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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 25
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 25 |
I have not posted in a while but I need advice now. Things had been going fine for a long time until 3 months ago. I cannot go into details but I will only say that H defended one of his friends ( not OW) and found fault at what I did and said. H never defended me and that hurts a lot to this day. That "friend" intentionally hurt me and I was not going to sit idle and "take "it.
H and I had a few huge fights over it and things have been lukewarm ever since.
He has not had contact with her for over a year now but occasionally he sees her. I know that he should sever all ties and that includes seeing her once in a while, but it is not possible, at least not for now.
[b][b]Please do not tell me he has to stop from seeing her; I know that is how it should be but it is not going to be the case. I cannot give details. [/b][/b]
So H is going to a company meeting where she may be there. I do not know if she is involved in this project, but if she is, she will be there. Since things are not the greatest between H and I at this point, my question is: Should I ask him if she as there? or should I ignore the subject and wait for him to tell me voluntarily? What if he doesn't tell me?
Thanks everyone.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
When the Titanic is sinking should we put blue curtains or pink curtains in the main cabin? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
And I INSIST you do not mention that the Titanic is sinking!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 107
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 107 |
ML is right. You are focusing on the superficial issues here, whilst ignoring the root cause of the problem.
You say that "He has not had contact with her for over a year now but occasionally he sees her."
That clearly violates the NC rule, and without your WH committing to this fully you will always be on very shaky grounds.
Me, BS, 35
J, WS, 33
12 years together, married 2.
No kids, just cats
D-day 06/30/11
In Plan B
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 550
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 550 |
[b]Please do not tell me he has to stop from seeing her; I know that is how it should be but it is not going to be the case. I cannot give details. [/b] Okidoki.
Me, FWW: 43
Mr_Recon6mo, FWH: 44
DD20 and DS23
3 cats
Married 23 years, together 24
Divorcing
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