Thanks folks. I'll checkout eblaster and both FB accounts asap.

rj

eblaster for mobile phones is at spectorpro.com

You need to hide a digital VAR in the house and WW's car.

Also get a keylogger on the home computer.

If you can afford it--

Wouldn't it be just awful if her phone accidentally got dropped in the toliet? "Honey, you took it in the bathroom with you last night while you were drunk and dropped it! Don't you remember? But no worries, I'll go get you another one today."

Then go get her another one (loaded with the software you need).

Not if you set up a fake FB account.

First set up a gmail account with a fake name. Then set up a fake FB account using that name.

I see the makings of a Perfect Storm of Exposure.

Be still, my heart! LOL! I would like to take this moment to say "Thank You" to the computer techs who have made this technology possible.

Princess,

Oops!! So sad!!

I did just find out that WW's phone (Pantech Impact) is not compatible with eblaster Mobile. VeriSpy is a bit pricey so I think I'll keep my powsder dry on that until I talk to the PI on Tuesday. I didn't check if that is compatible.

Well gotta go get ready for a night with WW. Talk to you guys on the other side.

rj

Rj, check out flexispy and mobilestealth. Those are both pretty good I have heard.

rj - In my case I was able to get the contents of the txt messages through iPhone backup files.
Here are the instructions (for a Mac):
http://osxdaily.com/2010/07/08/read-iphone-sms-backup/

Hi folks! No bombshells over the weekend. WW was being far too nice to me but she still kept calling and texting POSOM when I was out with the kids. Pretty sure she had sf with POSOM on Saturday when she was supposed to be with her "girlfriend". No proof, just too many inconsistencies in her story. Got 1:50 minutes of audio from her car on Friday night. All I got was about 2 minutes of her teling her friend how wonderful Scott is and how they are so in tune with each other and of course how much I'm the opposite of that. She has also been trying to assure me way to much these days that "I'm not going to lie to you" and "I'm not a mean person". So I'm learning that she lives in "opposite-speak world". And then after being nice to me all weekend she turned major nasty yesterday through this morning for no reason I'm aware of other than she had been on the phone with POSOM while I took the kids to my Dad's 79th birthday party (she couldn't be bothered going).

I went on FB and found the guy is a major party hound. He really is so "not me" but I would never want to be like him anyway. It's clear to me she's been seduced by Mr. Party Boy. Part of me was actually worrying that maybe he's really a nice guy who was looking for true love but now I know he really is a POSOM in every sense. And yes, that makes me feel a little better. He has 622 friends and so many are just shirtless, partying "let's all give men a bad name", player kind of guys. And, to boot, his wife seems like a sweetheart on her page. She's into God and Hot Yoga and Rod Stewart Love Songs. Not quite the b*&^% he paints her to be.

Anyway met with the PI today. We talked about a number of things. I've got him on retainer and I feel so much better. Like a huge weight has been lifted. I'm also not doing the VOR anymore. He's afraid if she finds it it will blow everything. So with all the other stuff we're doing I'm fine. I don't have the time or expertise for all of this and he does. I feel so much better right now just knowing I have someone on the case who does this for a living and has an entire network of tools and experts to get it done.

That's it for now. I'll check back in with updates. Still welcoming any and all comments.

Thanks all,
rj

Let us know what the PI finds out, rj.

rj,

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Understand that your interference will bring fire and brimstone upon you from her.

Ignore it all. The hardest thing for a BH to do in all of this is to keep his head and follow our advice.

Keep tabs of all the times you stay with the kids while she goes out. Get a calendar and start keeping track of when she goes out and for how long.

This will be vital in a custody fight. The best you can hope as a man is to get primary custody, but 50/50 is a good settlement if it comes to that.

I have a feeling that OM's world will blow up when you expose to the OMW. I also have a feeling that he will drop your WW like a hot potato because she won't be worth the hassle.

The biggest thing for you is to be calm and collected in all of this. It's hard. I know. I also know that you can get so preoccupied that you forget stuff with your kids.

