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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 68
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 68 |
D Day was nearly 3 years ago. I've been divorced for 18 months. I haven't seen XWH since the divorce was final. I don't miss him. I've moved on and happily so.
BUT, at least several times a week, sometimes every day, out of the blue, I am hit with the thought, "I can't believe it!" At the time of discovery my reaction was that I couldn't believe in a hundred million billion trillion years that my husband would ever cheat on me; that he would throw away his wife, his children, his life in favor of someone else. Plus, he traded down ... waaaaay down when he chose her. While, as I said, my life is good now, that one thought and its impact hasn't lessened over time.
Anyone else?
BW (me) - 57
XWH-54
2DSs- 16 and 17
Married 16 years
D-Day - 8/21/09
XWH moved out 10-9-09
Divorce Finalized 11-19-10
XWH moved 4 states away (on 11/22/10) to live with OW.
XWH married OW 1-15-11
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,428
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,428 |
Wow Reva, thanks for posting this. That is part of my hurt right now, that I keep thinking I can't believe he would do this. Nor that he would throw, me, my family, our brilliant friends, our memories, photos, mementoes, etc to the rubbish tip. But he has.
All waywards do in one way or another.
The betrayed rarely expects it.
Glad to hear you are doing well.
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
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Posts: 1,820 |
It's a illogical act that doesn't make sense
no matter how many times we try to find that answer.
It's a insecure move by a person who bails and only thinks of himself or herself.
The karma bus usually puts things into perspective.
Living a better life is true success.
Sooner or later you will accept your x as the man he is now, he isn't the man you married that man is gone replaced by a lesser version of himself.
Maybe you got lucky.
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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