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I edited it, should work now.
If nothing else, it's in her signature.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Thanks MB, and others for clearing this plagurizim up, with the midlife crisis thing and all
Yeah I thought it is a wimpy excuse too
As commented earlier on why do we find so many 40 yr olds here, I think it is normal as a stage of maturity and development to wrestle with certain questions in life at those ages
They are here because the wrong answers were embraced, and childish fantasy and escapism has taken it toll
Thank God for this place to strengthen the hearts of those betrayed, and to to liberate the rebellious wayward from the fantasy
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Thank you CP for getting us back on track.
Its been a long time since I had a good thread jack. At least we're not talking about Canadians and hockey and beer, wine, pate and salmon mousse and dogs playing cards like we used to.
It seems to me that whenever people talk about a "MLC" it is said with a heavy amount of derision and ridicule.... like, "Oh him and his damn MLC... or, you know how stupid people act when they think they're having a MLC."
My wife was 39 staring at her 40th birthday when she started her affair. That arbitrary birthday was just an excuse to make the wrong decisions, embrace childish fantasies and engage in escapism.
Calling her sitch a MLC, in mty book, does not let her off the hook. But I will explore whether or not she or I use the term "MLC" as ome kind of excuse. I do not intend to. Saying, "You had a MLC" to me is a very derisive thing to say -- appropriately so.
I read a funny bit somewhere in this forum about MLC. It had multiple chapters. It was a joke. Called, "How to Have a MLC" and went on to describe all the foolishness and foggy excuses waywards use. Its brilliant.
Anyone know where that is? Pepperband seems to locate archived stuff.
Me: 43 ExWW: 44 Married 16yrs. 4 children
EA (ExWW): May-Nov 2009 + Aug-Dec 2010 D-DAY JAN 30, 2011 Exposure: FEB 7, 2011 Contact Again: Apr 25, 2011 Divorce Final Sept 2012
"I want to be married and stay married. Now I uunderstand the kind of marriage I want and we all deserve. But I also know it takes two to want to Build that Marriage."
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My experience with MLC... I had friends / family IRL suggesting to me just prior to and after D Day that WH was having an MLC. I now know enough about affairs to understand that MLC is irrelevant. Affairs are totally about boundaries or lack thereof. But people always search for an answer wrapped up in a bow to explain why others do wrong things. People need a label to put to it, cause than they feel it won't happen to them. For instance, I have been able to tell that some friends have been thinking or even said "oh, MY husband would never have an affair, he is too sensible for a MLC". Some of them have a re-think about affair-proofing the marriage though, cause all of them thought my WH would NEVER act like this.
Basically, MLC is a one size fits all explanation for those who haven't had the benefits of reading MB's.
Me (BW): 35 Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it. Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Ok, please don't fight me. I'm sorry, especially sorry for Stretch, I'm not intention to disturb him, or made you angery, just try to see if there is any other reason. I don't have much experince, just guess.
This is the first web I found since I'm in trouble, you guys give me a lot help. I bought & read a lot of Dr Harley's book, it's wonderful, I'm here almost everyday read post. once again, sorry, Mr. Stretch. I out now.
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No no no! No one's upset with you, heart! We just believe there are better ways at recovering marriages than the ones that you mentioned. By all means, post any questions you have on your thread. We all want you to get your marriage back on track. We were just trying not to sidetrack stretch's thread...but it happens sometimes
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Heart2, lol, if you knew me I am one of the sidetracking greats in all-time history
I turn threads into smorgasbords of all kinds of information
The MLC issue or excuse or whatever you want to call it, came into the discussion area of "reasons", why people go into regressive behavior, sometime in the 70s, during the babyboomers hitting the discos and the ,"me" generation as the reason to express getting there share of self indulgence.
It has been a popular reason for the breakdown of people for years, when it was pointed out by MB, that it was about the stages of acceptance of our humanity and our eventual loss of life
Something I might add, has been told us to be ready for by God, most of our adult life
Back on a second on my PC, I gotta find a scripture
Hebrews 2:14-16 King James Version (KJV)
14 Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil;
15 And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.
16 For verily he took not on him the nature of angels; but he took on him the seed of Abraham.
___________________
For that reason I allways tried to consider myself in the midst of death, and ready to go home, if I needed to, and allways a child of God in crisis.
