PDC, I sincerely wish you the best, but let me leave you with one last display of psychic ability: I predict the Sun will rise in the East tomorrow.

Ahhh K1 you mystic, how do you know where I perceive the sun from is on the surface of the planet. Perhaps I envision it as a constantly burning star.

Thanks again for your concern. I have appreciated all the comments here from all. It has caused me to further examine myself.

-pdc

While most here have focused on the issues of this being a rebound, and of pdc not yet being divorced (both valid concerns), I see another big .

pdc has mentioned that he and this woman have never actually met, so the whole discussion of "relationship" and "love" and cohabitation is somewhat silly at this point. This is nothing more than an internet romance, and it is very VERY easy to let your mind fool you when dealing with only words. Words can be extremely powerful (witness the romance paperbacks), but also very misleading. Your mind tends to fill in all the gaps in the most positive light, and then when you meet the other person and they are not as you expected, it is a big letdown.

Even after meeting this lady, your relationship would be long distance and thus rather "phony", since you'd be seeing her during mini vacations, not the realities of kids, laundry, chores, etc. But regardless, you should meet this person before continuing down the path much longer.

AGG

I'd be really curious about an update to this one.

I totally understand where you're coming from. Yes we should be guided by the "rules" and you have to be cautious but hey, you deserve to be happy. Everybody does. I'll say take care of the relationship and see if it's gonna wait till divorce finally go through. Love can wait if it's the real one. Cheers!

Marriage Builders shows how love is created (love bank) and keeps vibrant (certain conditions of running the relationship) and there is no the real one. People pick each other cause they find someone who meets their emotional needs and off it goes. YK?

I have read this entire post and feel that you all are denying what MB binds to...that virtually you can fall in love and stay in love forever with any person who meets your EN. So that being said, it shouldn't matter if this is a rebound relationship or one that occurs 5 years post-divorce. Also, how many relationships or how much time needs to pass before a relationship is no longer considered "rebound"? Don't you think every person reaches this point at varying time frames? So are you all saying that you need to have x amount of "break-ups" post divorce before you can consider a life long relationship to be produced?

Looks who's back. It's sad to see that you're still as foggy as ever. And still twisting the Marriage Builders concepts to suit your own agenda and try to justify the actions YOU have chosen.
See the part of your quote that I've bolded? You've neglected to mention the rest of what Dr. H says in his basic concepts (emphasis mine to show you where you dropped the ball):

Of course, it takes much more than just the feeling of love to build a successful marriage. It takes your willingness and ability to care for and protect each other. But that feeling of incredible attraction is the best litmus test of your success in giving each other the care and protection that you need. If you are both in love, your Takers are convinced that the relationship is a good deal for both of you, and will not interfere with what's going on. Your Givers have free reign to provide each other the best of what you both have to offer.

When you are in love, your emotions help you meet each other's emotional needs. They provide instincts that you may not have even known you have -- instincts to be affectionate, sexual, conversational, recreational, honest and admiring. These all seem to come naturally when you are in love.
But when you fall out of love, everything that will help your marriage seems unnatural. Your instincts turn against marital recovery, and toward divorce. That's why I've created these Basic Concepts -- to help you do what it takes to restore your love for each other when you are not in love, when you don't feel like doing any of them. And then once your love is restored, these concepts will help you stay in love for the rest of your lives. This is simple ignorance of MB principles. And willful ignorance, to boot, because MB principles don't support your selfish desires. Nowhere does it say that you are to live your life entirely for someone else. You work with each other, as a couple. You know, as in MARRIED TO EACH OTHER? It's not about sacrifice. Unless, of course, you are unwilling to sacrifice your independent behavior.

If you look at what you've said, you're already acknowledging that you'll be moving on from your current OM when he (inevitably) fails to meet all of your needs. What a sad and shallow life.

What is that odd sound??

ROFL! I wondered where you were!

