Okay, I'll admit it, I naively entered Plan B with the hope that WH would come to his senses and crawl back immediately... not gonna happen by the looks of it.

So I am now curious about BS who entered Plan B and WS DID come back for recovery. How long before the cracks appeared in WS and the affair and they came back?

For those WS that did come back, did WS end the affair, or did the affair die a natural death?

I don't have the stats on Plan B and recovery. There are some examples on here. MF, and cd are the only ones I can think of at this exact moment.

What is more important to me, as being someone who is in Plan B and knows the struggles that come along, I need to know why you are thinking about this right now?

What you need to be doing is distracting yourself. You need to keep busy and focus on creating a life for you WITHOUT your WH.

I am sorry you are having these thoughts.

In my stitch there are all ready cracks at about a little over 3 months into a pretty dark plan B.

Signs of perhaps a slow road to recovery, not holding my breath though.

But I'll be honest when I went dark, it wasn't to bring WW back, it was for me and me alone.

Ive gone past this point tbh. TOday I was actually thinking it would be nice if I could find a man who can dance!!! But I have definitely been here and not so long ago.

I wouldnt mind knowing myself. It might also encourage those scared of the distance involved in Plan B to go for it.

I have a feeling the figures are pretty good, at least as far as the affair failing. I dont think I have seen an example on here of anyone whose WS didnt 'crack' eventually, when they kept a dark plan.

But it depends on what you mean by crack. Take peachy for example. Her WH realised he wanted her back, but he wanted to stay wayward. The affair will end, the WS will want his best cake back, but the WS agreeing to full recovery is something else entirely.

I think that part is the wildcard.

It takes real character to stand up and say: 'I did something really bad' - without trying to pin the blame on someone else.

I have never done anything really shameful in my life, so I can only imagine how hard it is to own that shame and make recompenses for it humbly.

I think it is really admirable and I know I would get my lovebank back for my h if I saw it in action.

Its a dead cert that your h's A wont last. But his strength of character is still up for question.

You have to keep in mind that even if his A is going badly, he is still alien. He is only worried about selfish things at the moment.

You need to focus totally on planning a life for you.

All of us enter plan B hoping our Waywards love us so very intensely that they can not bear to be without us long.
We all not only hope it but are a bit sure of it.
If they come back soonish, we are vindicated with our plan B choice.
If they do not, hmmmm, well, we are beside ourselves dumbfounded and can't believe it.
But, either way, you enter plan B for you and you alone. To make a boundary clear not only to the wayward BUT to yourself. You learn that your boundary has value beyond simply your marriage. It transcends the marriage to heal your soul. To see what you truly are made of and all people oughta be made of.

HTMS.

When you live at the level of your values, then and only then can you hold yourself in HIGH Esteem. Lower your values, and the consequence is to have low self esteem.

Tough~

BINGO !!!!!!!!