Try to be strong and come here for help. We've been in your shoes. You're doing great. Keep it up.

Thanks help,

I've been marking down on her phone records when she is on with him when I am out with the kids. Aslo marking when she gets a text from him while I'm home and she immediately leaves on a bogus errand and gets right on the phone with him. I've started formally noting whenever she leaves and for what reason and when she comes back. Had 2 possibly significant developments today I'm working on but don't want to discuss just yet but she is clearly getting more brazen. I just need to keep playing it cool and "clueless" and let her slip up. BTW I'm now virtually 100% confident it is a raging sexual affair (both on weekends and during their workday).

And yes I'm pretty confident OM will dump her in a split second once OMW is informed as well as both of their bosses. They work in a political environment and this sort of thing can destroy a politically dependant career so he has TONS at risk here (not my problem).

It's just a matter of time and patience til I have the proof. Then the hard part begins. It's hard for me to believe that love can survive this sort of thing but that's where faith and prayer and hard work come in. And if it's not God's will in the end then I'll be ready for that as well.

rj

Rj,

Here's something to think about... Maybe love cannot survive an affair? You can, your wife can... Maybe love cannot.

Here's another thing to think about... Maybe it doesn't need to. Maybe, just maybe if you have it in you, you can develop a new love for her if she moves towards repentance. God's will is that no man seeks to put asunder what HE has joined together. That means with hard work you can survive and thrive through this. Even if that old love dies.. New love can spring... well... anew.

One advantage you have is being prepared for the Dday. confrontation, walking her through recovery, etc... If she is exposed and wants to reconcile, you have tools at hand already.

CV

Curious as to why you haven't exposed yet?

Why do you need to play clueless?

CV,

Thanks for the thoughts and encouragement. It really does help me. I really like the "new love" thing. That really gives me hope. Thanks!

rj

I guess it's because I feel like I'm on the cusp of some real hard evidence. What I've got now is a ton of circumstancial evidence to which WW will have a ton of denials and excuses. And since it's already sexual I figure I'll stretch it out for abit to strengthen my case. Kinda like the lawyer who refuses to ask a question he doesn't already know the answer to. I want at least some irrrefutable footing to stand on.

rj

Hope faith and love... Love is the greatest, but having faith that love will spring produces hope.

I understand waiting for hard evidence. Hope that you get confirmation soon from the PI.

CV (sorry for waxing poetic today)

You're not trying to play Perry Mason, RJ, you're trying to stop your wife's affair. Expose now, especially to OMW, you have all the proof you need. Unless of course, you don't MIND OM screwing your wife while you gather "evidence" because you intend to go straight to Plan D, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

Of course, in family court they don't really care how many times or people that your wife screwed, they just want to divvy up your assets, assign custody, and usher you out the door.

Right now your wife knows that you know what she's doing, yet you do nothing. Think it's bad now? It'll get even more blatant and in your face, and she'll lose the last vestiges of respect she may have for you as a man. She's doing this right in front of you because she has contempt for you, RJ. You think you're being sly as a fox but in all reality she doen't give a damn if you know or not.

So far there's been no consequence at all. I'll bet you haven't even protected yourself by establishing a new bank account and withdrawing the funds that you and your family need to survive financially and depositing them into the new account. A woman who will spend $1200 on lingerie and not hide it will not think twice about plundering a joint account. That can only happen if you sit there wringing your hands instead of being proactive and doing something other than gathering data to save your marriage.

I want at least some irrrefutable footing to stand on.

Good plan. Maybe you'll be really lucky and she'll bring home an STD to share with you.....or REALLY hit the jackpot and she'll explain that the "little stick" she just peed on is turning blue because of the lunar apogee.

Or, like too many other BHs here, you'll discover that she has reached that threshhold of WW irrationality, and decided, even if you do break up this affair, she know longer cares to invest her time/efforts in being your wife, because her muddled WW-brain thinks that the EN-plethora she's living large in now is solely due to POSOM banging her lights out in the extra time she's stealing going to the Piggly-Wiggly.

Yeah, good plan, wait for absolute irrefutable proof!