I feel remiss not noting something interesting for those who have been following my journey for so long.

Several weeks ago, without any warning, I received a text from D!ck. It was a Friday evening and the guy I'm seeing had his truck in my driveway. The text was insightful to say the least. I really should ask Schoolbus for a read -- but interesting enough -- I don't care what the true meaning is just that he sent me a text and was cruising down my street on a Friday evening.

His text called me a "big Christian woman" and mentioned me bringing the new guy around our kids (who incidentally all knew him before I even did!) He says for me to get married and "make it right in God's eyes". There was way more -- especially when I didn't respond and he taunted me for that saying I was "too busy playing house." THIS from a guy who IGNORES our kids (even trying to get one arrested for visiting him at his job) and who LIVES with and is ENGAGED to OW.

Anyway, just thought I owed you that since interesting things happen when you get a life, no longer care to protect the wayward, and ignore them. How's that go? What's good for the goose....

Remember, there is NO way to understand that wayward destructive SICK mind.

Howdy, Queenie. Very nice to hear from an old friend. How are things going with you? Hope all is wonderful!!

Like I said, I'm flying under the radar, but that doesn't mean I don't continue to pray for my MB friends (you!) and all who are struggling with their marriages. I just do not let it control me like it used to. I'm to that stage of acceptance, the stage I said I never wanted to get to.

I don't try to fix things anymore. I don't try to guess why D!ck does what he does or why. I understand what it means when people say "It is what it is." I'm there. I see there is a life beyond the A. A big, beautiful life.

It helps when you keep on the path you started as far as the kids. D1ck dropped off my map when he did everything he could to destroy us. His actions kept escalating and escalating. Threatening to have DD arrested for seeing him is too much. He is a person I cannot share my life with. He is unworthy.

I'm really good in my heart and, more importantly, in my soul meaning right with God. And that matters. Like I have said "I"m where I'm suppose to be, doing what I'm suppose to be doing." I'm not what I would say is angry or bitter anymore, I guess I'm just accepting that D!ck didn't want to be a part of my life and nothing I could have done or did do would change this. The key is "my life." I learned to not let others dictate my life. It's all ME and I can sit around and feel sorry for myself or live it. I choose to LIVE with gratitude.

Ms. Queenie,

sorry to T/J Ms. HH

You don't know me, but I have been so inspired by your story. I read your thread (yes all of it) many times for inspiration. I would love an update on your situation. We have been waiting to hear from you.

Blessings Tough~

T/J end

Ms. HH,

I am walking in your shoes somewhat. I have an addicted WH that has thrown away our two homes, his four kids, me his devoted wife, his military career has taken a huge hit, all for a porn star OW that is just a low life.

Everything I built with him for fifteen years has now come crashing down in less than a year. Sometimes I am still shocked by the devastation of an affair.

My WH is still addicted and was just dumped by his OW a couple weeks ago. Not sure where he is or what he is doing since I am in Plan B.

All I know is I dive deep into myself to realize all that has lost can be rebuilt better. I can feel the pain of your loss and the pain of the loss in your children. My four children are eight and younger and they are really sad about their dad.

Of course I cannot explain the addictive nature of a wayward to them, but someday I am sure they will see the light.

My joy today comes in realizing my self. I was enlightend by Just Learning and his analysis of self esteem on Comictragedies thread. He stated when you feel low self esteem it is because you are not living up to your values. When you live out your values you hold yourself in "HIGH Esteem."

I needed his exact words to help me get over my stuck point. It isn't us who caused this yet is it us who have to dig ourselves out of this.

Your post about how another man was filling in the shoes of your WH resonated with me because that will soon be my life if my WH doesn't get out of his fog.

It is the saddest reality for my children, and I along with my faith are the only two options my kids have to make it out of this nightmare with as little damage as possible.

Many prayers and GOD Bless you with your trials and tribulations.

Tough~

This is just so incredibly awesome. Like me, and so many others, YOU have truly survived an affair. And really that's what it is all about. JT always tells me, G-d will turn it to good and see how he has. We don't know how he does, but he will if we keep walking the path and just trust him. I'm so happy for you.

