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I'm with Northwood on this. She wants to play chicken, but to what end? Just continue to wallow in this for how long? Let me save you the math. Indefinitely.
Either she chooses to make this right or not. Full marriage full divorce. No compromises.
SB will hook her with the kids, although I warn you the progress still comes slow. If she does see him you have to be prepared to let the January deadline go.
I know depression is real, I know she is in pain. But how long are you supposed to work on this with what sounds like not a lot back? You have gotten stronger as you go, but will this last forever? Yeah if the marriage is solid and you get what you need too, I can totally see helping her forever with her issue. But are you getting enough?
I have read your thread, I see your signatures. Has she ever actually been afraid of losing you?
FBH,Dad No half measures, in anything.
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She states that she plans to move with finality in Jan. To review: Mrs. S. has withdrawn from the essence of your marriage as much as is in her power, providing you little/nothing in the way of affection/consideration/gratitude. At the same time she accepts your contributions to her well-being (DS, FS, etc). And her new plan is to announce (threaten) her intention to bail from this situation in which you are receiving NOTHING?Do you remember this scene from Blazing Saddles? "No one moves, or the Sheriff gets it!"Ignore this nonsense, Stretch. Keep doing the good work you're engaged in. Tend to your children, be the rock, and continue to urge the Mrs. to work through her issues.
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Happy Thanksgiving. You are all on the same page with me. Solid advice. I am grateful to you who have been along with me all this time and followed. Just some rough emotional days. I am back on track now. Made sure to not skip any workouts. Was crying. Let it flow for a moment. Then popped in the dvds and cleared my mind. Then took care of kids. Roller coaster! Her new meds are amazing. Such an upbeat person. But enough about those meds. Its also something within her. An attitude that her life will be great. "The new Mrs S" She said, "maybe its a relief that I am finally going to do this." And then,"But I am still open to fixing the M." "My life is going to be excellent on either path." Hmmm. That's what I figured out a few months ago. I am happy to hear her say that. Too much more to respond to and I am writing on an e pad which is slow. But there is a lot of good advice above and I really believe in it. Stay tuned. I will come back later.
Last edited by stretch123; 11/23/11 12:21 PM.
Me: 43 ExWW: 44 Married 16yrs. 4 children
EA (ExWW): May-Nov 2009 + Aug-Dec 2010 D-DAY JAN 30, 2011 Exposure: FEB 7, 2011 Contact Again: Apr 25, 2011 Divorce Final Sept 2012
"I want to be married and stay married. Now I uunderstand the kind of marriage I want and we all deserve. But I also know it takes two to want to Build that Marriage."
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Happy Thanksgiving, Stretch!
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Listen to Cicero on T-day
Me: 43 ExWW: 44 Married 16yrs. 4 children
EA (ExWW): May-Nov 2009 + Aug-Dec 2010 D-DAY JAN 30, 2011 Exposure: FEB 7, 2011 Contact Again: Apr 25, 2011 Divorce Final Sept 2012
"I want to be married and stay married. Now I uunderstand the kind of marriage I want and we all deserve. But I also know it takes two to want to Build that Marriage."
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Listen to Cicero on T-day Does he have a talk show? Happy Thanksgiving stretch
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Listen to Cicero on T-day
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I did not listen. My appetite was definitely not ruled by reason. Where is the Alka Selzer?!
Last edited by stretch123; 11/24/11 11:10 PM.
Me: 43 ExWW: 44 Married 16yrs. 4 children
EA (ExWW): May-Nov 2009 + Aug-Dec 2010 D-DAY JAN 30, 2011 Exposure: FEB 7, 2011 Contact Again: Apr 25, 2011 Divorce Final Sept 2012
"I want to be married and stay married. Now I uunderstand the kind of marriage I want and we all deserve. But I also know it takes two to want to Build that Marriage."
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Stretch isn't the rule you are the only one not allowed to jack your own thread?
FBH,Dad No half measures, in anything.
