Today is my 23 anniversary. Doing just fine. Actually got a text from OW#2 now ex husband this past Monday saying he knows I am having a hard time this week. Took me a while to figure out what he was talking. I had forgotten that my anniversay was coming up. Told him that I was fine and that it was just another day and that I meant it. This is the 3rd anniversary since he left me and I am actually past it. Don't hear from WH and I just leave him alone.

OW#2 now ex husband checks on me from time to time to see how I am doing. Found out from him that their divorce was final before Thanksgiving and he got EVERYTHING! She defaulted because he had evidence that she had embezzled about $30,000 from his company and he told her to either give him everything or she would go to jail. She now has nothing and has a lot of bills. Oh well, that is her fault. He let me know that now all of the kids hate my WH and that his ex talks about drinking all the time. People are so stupid. They destroy their lives and their families for nothing and in the end is never lasts and they end up with nothing but a lot of regrets.

DD21 has now moved back in while her boyfriend goes overseas for 6 months. She is now 31 weeks pregnant and looks good. She has everything she needs except for a crib and a stroller which I am going to buy sometime next month. When DD21's boyfriend returns they are getting married. He is going to be sending her money plus she has access to his account.

Everything here is fine and we are doing just fine.

Isn't it weird how we suddenly get to that "it is what it is" acceptance place? I had my 26th anniversary around Thanksgiving, the 3rd without WH, and we're still not D.

D!ck told DD that he's living with a coworker. Guess Bimbo got sick of his stalling, too. Now she looks like the "victim" who took in this married man, got engaged to him, took him for all he could get his hands on (she probably doesn't tell people this), and had no choice but to send him on his way when his nasty wife kept holding up the D.

Our WHs are so, so stupid and short sited. Comes a time that their house of cards comes tumbling down. And their "go to" rock -- us -- just don't give a damn anymore.

We read about this, yet never see that happening to us. Then it does. Like they say -- if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. Like you -- I'm where I'm suppose to be. In my house. With my kids. Having not lost one person during this ordeal except WH.

WH is alone. Actually, out of the blue, he dropped by to see his Dad last week. Stayed about 5 minutes. Asked about his surgery and checked out the refrigerator like he used to. He's awkward around his own Dad. Just goes to show you the hard work our WH will need to do to just get back the title of a "decent" human being.

I'd hate to be them. They have dug themselves such a deep, deep hole. Like you, we stood by them and would have walked through fire for them during the first few years. But that has passed for me. I will not die for him anymore. I will not.

I am with you all the way, HH. I am finally in a good place right now and things are looking up for me. I have an excellent job making great money and I have my family and friends. My WH has no job except working for his brother and they aren't working right now because of the snow and cold in Idaho. My BIL is a roofer. So WH can't work. WH went from being a good man with a good paying job, a great wife whowould do anything for him and did, a nice home, and beautiful daughters. He now has no money, really no job, no home of his own, and no family(eventhough you have brothers and sisters, your primary family is your wife and children). He has nothing and one day he is going to wake up and realize how stupid he was and I won't be there to pick up the pieces. He even lost all his friends here because of what he did. I know that I am in a lot better place than he is. I have my respect and I actually not only love myself but like myself too. I know you feel the same way about yourself. Our WH are so stupid and I am so glad I am not them because I would have to hate me. I also am glad I don't know what goes on in their minds because I would be just as sick as they are. I like being me.

WH is now getting along with his mom after all these years. He couldn't stand her and always called her all kinds of names. He should remember this when dealing with DD21 because she hates him so much and wants nothing to do with him and he actually deserves it, his mother didn't. If he didn't like the way his mother was then the only person he had to blame was his father because we found out after my WH got caught that his father was a womanizer and used WH and his brother to cover up his affairs. WH didn't know this until he got caught. My MIL finally had it and left him and I think it was because my FIL had either sexually molested my younger SIL or had tried to, she won't say. He had already sexually molested my older SIL. What is so bad is that my WH still thinks a lot of his father who was a piece of crap. By the way, my FIL was killed before I ever came around and my WH has found all this out since we got married.

DD21 is doing better now. She brought all her stuff back a week ago and we both had a good laugh over the fact her dad's stuff made it back home eventhough he didn't. So in the end I got all his stuff anyway!

Just an update. DD21 just gave birth to my 1st grandchild, a little girl, on 3/14/2012. She is just beautiful. My mother has been here for almost 2 weeks now.

DD21 refused to let her father know about the birth and I respected her wishes. If WH knows about the birth he hasn't tried to contact us. I'm betting he does know. I have had no contact with him of any kind for so long that I have no idea the last time I heard from him. It has been nice and quiet.

Isn't that fun, a granddaughter born on Pi Day!

Congratulations on the birth of your grandchild!

Congratulations Grandma! Grandbabies are the BEST!

Congrats Phoenix. Life goes on without him and it's his loss.

Funny, KarmaRose... pi day. And, unfortunately, D!ck's bday, too.

Took my Mom back home last week. DD21 and I drove my Mom back home and the baby was a great traveler. Got back home yesterday. Had fun in Tennessee with my parents.

My Dad got to see his first great granddaughter/grandchild. He had to put her on a horse. My Dad said that the first time he held her he saw WH. She does have his nose but she looks like me and DD21.

Have already made reservations to fly to Tennessee in May for the annual Cajun Fest at my favorite vineyard. I usually drive but this year I am flying. Then I will be going back there again for 2 weeks in July when my cousin and her 2 daughters come over to visit from Scotland.

