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I had dinner tonight from my favorite Chinese carryout. They know me and so give me an extra fortune cookie every time I order. As you know, I'm out of work (again) and looking for employment. So I was encouraged by the first cookie's message: You will be successful in your work. I was brought back down to earth by the second cookie, and was reminded they're only entertainment: Your love life will be happy and harmonious Sigh. Fred, those are priceless! Don't be discouraged... Long time ago, I heard something that makes me look at fortune cookies in a whole new light. I was told that to be true, each one had to have three words added to the end. 'in the bed' Read them again with the three words added! I'll be sure to keep up with your post in the Divorced/Dating and Relationships forum now!
I am 52, stbxh is 46 One child together 15 DD 2 (mine) from 1st marriage, 26 dd and 28 ds. Married Dec 94 Separated Oct 09 Too many D-Days to list. (EA/Cyber affairs) He filed no fault 3-2011 I countered with grounds. Court date set for June 6, 2011 for Final Decree and was continued. That ticked him off, he is now fighting for custody. Lawyers are expensive, my daughter is worth every penny. Even the ones I have to borrow.
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I had dinner tonight from my favorite Chinese carryout. They know me and so give me an extra fortune cookie every time I order. As you know, I'm out of work (again) and looking for employment. So I was encouraged by the first cookie's message: You will be successful in your work. I was brought back down to earth by the second cookie, and was reminded they're only entertainment: Your love life will be happy and harmonious Sigh. Fred, those are priceless! Don't be discouraged... Long time ago, I heard something that makes me look at fortune cookies in a whole new light. I was told that to be true, each one had to have three words added to the end. 'in the bed' Read them again with the three words added! I'll be sure to keep up with your post in the Divorced/Dating and Relationships forum now! That is so funny.....my dh does that...he adds 'in bed' to every one he reads outloud (in private) to me. I will have to tell him I know now he didn't come up with the idea on his own.
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Hmm, didn't post, lets try this again and watch it double post Didn't want to t/j the other post so brought your comment over here. She is leaving him to see if you two have a chance? Bad enough she cheated on you, now she's willing to cheat on him WITH you? Oh heck no. Why even THINK about this? It's a no brainer in my mind. [[[SHUDDER]]] This is my worst nightmare come true. I'm sorry, but I couldn't put myself through this; it's too masochistic for me. This *is* Marriage Builders, so I'm not going to try to dissuade you (much). I wish you all the best. But steel yourself for even more trauma and anguish. That's my bet! I had to respond to this, with what my stbxh has done that I just found out about last night. When I left, he swore he was NOT having another CA, (cyber affair) turns out I found out very soon after (few days after moving out) that he was indeed having one. Now I find out, he has some bimbo living with him, and the name kept ringing a bell. No, not the CA I found out was ongoing for at least four months before I left, when he swore he was NOT doing anything, this is a different one, that I found out about a week later than the other. Does this make sense? That would make this one, a PA/CA OW who he was cheating with on the OW who he was cheating with while I was still in the house. So..hmm... a two timing two timing two timer or something like that. Who knows, at this point, it don't really matter how many times he two timed. Oh yeah, he did not turn in the discovery paperwork he was requested to turn in. What's that saying? Stupid is as stupid does? Thats him.
I am 52, stbxh is 46 One child together 15 DD 2 (mine) from 1st marriage, 26 dd and 28 ds. Married Dec 94 Separated Oct 09 Too many D-Days to list. (EA/Cyber affairs) He filed no fault 3-2011 I countered with grounds. Court date set for June 6, 2011 for Final Decree and was continued. That ticked him off, he is now fighting for custody. Lawyers are expensive, my daughter is worth every penny. Even the ones I have to borrow.
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You know, NSZ, it strikes me that stories like ours abound (Casey Anthony trial, anyone?) but until it happens to us, the realization that there are some very damaged and destructive people in the world seems so remote. It's like watching one of those "reality shows" that just seems so over-the-top -- until we're one of the participants. For years I have used the line, "Normal is just a setting on a washing machine." because there just aren't any "normal" people walking this earth. There are just those who have good boundaries, moral values, ethics and beliefs. And then there are the others. It's too bad we can't just hang a sign on those who are toxic ("scarlet letter")...
