bestrong, does that tramp have a facebook page? If so, I would expose the affair to her family and friends via private message. Just tell them she is having an affair with your husband and you felt others should know what kind of person she is so they can protect their marriages. Everyone should know she is doing it with a married man and helped break up his marriage.

So do you feel like you're ok with communicating with him?

You don't need an IM?

Yes I am ok communicating with him - I am not hurt anymore by him but this was a little much and unexpected

Everyone in her family knows he is married - and he has introduced her to his family this weekend - they also don't seem to care as we are separated 3 years - I just don't understand the reason her brought her and I kept looking at her face trying to make out some kind of shame or something but there was nothing at all

When you say everyone in her family knows he is married, how do you know this? You told them all? Because unless you told them, all they know are the lies told to them by the liars. The story was probably spun.

Your WH and OW are trying to go on as if everything is okay, and they have done nothing wrong. That everyone needs to accept them, including you.

My WH brought OW with him when he would come pick up our boys. I don't know if he still does, since I am in Plan B, and I don't look out of the door, or ask the boys.

Your children are old enough to walk out to the car by themselves, and there is no need for even your WH to step foot on your property. That's what happens here. My WH calls the home, DS12 answers, and then they walk out the door, and when they come home, they wait for him to drive away before they knock on the door.

I think you should get an IM. You probably don't realize how much it is affecting you since you are in it.

MelodyLane, why did I know you would ask me that question - in the moment I typed it

And you are correct - I don't know what her family has been told - I know that when he is paying maintenance to me it comes from his GF families account ( I am presuming parents or grandparents) - what he told them to get them to do it - no idea - I am guessing he is hiding his own account leading up to the divorce next year
- I know that the GF daughter calls him dad


And his own family know they met in 2010 - they don't know that I am believing it was much earlier then that

Scotland, I will talk to him tomorrow and ask him not to bring her anymore - if he doesn't respect that I will go your way and let the kids go out by themselves from now on.

So you never exposed his affairs?

You also were advised to go into Plan B along time ago, but never did. Why not?

Your WH traveled for his work and it was never discussed to have him quit traveling.

You've been in Plan C for 3 years. I'm just wondering why you never followed the MB plans?

BrainHurts, how can you expose something where you are not even sure yourself that it really happened.

How many times in the last 3 years did I feel I didn't belong on a forum about infidelity.

How can I expose something if I don't know if it really happened, with whom and when

It took all my strength to let go of the - "I need to find proof that he cheated on me before he left me". And I am hoping not to offend anyone but not knowing is worse then being cheated on. I have experienced both and there is no comparison - if you don't even trust your own feelings and judgement anymore - it can't get much worse. It took me 2 years to feel somehow normal again.

What has been the worst about the not knowing for sure and having all these clues from 2003 right before we got married on and off right till the end in 2009 when he left - it destroyed every memory I ever had - when I now think about my wedding day I feel it was fake, every picture I look at feels fake. There is nothing left - 8 years of nothing - at least with a time-line I would have had something left to remember.

I spoke to his sister earlier this year for the first time about some things that happened years ago - about texts I found in 2004 - and no I don't know if he had an affair at the time - I never said to her that he cheated - I just told her what I saw. I guess I just had to get it off my chest.

I also don't feel comfortable to call his current girlfriend the OW. Even though she technically is as we are still married but what I wanted to really find out was if he left me for her. I found a picture she had posted online last year from a party back in 2009 when we were still together and it looks like my husband in the background but it's too dark to be 100% sure. I tried everything to get it enhanced but nothing. After that I stopped searching - I guess this is something what I have to live with.
All I want is a divorce and not too much contact with him and until yesterday there wasn't any problem. he is still playing his little mind games as always but I can handle them better now then 3 years ago.

But her in front of my door yesterday was too much - I wasn't jealous which is good but I feel like she invaded my privacy - this is my home.

So can you get an IM so you don't have to deal with him at all?