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In case it might strengthen your legal position, tell your lawyer. He / she can investigate. This is my advice. Why were you looking at the county websiter though? Has there been any news on the job search? Have you contacted your HR to ask that your WH be blocked from emailing you? Have you had any more dealings with your friends/family telling you things that you shouldn't know? How are you closing up the holes so you can be in Plan B?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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In case it might strengthen your legal position, tell your lawyer. He / she can investigate. This is my advice. Why were you looking at the county websiter though? Has there been any news on the job search? Have you contacted your HR to ask that your WH be blocked from emailing you? Have you had any more dealings with your friends/family telling you things that you shouldn't know? How are you closing up the holes so you can be in Plan B? I mentioned that I was getting updates on my D proceedings online. I haven't blocked him from work email yet, as I have other matters that I'm dealing with HR right now. I think I might be able to do this on my own, but still learning the new email system. No luck on any jobs.... Another Plan B plug: I have let all family & friends know that I do not wish to hear ANYTHING about WH, what he's doing, where he's been, anything he has said, etc. So far, everybody seems to be on board with my request. We will see.... I might have to tell them again or interrupt should anybody forget. I am definitely feeling stronger and feel that I'm heading in the right direction....taking care of me and forgetting all of the other crap that I don't need to be worrying about right now. My focus right now is myself and my healing.
Last edited by starfish75; 08/14/12 12:12 PM.
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I haven't blocked him from work email yet, as I have other matters that I'm dealing with HR right now. I think I might be able to do this on my own, but still learning the new email system. A priority IMO because as soon as he realises f&f are blocking him, he will redouble his efforts in attacking this (very large) hole. Plan B tip? Never be afraid to ask for help. Or demand it. At the end of the day, as a fellow employee his unwelcome messages constitute sexual harrassment. Your company will know what to do. Or should know. Don't be shy in asking for help!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I've been doing really well this week so far. I've painted my toenails twice to go with my outfits for the week!  Also, I've made it clear to everyone that I do not want or need to hear anything about WH: what he's doing, where he's been, who he is staying with, etc. I'm receiving positive feedback and people agree and have made a conscious effort to protect me and keep me safe with NC! No contact or knowledge = No new hurts!
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Glad to hear you are doing well, starfish! I've been thinking about you.
Last edited by Rocketqueen; 08/22/12 10:16 PM.
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Sounds like you're heading in the right direction. And the more people see of the strong you, the more they will see that this is working for you. Just imagine how much better your PB would be without the holes.
Speaking of holes, how are things? Have you started any new hobbies?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I've started looking for new places to live... I need a fresh start for the new me! I'm going to start looking for new bedroom furniture for my new place. I've also been supporting and being a major support to a female coworker/dear friend who is going through a personal family crisis (not infidelity) matter. It has definitely helped to take the focus off of my own bs and I feel so good giving back and having the strength to give back! I'm still doing my Pilates and hope to add back yoga soon! Doing yard work, gardening, cooking again... I'm feeling good right now. I know I'll still have my ups and downs, but I am getting to know myself again and it feels so good!
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Thank you for all of the kind responses and care... I've missed you all and wanted to give an update. I haven't disappeared... I'm still here! Sometimes I feel that I could write a book about everything... lol!
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Hey starfish. I am glad to see you back!! You sound good!! Good to see you taking care of yourself. New place to live! New bedroom furniture!!! WOW, you are taking your life back girl!! I am glad you updated us. Keep on keeping on!!!
BS Me 47,WH 49
DS's x3 17, 10, 7
Multiple D-Days
No disclosure by WH. No EP's, no transparency, no guilt or remorse either.
Plan C DOES NOT WORK!
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Hey there starfish. You haven't been on in a while. How are you doing? Did you move? Did you burn your old bedroom furniture?!! hehe. I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself.
BS Me 47,WH 49
DS's x3 17, 10, 7
Multiple D-Days
No disclosure by WH. No EP's, no transparency, no guilt or remorse either.
Plan C DOES NOT WORK!
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Starfish, I hope you are doing ok. We haven't heard from you in a while. I wish you would check in with us.
BS Me 47,WH 49
DS's x3 17, 10, 7
Multiple D-Days
No disclosure by WH. No EP's, no transparency, no guilt or remorse either.
Plan C DOES NOT WORK!
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Star it would be nice to know how you are, hopefully you are reading the threads and you can give us an update
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Hello everyone!!!! I just logged in today and saw your messages... Thank you!
I had mediation on Oct. 5th. Just signed the marital settlement agreement and mailed to my attorney, so the judge should finalize things within the next couple of weeks! Whoo hoo! Praise the Lord!
I am moving to my new place with the dogs and cat. Renting for awhile... looking forward to relaxing without any major house responsibilities! I have a sinus infection... Can't believe I am just now getting sick...
I'm doing great though... looking forward to a bright new future!
I am thankful everyday for all of you and your support when I needed it the most in those dark days. I hope all of you are doing well! Any new updates?
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Hello everyone!!!! I just logged in today and saw your messages... Thank you!
I had mediation on Oct. 5th. Just signed the marital settlement agreement and mailed to my attorney, so the judge should finalize things within the next couple of weeks! Whoo hoo! Praise the Lord!
I am moving to my new place with the dogs and cat. Renting for awhile... looking forward to relaxing without any major house responsibilities! I have a sinus infection... Can't believe I am just now getting sick...
I'm doing great though... looking forward to a bright new future!
I am thankful everyday for all of you and your support when I needed it the most in those dark days. I hope all of you are doing well! Any new updates? Thanks for the update and glad you're doing so well. Are you still at your job? How has the NC been with your STXWH?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I would love to hear how you found yourself and got to this strong place. You really do sound great. What does your bright new future look like? I hope you check in more. Have a great day.
BS Me 47,WH 49
DS's x3 17, 10, 7
Multiple D-Days
No disclosure by WH. No EP's, no transparency, no guilt or remorse either.
Plan C DOES NOT WORK!
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