door mat. Sad really to see how it has effected my wife and her brother who is manic depressive.

Also talked to the WW a bit this morning. I did most of the talking but atleast she was responsive. Just brought up my day asked about her day and my concern for her getting good sleep and having a wonderful day. It really drives them crazy when ur super husband.

Well some how she found out about work. To say she went ballistic would be a understatement. I'm going to sue you. This is retaliation. I am going to garnish your wages. She pretty much said it all. Wants me out of the house immediately. Don't know if I can stay there with her and listen to what all she has to say. One minute it's both of our faults than the next it's all my fault. The OM and I are just friends. Hopefully in time this will pass. Hard not to argue with her when all this is going on.

Definitely don't leave the house.


Just friends? Seriously? THAT LINE?! That's got to be one of the dumbest wayward lines ever...

I'm going to sue you
Other person is going to sue you.

Those are common responses to try to control you. (I heard them and said "Cool. I'll sue other person back!"

I hope you didn't laugh, right? Such drama!

My WH had the exact same words about exposure.

"You are telling lies to my soldiers, my grandmother, OW's family, and my friends. You violated my trust by gaining access to my email and facebook and then went on to mislead everyone by what you found. OW and I are friends. You always hate my friends. She and I can have a relationship. Why on earth would I come back to you when you are so vengeful and out to destroy me? You are doing nothing but hurting me. What man would want you? Stop blaming OW for your failures. OW did not end our marriage. How could you tell her family and friends?

You say you love me and want to save our family, but your actions say you just want to destroy me. I am so hurt by you.

TOUGH, THIS MARRIAGE IS OVER!!!"

WH exacts words from his email to me after exposure. They all say the same stuff.

I laughed a bit.� But honestly the stuff she was saying hurt.� Hard to keep your composure during times like that.� Perhaps I won't leave, atleast stick it out and see how it unfolds.� She seems pretty determined to go through with either divorce or dissolution.� Does she have any grounds on the retaliation thing?� I guess the way I understand it is that we are not currently in the divorce or dissolution process, and what was said in the email was no lie.��Don't know if she could ever prove if it came from me or not.� I told her that if nothing was going on and you are just friends like you say�then there is nothing to worry about.� She came back with "people will spread rumors" "my job was all ready on the cutting block".��"You're a horrible person"� "How could you stoop this low".� LOL You mean stoop low like�sneaking around talking to another man and going over to his apt.� Her response�"I can talk to anyone I want, we are just friends and he is someone I like"� << Okay.� "This is not b/c of him"� "It's me, I am unhappy"� "I decided this was over when I asked you to move out"� " I have been unhappy for awhile"� "The OM opened my eyes" "You are trying to make me miserable"
�
Goes on and on.� Honestly don't know if the girl is even worth it anymore.
�

Fog Babble at its finest. Mine also said the exact same thing.

Contact with OM is what is keeping her at this stage. You have to decide if you want to Plan A some more or go into Plan B.

It will be up to you and what you want for your marriage. She is typical wayward at the moment. Everything out of her mouth is insanity and you cannot believe one bit of it.

itistoughlove-
�
It truly is entertaining to read that every person say's and does the same thing, but claims.....OH�NO its not b/c of him or her.� Just friends.� Yeah at this stage.� Now she knows about the workplace exposure and that her job may be on the line it may be best that I leave and plan B.� And I guess just ride it out.� I honestly don't think me being in the home, showing her that I still care will do much of anything except lead to argument after argument, like it has.� She has been confrontational and she will leave the home no matter what if she wants to see OM.� Again I could choose to stay but she will just sit there and try and bait me for an argument to reaffirm her own justification.� I really don't want to be in a enviroment like that.� I guess at some point you have to question is it even worth it.� Some things are just better left unsaid and move on and see if a connection can be made down a different path or different time.�
�
We met in HS, haven't really dated anyone else, so I can understand to a point as to why she is questioning everything.� I think she realizes to some extent that it was wrong.� As she calls it " I only wanted to protect you, no one wants to think they are being left for someone else"� But I know she doesn't understand the damage it has caused.�
�
She isn't herself and that is not the person I want to see in my life, atleast for now.�
�
I have exposed every where I can so it just needs time to sit and for me to take some time for myself and not worry about a person who is so set on a destructive path.�

You should have ensured that the e-mail clearly indicated that it came from you. Exposure in the MB sense does not mean anonymous exposure.

And if by "retaliation", you mean legal recourse, then if what was said in the e-mail was true, there are no grounds for such. In fact, you should welcome any such "retaliation" attempts - more avenues for exposure .

You could have said she could hvae protected you better by not catting around with the OM.



She's an active WW. Few few men would want an active WW in their lives. The actions you're taking now may stop her from choosing to be an active WW.

Oh she knows it came from me. And yes I meant legal. But I kept the email short and sweet, just told the truth. Hence why she was pissed. lol

Let's hope so. But I am preparing for the worst. Really the only thing that could possibly wake her up would be hitting rock bottom. Lost job. Lost house. Lost integrity. Lost husband.

There is no legal cause of action in any state I am aware of for "retaliation" of this type - it it were really retaliation and not a genuine effort to save your marriage using tried and true methods and advice of a nationally renowned PhD. (There are causes of action for retaliation in the employment discrimination context, but that's not what you have here).

Also, in order to have a cause of action for defamation, she would first have to show the statments you made were false and you knew they were false when you made them. Truth is a defense to a defamation action.

I can assure you, I have yet to find a legal cause of action a WS can bring against a BS for exposing the A.

My WH's AP is also threatening stuff. I have so much evidence.

Finah my WH is giving up two homes, his children, his wife, & ruined his military career for this woman.

I cannot make any sense out of his behavior. Take care of you and remember the MB plan is good. It will get you recovered and healthy.

Tough~

Yeah that's what I thought to be true. Thank you for the clarification

I feel for you. It is crazy. The institution of marriage is just not what it used to be. We married our spouses b/c we loved them and b/c they loved us. It is a terrible thing to go through and really a terrible thing to watch. To watch a person so blinded by infatuation that they are willing to ruin their career, their family, and ultimately us, is truly sad. I know we are hurting as BS, but really I feel bad and sorry for the people who have thrown their entire life away. They will never be able to learn true happiness, or perhaps even true love and devotion until that fog is lifted away and by then, it's may be too late for them.

The one glaring ray of hope that I constantly remind myself of, is that no matter what happens, we as BS will come out of this as better people, stronger people and more compassionate and loving people. That is never a bad thing.