Exposure is done. She returns home on Tuesday, and that'll be when the fun begins.

We started into counseling before she left and so we'll pick up there. Our PhD said she wanted to have a session alone with WW so that's what's next.

Me??? Im takin care of me and my boys and be the happiest, cheeriest man she's seen in a long time. I gotta keep tellin myself that.

"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

Good for you.

Do you know whether or not she has been able to contact or see the OM? Has her parents been watching her like a hawk?

Well......I havnt heard anything from WW since she sent me a text telling me thanks for the bday flowers.

WW brother now says what she did was wrong and doesn't really want to get involved any further.

I asked him to have WW father call me, which he said he would call and talk to me today, but I'm thinking that's not going to happen.

I gotta think WW would not be seeing OM after exposure, but her parents seem to not hold her accountable, always just saying she's a free spirit.

Then silence is killing me and my mind is racing, wondering if she'll convince them that I'm the bad guy.

You called and told them the truth and all that you know, right?

WW is coming home tomorrow and the anxiety is a little overwhelming.

WW sister told her mother that people get divorced everyday!? Also echoing WW statements about she just doesn't love me anymore. Can you all just reaffirm to me this is fog babble.

Any and all words of wisdom would be more than appreciated!!

Do the 180! Read it again tonight before you go to bed, and in the morning if you have to pick her up from the airport. If she comes down on you. Simply say,

"you were more then happy to freely go and see this guy, to obviously have sex while visiting your parents. So what does it matter if the whole world knows? In other words, if there is nothing to be ashamed of, why be ashamed? You said this is our business, yet you lie and deceive me continually. How can it be my business with you doing that? So apparently, I have no right to try and stop you from skrewing other men, and I have no right to expose your adulterous affair because "Its our business". I get to sit and play the cuckold while you are bouncing around on the POSOM's crank.

Could you please direct me to the 180!

Maybe this answer is in there but do I sleep in the same bed during planA?

tla, I would not do the 180. That is NOT a MB plan. Stick to Plan A. Sleep in your bed. Re-read the carrot and the stick. Do you have that?

I don't believe I do.....if you could provide that I would be very grateful!

And a personal thank you to you Melody.....you have held my hand thru this and helped more than you could know!

You have done a great job, tla!

Here is the link: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2400725&page=1

**edit**

Wow.......WW gonna be home in 3 hours. So any other perspectives? I'm inclined to lay low and see where this goes for a month or two before plan B is put into place.

I gotta few friends in az that want to fly me down to help me get my head straight......was good enuf for her eh? My boss has already suggested short term disability for a few weeks, then go to B. Goin to see my attorney to get some additional advice.

Hoping for the best, planning for the worst.

Sounds to me like you have one heckuva support system going for you, at least as far as friends and work are concerned. Not many get that...especially the short term disability part.

The only advice I'm going to offer is to NOT apologize for exposing her adultery. She's still gonna be mad at you for blowing up her fantasy and plans, but a few days have passed since, so I'm sure she's come down some.

Be strong and confident, not weak and needy. All that will do is undermine all you have accomplished with action and exposure, and that's take control of the situation. Don't give her that control back. Be the man strongly and proudly fighting for her, and if she does blow, say; "I'm doing everything I can to protect and save my marriage." Be a broken record.

Hang in there. Thinking of you and praying for better days for you.

You'll get better advice soon from the vets that actually know what they are doing.

Curious though, you mention jumping to plan B so quickly. Just how much of plan A have you implemented, if any at all (besides exposure of course)? Are you looking to save and rebuild your marriage or are you ready to get out? No problem if you're done, that's your right.

If you're looking to rebuild, then I think you may want to reconsider the timing of your plan B and heading to Arizona.

I do want to rebuild without question. I've read that if the BS is male.....6 months is the timeframe. I don't have any issues with giving it that long.

Would it be wrong or detrimental to take a trip to see friends. Giver her some time alone at home with the kids, do laundry and essentially be a mom. Perhaps helping her come to the realization that our home is a wonderful, warm place to be?

tla, now would be a terrible time to leave town!! You can't work on your marriage if you are not there. So stay there and continue to raise holy HELL in the affair!

If she contacts OM in your home, politely ask her, in front of the kids to take her affair conversation out of your home. Just keep the pressure up and do a great Plan A.

Also, did you expose the affair to the OM's parents?

My question for this would be:

How can you DEMONSTRATE to her that her home is a wonderful, warm place to be (her soft cushion to land when she crashes, and she will) if you're not there for HER???

Now is not the time to abandon her, but to create the environment that you are describing. My friend, you can't do that in Arizona.

You need to watch the movie Fireproof. That is Plan A exemplified.

Fireproof

The trip wouldnt be for another month or so......but I think you're right, my gut tells me to stay put and be here mostly for my boys, but also to show her the new man I'm becoming.

I did expose to OP brother. I told him I planned next to notify his parents, and he said his father was deceased. I kinda stopped there, not really knowing how to address the exposure to an elderly woman who just lost her husband.

I've heard of fireproof.....is that something WW and I could watch together or will she, in her fog, hate something like that?

If you have time right now before she gets home, watch it now. If you can learn something from this, then you can introduce it to her later. WAY later.

Okay, screw the above comment..get the house rightous, neat, and have something ready for her to eat.

Seriously though...plan A her [censored] off tonight, but don't be a wimp or a wuss about it. Maintain the control that YOU have snatched away from her. Be James Bond cool. Believe me, she's going to do everything in her power to make you back down, back off, and give in to her demands and fantasy.

DO NOT DO IT!!!!!

And don't expect anything in return right now. That comes in time. Right now she "hates" you...but not really. Right now you're making an emotional investment on the hope of returns on your investment in the future.

Be the duck...calm on the surface but paddling like hell underneath.