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#2589158 01/23/12 12:52 PM
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I've already done a search and found just a few text messages. Is there a trash on a blackberry? Would there be deleted texts on the sim card? If so, where does one get a sim card reader?

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Celtic Voyager
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3 young adult children


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The info from the website states:
Not compatible with Verizon Phones, Smartphones (BlackBerry, iPhone, Android, etc.), Sprint, Nextel, Alltel Phones

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that's what I'm seeing too regarding it not working with a blackberry - and I'm not sure what is even stored on a Blackberry sim card.

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Have you plugged his phone into your computer and synced it...downloaded all pics etc? I got a tons of useful screenshoots of websites and deleted pics! No texts but found a secret gmail and pic of ow#2!


Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)

He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11

Recovering MB Online!


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trackwary.com
worked the best for me and was only $75 for 3 months
made for the blackberry

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btw - it doesn't recover deleted texts. From what I read, once they are gone they are gone. I don't think the BB has a sims card or a trash bin

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the trackwary thing - will it sent me all sent and received text messages?

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kstockett- sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. Yes, it will give you all that plus incoming calls, outgoing calls, missed calls and my favorite feature is that you can call the phone and turn it into bug and listen to the conversation around them. That is how I knew my WH was with skank the night before I packed his things. Will never be able to listen to the song that was on the radio at the time agian!

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Ok, I downloaded it onto my own blackberry and I liked the way it worked. Then, I got home and after telling my husband I wasn't going to spy on him anymore he found spybubble on his blackberry. He was angry I lied, not angry there was spyware on there, although he said it was illegal as it's a company phone with proprietary information on it. When I had the spyware on there (and listened to the VAR) I found absolutely nothing incriminating. The one thing I won't be able to is his work landline, on which he makes most of his calls. His blackberry is open to me at all times and he leaves it open where I can view it.
He said he is ok with spyware being on there as long as he knows about it. Said he didn't want to go years or decades with me spying on him though.
He is very remorseful, and is doing everything right.
Not sure how to proceed. My gut tells me he is telling the truth but this A has turned me into someone very insecure...

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I think if you are expecting him to be honest and transparent, then you should be as well. His actions are speaking volumes about him being trustworthy. At some point, we have to stop the spying and go with our gut. You say that he is doing everything right and is allowing you access to his phone. That is awesome and a very good sign.
I can understand you being insecure but you need to trust, and verify if you feel that you need to.

Last edited by Rocketqueen; 02/13/12 10:39 AM. Reason: edited
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thank you, exactly what I needed to hear.

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Originally Posted by Rocketqueen
I think if you are expecting him to be honest and transparent, then you should be as well. His actions are speaking volumes about him being trustworthy. At some point, we have to stop the spying and go with our gut. You say that he is doing everything right and is allowing you access to his phone. That is awesome and a very good sign.
I can understand you being insecure but you need to trust, and verify if you feel that you need to.

RQ, with all due respect, that is very bad advice. Spying is not untrustworthy behavior and can never be reliably replaced with one's "gut." Cheating and lying IS untrustworthy behavior; not spying. Radical honesty does not include being "transparent" about spying. Obviously, her spying would be worthless if he knew what she was doing. Radical honesty and the POJA do not apply to spying after there has been an affair.

kstockett, you need to continue to spy as much as you see fit. And NEVER be transparent about it. Spying will not only help restore your trust in him, but will give you great peace of mind. It is not a lack of trust that ruins marriages but a lack of boundaries.

Stopping spying will not make you feel better and will not make you trust him more, it will increase your anxiety and make you trust him LESS. That is not good for your marriage.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by kstockett
He said he is ok with spyware being on there as long as he knows about it. Said he didn't want to go years or decades with me spying on him though.

This is a red flag for me that would motivate me to spy harder, kstockett. Obviously if he knows about it, your spying methods would be rendered useless. Spying is only effective when the target doesn't know. Why would he need to know about it? And why would he have a problem with it? That should set off your red flags. I know it would mine. Would you care if your husband spied on you? If my H was insecure, I would encourage him to spy all he wanted. And I wouldn't want to know how he did it.

You should not cease your spying, kstockett, his attitude gives me pause. People who have nothing to hide, don't hide. And they don't mind others looking.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by Rocketqueen
I think if you are expecting him to be honest and transparent, then you should be as well. His actions are speaking volumes about him being trustworthy.

I really do not think this is appropriate for the *Operation Investigate* forum where folks are looking for snooping help which Dr Harley advocates.

First of all, a WS can have all the good intentions in the world, but if he bumps into or hears from the OW, he will be at great risk for the affair reigniting.

Not only is the A very recent, but do you realize that OW lives in their town and they are still in the process (per k's thread in the recovery forum) of implementing EPs so that they will not run into her as they go to some of the same places?


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by kstockett
He said he is ok with spyware being on there as long as he knows about it. Said he didn't want to go years or decades with me spying on him though.

This is a red flag for me that would motivate me to spy harder, kstockett. Obviously if he knows about it, your spying methods would be rendered useless. Spying is only effective when the target doesn't know. Why would he need to know about it? And why would he have a problem with it? That should set off your red flags. I know it would mine. Would you care if your husband spied on you? If my H was insecure, I would encourage him to spy all he wanted. And I wouldn't want to know how he did it.

You should not cease your spying, kstockett, his attitude gives me pause. People who have nothing to hide, don't hide. And they don't mind others looking.

Please listen to ML, k. Red flags should be going off all over the place when a WS wants to know your spying methods. The fact that OW lives in your town makes even more red flags go off... Do they work near each other? How did they meet again?

Do you have a VAR/GPS in the car?


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they work 100 yards from each other. they met at a business function. I've spied for 3 weeks and nothing.
I have a VAR in the car... nothing... I'll listen again today.
what should I do?

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100 yards? Oh dear. That won't work. Have you thought about moving?

In the meantime, what about GPS? I would do that pronto. Probably on his phone would be best since he could just walk to see her during lunch or whatnot...

Also have you looked for an affair phone?


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ALWAYS keep your spying tactics to yourself ... if not? thats like tipping your hand in poker...

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Originally Posted by kstockett
they work 100 yards from each other. they met at a business function. I've spied for 3 weeks and nothing.
I have a VAR in the car... nothing... I'll listen again today.
what should I do?

I would plan on separating until he leaves that job. Recovery is impossible as long as they continue see each other at work. There is no point in any of this snooping when you already know they see each other.

Your marriage will never recover until there is complete no contact for life. No wonder he doesn't want you to snoop, he is still high on the affair.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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