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Stretch isn't the rule you are the only one not allowed to jack your own thread? I do believe that you are correct. It's written down somewhere isn't it? And what is with all of these Americans thinking that Thanksgiving is today and not a month and a half ago? Silly.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I know its ridiculous. Plus I already got told today by one of the yanks on here that they should have invaded us when they had the chance. Little do they realize we invade them every day and take home cheap gas and all the chinese consumer products we want.
You and I should crack open a couple bottles of maple syrup and wait for Stretch to get back?
FBH,Dad No half measures, in anything.
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HAHAHAHA And they think they had a chance to invade us? We let them believe that. We were never going to be invaded. And have you seen the ridiculous way they try to make fun of us? It makes me laff, like children. Shhhhh, I think they may be waking up from their turkey induced comas. Nothing to see here folks, just some weirdos drinking bottles of MAPLE syrup.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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And what is with all of these Americans thinking that Thanksgiving is today and not a month and a half ago? Silly. Not silly, if you think about it. I'll break it down... We're right, you're wrong. Pretty simple!
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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You and I should crack open a couple bottles of maple syrup and wait for Stretch to get back? Um, Reynolds, I think you're supposed to pour that stuff on food and not drink it straight out of the bottle. Just thought I'd tell you, wouldn't want you to embarrass yourself in front of your Canadian buddies.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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And what is with all of these Americans thinking that Thanksgiving is today and not a month and a half ago?
Cultural orientation, Scotty, as our "Thanksgiving" idea was originally to celebrate, at the end of the growing season, the year's bounty. Since the "northern wasteland's" traditional growing season was best measured by a stop-watch, not a calendar, I would suppose Thanksgiving there would best have been scheduled in....July? You know, just before the lakes froze and hockey pucks were dropped.
But, the good news is that with the accelerating global warming, the "Northerners" should be able to move their harvest holiday to November, where it belongs. Sadly, however, Uncle Sam's would by rights likely have to shift to January!
(But illuminate, please. Our TG is based on the legendary Miles Standish/Pocahontas communal dinner. Yours must be based on something more grounded than "Hey, the Yanks just had a big feast! Let's schedule one of our own in October next year to pre-empt theirs!")
Anyway, can we agree that Christmas remains 25 December? I know that gives you twice as much shopping time, but that's the way it goes.
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Make fun of you?
When you spell ay eh?
Should we change hay or hey to heh or what?
You hosers
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Accually NG, this was a celebration of the winter solstice and pagan holidays all rolled into a favorite date was it not?
To the pure all things are pure
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Winter solstice (21/22 December) became the locus for Christmas, CP. The pagans and heathens (Hey, maybe even the early Canadians!) were overjoyed to discover that the daylight really was going to start getting longer AGAIN this year, and used that as an excuse for MORE feasting, drinking, carousing, and sexual excess, in the Mediterranean basing it on the coincident fact that the planet Saturn was in the ascendency (hence, "Saturnalia"), and the Scandanavian cultures calling it "yule", a derivative of the Germanic month in which it occurred.
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Good TJ. I just popped in for a bit. Enjoying this TJ which I seem to have started myself. Dont mind me. Please continue....
Me: 43 ExWW: 44 Married 16yrs. 4 children
EA (ExWW): May-Nov 2009 + Aug-Dec 2010 D-DAY JAN 30, 2011 Exposure: FEB 7, 2011 Contact Again: Apr 25, 2011 Divorce Final Sept 2012
"I want to be married and stay married. Now I uunderstand the kind of marriage I want and we all deserve. But I also know it takes two to want to Build that Marriage."
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Well lets be fair NG, at least nobody gets peppersprayed at the local Canadian Walmart. Of course you can't get a firearm there to defend yourself either. Nor can you hoist a cold beer in aisle three after you found a 99 dollar tv.
I wonder if I have three greenbacks so I can get across the bridge and join the mayhem?
FBH,Dad No half measures, in anything.
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