Anyone can fill up your EN, and anyone can also withdraw at the same time.

Withdrawing my love from you!

1) Lying/dishonesty/omission
2) independent behavior
3) adultery
4) Disrespectful judgements - how long until the OM thinks the food you cook stinks, makes fun of your stretch marks, or thinks you discipline your girls all wrong?

Filler UP you great an amazing man who is sleeping with me while I am still married and just ended this marriage based on my azz sleeping with several men, and I dumped my great husband and girls because I believe you amazing OM are the perfect man for me!!! I see a lifetime of happiness in your future Strugglin ...

A man who sleeps with a still married woman will cheat again. Last I heard you are still married!!!

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As if you have any idea what is occurring in my life right now! XOXO

My. Such an intellectually-based method of discourse. All caps and multiple exclamation points.

Is there anything further you care to add to the discussion of Marriage Builders concepts?

I just love how you are so quick to judge and ASSUME you know what has occurred with me in the last six months maritalbliss. You have no idea, but yet you attack me and attack me when I honestly was looking to further this discussion and get feedback to my questions. *edit*

We have seen this at least 1000x by other WW. They want justification for abandoning their husbands and children for the other man. All the data (facts!!) show (this site, and all other Adultery sites) a wayward cannot make a happy life with their adultery partner or any partner while still married because of the selfishness, deceit, lies, and betrayal of the wayward.

Strugglin' it is your happiness. Who are we to tell you if you are happy or not. What we know from seeing thousands upon thousands of the same, identical, not unique situation of your life is your happiness can not be found until you deal with your adultery.

Maybe you are 1 out of 5000 women who committed adultery and is perfectly happy. It is possible. The mere fact you are posting on PDC's thread to justify happiness while sleeping with a man who is not your husband strongly (factual again) suggests you are not happy, and are needing reassurance.

Granted you may be the 1 out of 5000 adulterous women who are very happy, and are going full speed ahead into your eternal bliss, but from your writing we can all see you are not the 1/5000.

The key here is you have not resolved your adultery with your husband. Nope you made contact again, and are now heading for divorce. This divorce is all yours and there is no one to blame but yourself.

Granted your husband may have not done his part to meet your EN's before your adultery. You have that right to be mad. His actions proved to you, this board, and continue to prove he is faithful to you. He wanted to make your marriage work, and he wanted to love you.

Yep - your husband, the father of your children, the man devoted to you, still faithful, still committed willing to make your marriage recover.

Take the advice here to make your relationship with your OM happy. We know (likely you know also) trading your husband for another husband never works out in the end. Your husband, OM, and any other OM are not responsible for you.

The path you are setting out for will result with continued changes in men, until finally you either give up and repent or you settle for man who will be awful to you.

Best of luck with your life - sure does sound happy!!!

Got a pretty good idea, actually

We know.

I don't need to know the specifics of what's occurred in your life in the last six months. You're still wayward. Anything other than that is immaterial to the discussion at hand. You attempted to twist MB concepts to support your wayward state and I corrected you. If you consider that judging that's fine with me.

The situation is what it is. The sun came up this morning. Grass is green. You are still wayward. Facts are facts.

Your questions, IMO, were silly and undeserving of comment, so I didn't.

I caught your comment before the mod edited it. That doesn't concern me, either. I always find it interesting when an unrepentent adulterer starts flinging around thinly-disguised threats of eventual doom for whomever doesn't agree with them. I have seen that come with the territory. Maybe it makes you feel better?

I find it amusing, actually, that she would throw out that threat when it is she that is living in adultery. Really, strugglin, you believe in a being that is going to judge you in the end, yet you aren't trembling?

A mother who has willfully destroyed her childrens' world will have a LOT to answer for. Enough said.

Kinda sad to see you back, strugglin, and to see that nothing has changed in your way of thinking. So why are you here? To get help with your relationship with OM?

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma � which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." ~ Steve Jobs