I guess I am making the transition from the Affair board to over here.
My background:
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2648414#Post2648414


So far my WW is ok with us going ahead with our D. She states that she will go along with whatever I need to do.

I'm still hurt by having to go thru this though. I have my ups & downs. Sometimes I am sad about what has happened & other times I am mad about what she has done to our marriage & lives.

I take 50% responsibility for what happened to us. She takes the other 50% plus 100% of the affair.

Right now we are 3 weeks out from DDay (July 15th).

Last Sunday I found that she has registered to the dating website that she used when I met her.

She did this 2 weeks after DDay. It hard from me to understand why someone would do this so fast.


I suppose that she is receiving & sending emails from guys thru this site all day, everyday.
I can imagine that she is doing this at her work (nurse at major hospital) all thru the day & when she get home (our home...the home I am not living in right now.)
I guess it must feel good to have so many guys come on to you without really knowing you.

I know that she has a webcam set up on her computer in our house.
I guess the next step is for her to talk to one on the phone & then to actually meet one someday.

It hurts me to know that someone I have been with for 8 years is doing this so quickly.

Sorry for the rant. This has been the most difficult thing I have ever been thru in my life.
j

Jeff,

I'm sorry to see you here, the D forum isn't a fun place to be! I took a look at your previous thread and it looks like you have been through a special zone of hell in the last three weeks. Are you determined on getting a divorce or are you still in exposure and marriage saving territory? Hope you're doing ok.

Travis

See my post on the SA forum:

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2653273#Post2653273

Jeff,

Sorry i just had to chime in,this is only my opinion,and what i went through.
You can read my story on SA,as it might give you some idea of the situation i went through,and on this forum.
What i can say about this and what a WW is thinking is that when their mind is made up that the grass is greener on the other side that they cant turn back,i know some disagree,but i have seen it first hand,ive done all i could to the point i was emotionally drained,my mind was racing 24/7 to try and understand what went wrong,as i suspected WW had been planning this for a very long time,she had all the ducks in a row and presented her case at the hearing with every piece of documentation.
If divorce is what you need to do,please get everything handled now,docs,monies,lawyer,no rock unturned,present everything and anything to the lawyer,i learned the hard way,and she was able to swing a majority on her side.
But i will tell you this,its a nice feeling to finally be rid of someone that all they were there for was a meal ticket,and they will keep searching for another when the others run dry.

I agree, it's hard, but the alternative is to live with constant hurt and abuse.

I'm divorcing my wife, I've spent two years trying to get her to see how she hurts me with other relationships, and I've come to the conclusion that it's either living in an abusive relationship (and probably another affair) or divorce.

Try to put it behind you. Take care of your business and move on. Hopefully you will meet someone new some day that genuinely (or knows how to) care for you.

I keep telling myself that it's better on the other side and while it's hard to see, it's true. My brother, my boss, and a friend of mine all remarried after their wayward wives left, and each of them has a wonderful girl that is happy to be with them and treats them well.

Even if we don't remarry, there are far better days ahead, days without the constant emotional drain and abuse.

Jeff et al,
My heart does hurt for all of you. I cant begin to think of the pain you have. In my case their was no infidelity. My wife simply gave up and moved in with her parents.
I know the pain i feel on a daily basis and its been about 20 months. I have our son alot and i guess that connection may be what triggers it so much.
my prayers are with you all.

All I can offer is to focus on your own health.
If your ww wants to live as a slut that is her choice.
How you choose to live is up to you.