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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 94
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 94 |
I am a very proud father of 4 kids. (I have done a number of things that caused my wife to seperate). I'd love to hear from anyone about how I can be the best Dad I can be and how I can help my kids go through my seperation. We havn't told our kids yet and I was "kicked" out 3 days ago. (I have stuff I HAVE to work on). But the kids are starting to ask why Daddy doesn't sleep next to Mommy anymore and is always working late and it breaks my heart for them. I get to see them tonight though and can't wait. They are my life.
Married in 2004
Seperated (but living at home) on May 15, 2012
3 Kids with my wife
1 kid before I met my wife
Her EA 11/2011
I am in recovery for a sexual addiction
(pornography and talking to other girls inappropriately)
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Joined: Feb 2011
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You are in a hard place if you left the house. I have 4 boys and the mom walked out on them a year ago. Just be the best dad you can be and make sure to spend time with them. Stay off of the phone and make sure you give all of your attention to the kids. Good luck.
Me 37
WW 37
Married 14 years
4 boys 10,8,6,3
exposure Day 2/18/11
A started 11/2010
Divorced 7/21/2011
Has it been a year already??
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 94
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Posts: 94 |
Thanks. Its been tought. I know I have a legal right to be at the house, but ideally I want to show my wife I respect her and want to make this work somehow in the end. I get to see them tonight and you better believe they will have 100% of my attention all night and throughout tommorow. Thats a good MB question....If I caused the harm to my wife and she asked me to leave because she needed a seperation and I ultimatly want to fix me....Am I doing the right thing by honoring her wishes? Or should I make myself stay at the house and force her out? (I feel like if we get divorced I should have just stayed because I love the house...but I think if I didn't give her the seperation she wants she would have been extremely mad and had no chance at reconcilation).
Married in 2004
Seperated (but living at home) on May 15, 2012
3 Kids with my wife
1 kid before I met my wife
Her EA 11/2011
I am in recovery for a sexual addiction
(pornography and talking to other girls inappropriately)
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 94
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 94 |
Lostman101...Our kids are about the same ages. Mine are 8,7 (girls) and almost 6 and 3 (boys). I'd love to talk through parenting advice with you if you ever wanted. Our situation are slightly different. I let my wife and family down with my actions and stuff I need to work out, but the kids feel the same impact.
Married in 2004
Seperated (but living at home) on May 15, 2012
3 Kids with my wife
1 kid before I met my wife
Her EA 11/2011
I am in recovery for a sexual addiction
(pornography and talking to other girls inappropriately)
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,094
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Thats a good MB question....If I caused the harm to my wife and she asked me to leave because she needed a seperation and I ultimatly want to fix me....Am I doing the right thing by honoring her wishes? Or should I make myself stay at the house and force her out? (I feel like if we get divorced I should have just stayed because I love the house...but I think if I didn't give her the seperation she wants she would have been extremely mad and had no chance at reconcilation). MB advice is to not "move out". You are letting your wife down and your kids in doing so. They need you there; families support each other through whatever "work" they need to do. To your question-- why don't you try some honesty? Upfront, open, good old fashioned honesty. All the ambiguity is what damages kids. Not being able to count on their parents for the security of the truth is what damages kids perception of reality. And try sticking to one thread. This is NOT UN related to your original situation. optimism
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
What are you addicted to, supposedly?
Stay home,
Tell the truth to your kids,
Fight for your marriage
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
Quit starting up threads all over the forum and its various subboards. It is extremely confusing, and nobody can give you real help.
And knock off the elusive "fighting an addiction" signature. Write the whole truth in your signature:
* She had an affair
* I had an affair
* I am addicted to -- (what, exactly?)
When your story is sliced up into twenty pieces nobody knows the truth about you, and therefore we can't advise you.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
(I have stuff I HAVE to work on). "work on" is code for: DO NOTHING
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
(I have stuff I HAVE to work on). "work on" is code for: DO NOTHINGInstead of doing nothing, here is something you can do: Go back to your earlier threads. Answer all the questions that were asked of you. Do all the things that were suggested.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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(I have stuff I HAVE to work on). "work on" is code for: DO NOTHINGInstead of doing nothing, here is something you can do: Go back to your earlier threads. Answer all the questions that were asked of you. Do all the things that were suggested. Second that. Please ask the MODS to merge your threads and stick to ONE thread.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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