I nuclear exposed and it's over... still spying though.
Still so hard to think how fast it happened. We talked about boundaries and the slippery slope ad nauseum after my A. That's why I don't get this....
Your affair put him/BH on the slippery slope to affair land. The image of you and OM bumping bumped BH onto the slippery slope.
Your BH was left with the feelings of WW got to have extra fun. It left you ahead in one upmanship big time.
It left BH sad, hurt, angry, mad, and thinking about possible revenge.
Fighting OM he puts OM in the hospital or OM puts BH in, jail, and or both, with BH being sued by the OM in court. Imagine a BH getting sued by the OM because the BH beat the manure out of OM.
Yet the BH can't go to court to seek justice, compensation, revenge, anything to redress that the OM banged his WW.
As Harley's say all are wired to be tempted to have an affair. That is why boundaries need to be placed and maintained.
Your PA gave your BH the excuse to delude himself that it was ok to have a RA. That an RA would even the score. BH re wrote history just the way a WS re writes the history to justify having an affair.
So as your BH was struggling with recovery he paid lip service to the boundaries that you wanted in place for the both of you post your dday.
You realize the importance of boundaries post dday and were needed for the both of you.
Your BH realized that you talk one way and did another.
The Old Actions Speak Louder Then Words.
So BH did as you did and became a WH.
End of story.
You will not be the first or last wife that was unfaithful and her husband had an revenge affair.
Whether WH or WW it almost never fails that when a RA happens they usually never thought that this could happen as a result of their original affair.
Yes there is the WS that wants to slam their BS when they have a RA holds back giving their BS/WS hell because they see themselves as being with sin and can not throw the first stone. Not too many of those kind though.