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words. St. Francis of Assissi
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You know, NSZ, it strikes me that stories like ours abound (Casey Anthony trial, anyone?) but until it happens to us, the realization that there are some very damaged and destructive people in the world seems so remote. It's like watching one of those "reality shows" that just seems so over-the-top -- until we're one of the participants. For years I have used the line, "Normal is just a setting on a washing machine." because there just aren't any "normal" people walking this earth. There are just those who have good boundaries, moral values, ethics and beliefs. And then there are the others. It's too bad we can't just hang a sign on those who are toxic ("scarlet letter")... I remember when I read your quote the first time, oh wow did I laugh at the pure truth in it. That was on a good day needless to say. The bit about the reality show just hit me, if I were to see my marriage on a reality show played by another couple? I'd NEVER in a million years, would believe a wife could see what was going on right under her nose, and be so stupid depressed as to do nothing to stop it or get out. As for scarlet letters, I agree, that would make life easier if someone were to brand these toxic time bombs. How's the downsizing going? It's rough, I have far more yard sale boxes than I have keepers here, and can't remember a think that I put in them! (That's a good sign for me!)
I am 52, stbxh is 46 One child together 15 DD 2 (mine) from 1st marriage, 26 dd and 28 ds. Married Dec 94 Separated Oct 09 Too many D-Days to list. (EA/Cyber affairs) He filed no fault 3-2011 I countered with grounds. Court date set for June 6, 2011 for Final Decree and was continued. That ticked him off, he is now fighting for custody. Lawyers are expensive, my daughter is worth every penny. Even the ones I have to borrow.
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Fred,
I'm sorry to hear the job isn't working out, I am confidant in your ability to recover. You have shown that out many times in your life, and like before, you will rise out of this, God intends for you to have an abundant life and He will bless you.
As ugly as it would be you know you could sale everything and find a way to feed yourself. That worst case scenario is just that and I know you'll be light years away from that.
Have you got the job search in full gear yet????
Me BS 54 XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12 DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
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Thanks for checking up on me, SC. I've been somewhat absent from the board lately, and much of that is due to the preparation to sell the house and the job hunt. Things appear to be progressing on the job front. I am waiting on two second interviews, and now will be attending an invitation-only career day next week (this means they like my resume and have asked me in to meet and interview). I'm almost afraid of jinxing myself, after having had so many false starts and dead ends over the past couple of years. But the drought has to end some day... Selling the house has turned into a bit of a blessing in disguise. I figure that if I can get out of a horrendous monthly mortgage payment, that frees me up to accept work at a lower pay scale than I would need to keep the house, and it also means I'm more flexible in where I can look for work. The problem I'm having right now is the lack of interest in the house. I have absolutely no one ask for a showing even though I got it "staged" and ready to go. It's only been on the market less than two full weeks, so I'm not ready to hit the panic button yet. But I can't help but be a little impatient... To keep my head on straight I joined a running training program, and I'm churning out the miles, getting up at ungodly hours in the morning on weekends to churn out 10, 12, 14 miles, or more. The weather has been very hot and humid, so it almost seems like work at times. I peeked at your thread a while ago. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and spiritually these days?
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words. St. Francis of Assissi
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I have posted a prayer request in the Prayer Requests forum. I hope those who pray will take a moment.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words. St. Francis of Assissi
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It was twenty years ago today Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play...
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words. St. Francis of Assissi
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Woohoo!!! Way to go Fred!!!
johnstwin-
"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther
Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!
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Bravo to you, Fredly!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I think that's such a testament to who you are, especially considering what you have been thru over the last couple of years.
I know God will bless your actions
Proud of you !!!!!!
SC
Me BS 54 XWW 51 Divorce final 1/9/12 DS26 DS24 Twin DD's22 Married 29years D-dates No1 01/2007, No2 08/2008(ongoing)
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Yay Fred
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Congratulations Fred! Your a shining light that the program works when you work it. Wheres the party? nESRE
M 29 yrs DS 28 DD 18 Me 53 FWH FBS MTA signed 5/11/2011 D final 5/16/2011
Free.... and going wherever the big guy wants me to go......
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It was twenty years ago today Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play... Congrats to you Fred. You are proof-poitive that it works if you work it! Seriously though, I have often thought of you maintaining your program through all that you have been through recently. In an odd way, you have helped me with my own program by reminding me that there is nothing a drink can't make worse. God Bless, and keep coming back...
-SOL
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Thanks, everyone.
While you all weren't with me when I began this journey, you have been a main support beam during this latest chapter of my life, and for that I am grateful!
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words. St. Francis of Assissi
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Many congratulations, Fred. You are an inspiration.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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It was twenty years ago today Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play... May the peace and serenity of recovery be your constant companions. God Bless.
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PS: XX looks like a beer advertisement !
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PS: XX looks like a beer advertisement ! When I picked up my medallion I told the group, "This is Dos Equis - the A.A. way!" (for those of you not "in the know...")
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words. St. Francis of Assissi
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