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I'm cursing myself.
I took the alcohol test and am a problem drinker.
Every stupid thing I've ever done was under the influence.
I am miserable with this truth.
Restarting me: FWS/BS, 46 ~ 8w7 him: FBS/WS, 45 ~ 2w3(probably) M-24y 0329, DDay: Sep 8 2004-2:10p Last C: 3/25/04 - (that I know of....)UPDATED: 6/4/05 - saw her at jail when she got out, & she called again --- H was asked to leave 6/25/05 - H moves back and recovery begins 3/06 - DD2 - I confess all to H; true recovery begins
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OK
Now ..... What? We want you to be healthy & strong. How long since your last drink?
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Joined: Jul 2008
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Restarting,
I am miserable with this truth.
That's the first step to improvement, now join AA if you can't control it yourself.
I can tell you that almost nobody here was nasty with you just for the sake of nastiness, those folks don't last here, please appreciate that you are getting $100 an hour help for free. I can't express to you how much I've been helped.
God Bless Gamma
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Am I reading that right, you had a 17 year affair, from 1987 through 2004? I have been reading your posts because my H is in the retail car business in your area...judging by your timeline, you never had an affair with him. Some of these places, I agree, are ridiculous marriage-killing businesses if the people in them absorb the company morality. Are you still in the business?
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. (Oscar Wilde)
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Joined: Sep 2004
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No. I tried asking Justuss2 to remove that post, via email. I can't correct it with edit. I got virtually all the dates wrong. But the number of OM is correct, as are the number of times.
What makes my past so shameful, is I really didn't care for them, ergo, the prostitute comment.
Restarting me: FWS/BS, 46 ~ 8w7 him: FBS/WS, 45 ~ 2w3(probably) M-24y 0329, DDay: Sep 8 2004-2:10p Last C: 3/25/04 - (that I know of....)UPDATED: 6/4/05 - saw her at jail when she got out, & she called again --- H was asked to leave 6/25/05 - H moves back and recovery begins 3/06 - DD2 - I confess all to H; true recovery begins
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@CWMI. Tampa Bay area.
Also, vis a vis my elevated status in the Co, I got to attend tons of events (sports boxes, galas, etc) where loads of businessmen from multiple industries attended with women other than wives.
Last edited by Restarting; 03/28/12 10:46 AM.
Restarting me: FWS/BS, 46 ~ 8w7 him: FBS/WS, 45 ~ 2w3(probably) M-24y 0329, DDay: Sep 8 2004-2:10p Last C: 3/25/04 - (that I know of....)UPDATED: 6/4/05 - saw her at jail when she got out, & she called again --- H was asked to leave 6/25/05 - H moves back and recovery begins 3/06 - DD2 - I confess all to H; true recovery begins
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Sounds like you need a new line of work.
Maybe you would have been viewed differently if you had acted differently from the beginning, but where things are now it will be hard for you to heal from both the alcohol and the adultery if, everywhere you go, you bump into people who still see you the way you were.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Joined: Sep 2004
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Neak,
Being the victim of betrayal was devastating. It changed my perspective completely. It is not a pain I would ever, ever deliver to anyone ever again.
I changed my whole life, am now returned to school for a different career, and have moved across the country twice in the past 4 years to "restart". I have absolutely no desire to ever return to FL, especially not Tampa.
I never wish to run into anyone who knew me as a POS. I don't need them to remind me and I have my own unbidden moments when I wallow in shame all by myself. I have a ton of regrets that visit even when there's nothing obvious to remind me.
Restarting me: FWS/BS, 46 ~ 8w7 him: FBS/WS, 45 ~ 2w3(probably) M-24y 0329, DDay: Sep 8 2004-2:10p Last C: 3/25/04 - (that I know of....)UPDATED: 6/4/05 - saw her at jail when she got out, & she called again --- H was asked to leave 6/25/05 - H moves back and recovery begins 3/06 - DD2 - I confess all to H; true recovery begins
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I'm glad that you aren't still in the same job and physical area as before. It makes it so much easier to do the work that needs to be done.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. ~ English proverb Neak's Story
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