Hi Its,

I don't know your story, but I'm hanging around the house, baking blackberry pie that hubby just went and picked the berries for. GS is still here, napping so I'll see if I can read up on you.

Thank you for your kind words. I'm very grateful that my story can bring you some comfort. It certainly had its drama. But in the end, G-d won. He truly beat Satan.

I left an update over on my thread. I am so fortunate to have the life I have today and I truly don't take it for granted. I won't lie and say one part is frustrating, but take the whole picture and my life is truly a miracle.

Warmly,
Q

See Its. What Queenie is doing is what she's suppose to be doing. Baking pies and taking care of GS. That's what life is all about.

Skanky OW and WHs are NOT doing what they are suppose to be doing. They are lying and manipulating and destroying.

There is a black and white here. Good vs. Evil. Unfortunately, some people think evil is funner, more exciting, deserving when life gets boring. My WH called his life a "grind" after 25 years of marriage. It wasn't a grind to me and our kids. It was just "life." He CHOSE to see it as a grind; I didn't.

Take control of your life, but please, please... if you haven't, protect your finances and SPY, SPY on them if you have to. The knowledge I found and continue to find have kept me going financially. Now that he's in the midst of bankruptcy, thank GOD I knew what was going on.

You might think it's bad after a year, but it can get worse. Mine did. My WH went from one side of the chart to the other. The BIG difference is I no longer protect him so he falls on his own face.

I changed. THAT is key here. You have to change...detach... harden to protect yourself and your kids. It is really WAR. Be prepared. Gather your intellegence. Huncher down. Outwit, Outlast, Outplay.

The only thing that I would be careful of is how WH might react against you for having this new guy around. You never know what he might claim...that maybe this new guy is living with you, etc etc.

Not that he will, just that it could be a new delay thrown up into things.

I know that you feel its time that you move on but I'm not so sure dating is the way to do it. I've seen other people be told that they shouldn't be dating if they are not divorced yet so I'm gonna offer you that same advice. If you're married still, it's adultery. And regardless of what your husband is doing, don't follow suit.

Just my two cents....

Will your being with someone else affect your divorce? What does your lawyer say about it? I've heard that it can still be classed as adultery, even when the other spouse has left to be with someone else.

HH I am glad that you are well.

I am saddened to hear that you are dating while still married,but only because it is not a choice I would advise. I understand how your Taker would be SCREAMING at you to get some ENs met. Is your new mate married still or has his D been final? If it has been final, how long ago?

I only wish they best for you. Take care.

I've already been lectured by Hope and ChaiLover, and I knew this would come as soon as I posted.

But it's part of my recovery. And it is time.

Holy, I think they were worried for you.

Why do you refer to it as lecturing? I think they're just trying to protect you from your WH. You know how nasty he is.

It really shouldn't be part of your recovery, to date while still married. I know how long it's been, how weary you are and how much you want company.

But I will say no more, as you said, you've already heard it.

I applaud your strength to walk ur walk.

A true friend will never tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear even if it different from the rest of the crowd.
Never was a lecture just honesty. No matter what we have been there for each other as sisters of MB....

Holyheart, I wish you all the best and I am so happy for you - I also still have to wait for my divorce - another 2 years :-( Irish Laws and all...

Very nice Hope! Good to see both you and Holy on, glad to see you both are doing well!

ba

It may be over between D!ck and Bimbo. The signs are there. And I care only enough to post for those of you who've followed my life. Chai Lover asked me the question. Before she even finished, I said "no." D!ck is a horrible person who has done the most despicable things to me and my family. How he treated our children is unforgiveable. He shows no respect for his parents. Nothing but anger and blame splew from his mouth.

All he is is mean. And a liar. And a loser. Pathetic.

He deserves to be alone. Broke and alone.

I'll post again when I know more. As for me -- I'm doing great.

God is great. Beer is good. And people are crazy!!!

It will be interesting to see how thing go...........

He's out of money - that's what she does, true to form. Pilfer, plunder, steal from the marriage, and wring him financially until he's dry. then move on to the next woman's husband.

Watch out well-to-do potentially wayward and feeling entitled married men! She's on the loose!