Will definitely be filing for divorce this May. I will have the money plus I'll have everything paid off except the house. It will finally be over sometime in June. I can't wait.

So glad you had a nice trip.

I've got an update for everyone. I went to the cajun fest in Tennesse in May and now I just back from Tennessee again after being there for 2 weeks with my parents and my cousin with her 2 daughters from Scotland. I had so much fun.

When I got back from Tennessee back on June 1st I went and saw a lawyer. I hired him at a BIG price because he was recommended by a friend whose husband is a lawyer. My lawyer is the best here for divorces. I had asked my H if he wanted a divorce though I don't want one and he told me that maybe I should go ahead since he didn't plan on coming back to Florida. He is so wishy-washy. When I came home I pulled my phone off of his account and got my own account and didn't tell him because I knew he would have a fit and want me to pay for the bill that is paid for one month in advance. While I was in Tennessee this time he text me because he found out and was livid. He was so mean and ugly. i tried to explain that he needed to get the bill adjusted and it would show just him and DD24 on the bill and that I wasn't going to pay it. He threatened to turn the electric off but that didn't work because the electric company was waiting the next day for his call because I put in an application before he called so it stayed on. What was bad was that our DD21 and our 3 1/2 month old granddaughter were in the house. Looks like he lost. He is threatening to go after 1/2 the equity in the house and half of my retirement. Told him to get a lawyer(he doesn't know I have one). H doesn't know that I have all the 1099 from when he cashed in his retirement and from the money he got from the BP oil spill. My lawyer says he owes me half of all that. Plus he has to get a lawyer and contest the divorce and that will cost him a lot more than an uncontested one. He doesn't have the money for an uncontested divorce never mind a contested one. My lawyer thinks that my H will just sign the papers and so does my therapist.

On a good note. My life is very good. I'm going a girls' trip with my friends at work and we are going to go white water rafting down the ocoee river and stay in a large cabin on the same river. We'll be gone for for 4 days next month. Then in October our annual Halloween party. We are having a theme this year and it is "Pimps and Ho's". Haven't decided what to go as, yet. And then the last thing I have planned so far is to go to St. Augustine, FL for 4 days in November.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Good to hear from you, Phoenix. Just have to throw out there that you'd be a lot happier if you never let WH have contact with you at all.

Finally got everything done and filed for divorce on Aug 9th. Summons was sent out on same day. Haven't heard anything yet so don't know if WH has gotten anything. My lawyer said I would heat about it first, but I have him blocked from everything and so do the girls.

Two days before I filed WH was being ugly again and threatening and I finally sent him an email saying that while I was sorry that everything had come to this that I didn't deserve to be talked to like he was doing and that I was blocking him from everything. WH emailed from a different account saying he wouldn't sign anything that wouldn't give him half of the equity in the house and half of my retirement. I emailed him back and finally told him to get a lawyer because I had one and that I was entitled to half of his retirement that he cashed in and half of the BP money he got. He emailed me back saying he did. I blocked that email address too. My DD 22 told me she didn't believe him when he said he had a lawyer. She thinks he is blowing smoke up my butt and so do I but we will have to wait and see. I am in for the long haul and won't give on anything.

WH hasn't been his paying his bills and cannot pay for a lawyer. I know he will have to come up with a large chunk of money to get one to contest the divorce and he lives in Idaho and I live in Florida. Personally I think he will just sign the papers to get it over with. I am not asking for anything but the house I am paying for, my car and my retirement and bills. WH has a retirement through another company and I don't want that or his truck or his car and I don't want the retirement he is getting from the state of Idaho where he is now working. I just want to get this over with and move on and hope he does too.

Phoenix, good to hear from you!

Also very good to hear you've gone dark at last. You'll be happiest if you do everything in your power to stay dark, even if it means completely changing your email address and all other contact information (which I highly recommend).

The longer you go without his drama in your life, the stronger you'll be. Good for you!

Finally found out that WH was served. He called my lawyer this past Monday and wanted to talk to him but was told no because it would a conflict of interest but my WH could write to my lawyer and email or fax it to him. WH was given the email address and fax number. They have not heard from him or a lawyer representing him since then. Won't know when he was served until the sheriff's office lets us know. If Wh was served this past Monday then he has 20 days or until September 9th to file anythin gor it goes through automatically. I hope WH does nothing but I don't see that happening. He will probably wait until the last moment to contest it. WH doesn't have the money to get a lawyer and then he would have to buy a ticket to fly here for the mediation and pay for his share of that and I'm still not going to give him 1/2 of my retirement and WH is not guaranteed to get half of it anyway especially since he cashed in his retirement from one company and he has another one that I found out about several weeks ago(I am wondering if he still remembers about that one).

On a good note, being a grandmother isn't so bad. My granddaughter is almost 5 1/2 months old and is as fun as heck. Right now she is either constantly moving and babbling or sleeping. DD 22 is back in school trying to finish her degree. Now if I can just get DD 24 back in school.

Still hoping and praying.

Stop talking to your husband in divorce

Start a thread in the Divorce section of the forums so you can get help during the divorce.

Out of curiosity, what did the lawyer charge you as a retainer?

I haven't talked to my husband in a while. I got all my info from my lawyer's legal assistant. I have cut all contact with my WH. It cost me $5000 for my lawyer for an uncontested divorce. He is one of the best and was highly recommended by a friend of mine whose husband is a lawyer. So far we haven't heard anything from him and he has 3 more days left to file a rebuttal.

Hope all goes well fir you PR.