Yup, I have been a do-gooder, have a hero/KISA complex, and can come off pretty cocky and opininated also.
But what we share here is an important part of opening our minds and imaginations to thinking about old things in new ways, with the stability of reality and truth.
Dont worry, we don't judge, but I hope we trust one who does, and can be trusted to give us the truth.
See now didn't I do it again?
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Northwood you want to talk about maple syrup? This will have you wondering if I put a keylogger on your machine that I just show up like that huh?
FBH,Dad No half measures, in anything.
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Northwood you want to talk about maple syrup? This will have you wondering if I put a keylogger on your machine that I just show up like that huh? mmmmmmm maple syrup. Have you tried the new white hot chocolate from Timmie's yet? Mmmmmmmm Carry on. t/j over.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Northwood you want to talk about maple syrup? This will have you wondering if I put a keylogger on your machine that I just show up like that huh? Ah Maple syrup,.. now lets see...JK I don't have anything... Lol
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Northwood you want to talk about maple syrup? This will have you wondering if I put a keylogger on your machine that I just show up like that huh? Reynolds, you're a bad boy.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Northwood you want to talk about maple syrup? This will have you wondering if I put a keylogger on your machine that I just show up like that huh? That you showed up now is a bit odd... All's well I trust? But, sure, what the hey. Stretch won't mind if we add a few dozen pages to his thread...
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Northwood you want to talk about maple syrup? This will have you wondering if I put a keylogger on your machine that I just show up like that huh? Ah Maple syrup,.. now lets see...JK I don't have anything... Lol We'll give you a minute. Surely, you can think of something
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Reynolds, you're a bad boy. Pffftttt...Canadians. What can you do.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Ok well, I remember my blind accordian teacher in western mass being able to feel the flow of the Maple syrup sap in the hoses hooked to the trees...
Thats it sorry all I got
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CP-
Well, back B.C. (before children) we bought a jar of the "real" syrup, not that Aunt Jemima stuff. You know, the $5/bottle stuff that's straight from the tree.
So I use it for my waffles and put it in the fridge. The next day I see that there's syrup spilled down the side of the bottle and decide to wash it off. Remember, we didn't have kids so I had lots of free time like that.
I turn the hot water on in the sink, put the cold bottle of syrup under it and, well, the glass cracked and my $5 syrup went down the drain.
Now, surely, if the Canadians had made their syrup better I wouldn't have had that problem. Right?
And that's my story. Aren't you glad you stayed around to read it? I've got loads of pointless stories like that.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Ok well, I remember my blind accordian teacher in western mass being able to feel the flow of the Maple syrup sap in the hoses hooked to the trees...
Thats it sorry all I got Why were hosers hooked to the tree, eh?
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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You bought maple syrup for $5? No way it was real Canadian Maple syrup. That stuff is expensive. And what I LOVE is when Americans buy up a bunch of Coffeecrisp and Aero chocolate bars, as well as Smarties(which my DS8 used to call, "Farties" since he had a problem saying his "s"). Meanwhile, I go over the ditch(To the States) to get things like cherry coke, cherry pop tarts and cherry panda paw ice cream. I think I have a cherry problem. Hey Stretch, you don't mind the T/j do ya? I used to LOVE t/j's on my thread, it reminded me that there was a life out there other than affairs(although those are serious business, and I respect that, distraction is just good sometimes.).
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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.., as well as Smarties(which my DS8 used to call, "Farties" since he had a problem saying his "s"). .. Lol
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Yeah, it was a glass bottle about the size of a flask. They're usually on the top shelves while all the cheap stuff is down low. The glass broke through absolutely no fault of my own. Therefore, it must have been Canadian syrup. No way we Americans would produce something like that We're perfect, doncha know? Well, it might have been from Vermont or somewhere up there but, well, let's just say it was Canadian because it fits my pre-determined conclusion better. I didn't know Smarties were Canadian. Our kids got a ton of them (ahh, hyperbole!) at Halloween. You're talking about those chalky round Sweet-tart things that come in a clear plastic roll, right? I'll have to look up Coffeecrisp and Aero bars. And hosers. I've forgotten just what a hoser is.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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