oh home, i really wasn't making fun of you. i have posted several of my own WHs comments on this thread. as CP said, seeing what other WSs say, and how very much alike they are, is a bit of a help, really. nearly every BS that arrives here thinks their WS is a unique case (me too). they aren't. they are all eerily the same in word and deed. i'm very sorry that i hurt your feelings.

Home, I am sorry that my reply to Letty upset and offended you.

I really am.

I responded unaware of your own sitch, having not read your thread. I responded to the post as this entire thread is about crazy statements waywards make. I have posted my share of what WH said. I found this thread helped me understand I was not the only one on the receiving end of cruelty and the black humour helped me process a devestating betrayal.

I hope you keep posting. MB and the posters here have helped heal me. I would never belittle a BS's grief; this thread is designed to highlight a WS's fog. That is what I responded to.

Yes, that is the truth. We are lead to believe we are special too, to slay the dragons,(they do exist in the minds realm of imagination), and our union is special and different

But on this site, much of what we should be battling for in our marriage, is revealed, and also the battles within ourselves and our assumptions also

Always learning, and reaching up, with our feet firmly on the ground

It surely stretchs the mind and builds character, (even after it seems to make you into a character)

So getting blamed for other peoples actions is so much part of this thread, and the fertilizer that they shovel

Stick around things will get better

Today...:-)

WS: Now you're blackmailing me..!
BS: Bla.. WHAT? Huh? How..?
WS: You're saying I have to leave home if I don't stop my affair...
BS: <speechless>

Home, things will get better! Hugs to you. I remember what it is to feel raw and alone in this.

P.S have you read the rest of this thread? It truly does help to see how similarly they all think/speak act. It is not the true version of them, but the new addict.

While there is a comedy value (either laugh or cry, right?) The main point of this thread is to show BSs to not listen too closely, and hence not get gaslighted.

A very important lesson.

Paraphrased:

I had an affair because my parents made me get married.

I had an affair because my husband does not like math.

Verbatim:

"I do not have poor boundaries around men."

Oh yeah, I could write volumes in this thread. Some of the best examples from my story are all about the children. That's where the delusions of grandeur really ran deep.

"Leave them out of it. This has nothing to do with the children, this is about YOU and ME."

Um, no, this is about YOU and the impact of YOUR behavior and terrible choices on your husband, your children, and our family...

At one point I asked her whether or not she even wanted to be a mother (in light of the fact that she was trying to relive her early 20's by having an affair with a 19 year old). She went ballistic.

"How dare you question my commitment as a mother! I would never question your willingness to be a dad!"

And her ever present strategy to turn it around and place the blame on me.

"You've already let your children down, they just don't know it yet."

Translation: Something I (BH) did in the past, or may do in the future is 100X more damaging to our children than anything I'm doing. The pain our children will experience is all your fault.

"You underestimate our children. Our children are strong. They will be totally fine."

"Look at your sister's kids. They're much happier now than they were before." (My sister had and A and divorced her BH to marry her DD's gymnastics coach).

"Our kids will be far more damaged growing up in a bad marriage (the one I've totally reinvented in my mind) than a divorce."

Too funny. Yeah, I never got that memo either for some reason!?

From the the It's All Your Fault category...

"I think I was pretty much perfect when I married you."

"You set the tone in our marriage, I just followed along."

In other words, anything I've ever done wrong in the course of our 18 year marriage, including the A I just had with a 19 year old child, is entirely YOUR fault...

"You put me in this position. It' not my fault that I was vulnerable to an affair."

1. Why not she come live with us with her 2 children so that our D can have brothers?
2. I told you about her abortion (after a broken condom) to make you feel sorry for her
Now beat THOSE!

Catching up on this thread again, and wondering why
Why did I allow myself to go through it?
Lol what was I trying to prove?

I will never marry again, but I still believe in marriage, and just like this site has shown, it can be awesome

The crazy things that come out of waywards mouths can only be topped by us who may or may not buy into the bullcrap

We should have a bull-o-meter installed when we get married, with electric shock prods also.
But then where would the challenge of using our brains to control ourselves go?

Yeah peeps are crazy, know that goin in, so you won't be surprised on the way out

Wishing the best for all who have been let down and lied to by foolish Aliens. Remembering the words I heard some time ago, probably from this site..

" When you have been screwed over and victimized by others, and have been dragged through he'll on earth, there is still something you can be thankful for...that your not them"

Truly that IS the consolation prize

"He has really been able to show the love of Jesus to me. He's so gentle and kind."

(I am assuming OM did not tell her to "go and sin no more.")

Upon D-day1:
WH: "I asked the Dolly to have a threesome with us. She said no, she couldn't stand to share me with another woman."
Oh, really?!? Unlike she was already doing?!?...


After D-day2, when the Dolly was sending me endless hateful, vitriolic emails one night, including threatening my life, WH said,
"OMG! It's 2 am her time! I can't believe she's not asleep! SHE MUST BE SO UPSET!!"

Another one:
The Dolly: "Tell your wife not to email me at work. It is compromising my professionalism."
BW (me) (in email to her work address): "YOU compromised your professionalism by having an A with a married client. Unless you mean a different profession?"
The Dolly (text to WH): "I don't appreciate being called a hooker! I'm getting a lawyer."
WH (to me): "YOU HAVE INSULTED (the Dolly). YOU OWE HER AN APOLOGY."

And another:
WH to me, one day after d-day2: "Yes, I lied to you for the last 5 months, but you should be happy I didn't leave you for (the Dolly.)"
Thanks for the favour...

"I decided our marriage was over on 1/18, so the new relationship I started on 1/21 had nothing to do with me telling you I wanted a divorce on 4/10."

"I am so sorry that my actions have hurt you. My intention wasn't to cause you pain, it was a consequence."

Once upon a fight about my H's emotional involvement with a close friend of mine, he had phone conversations with her (while lying to me after assurances that there'd be no more contact). He said, "I told her that things would go back to normal after you got over it".

I guess one lying, disloyal person is not enough in my life.

Oh yeah, lol "It's a consequence", that's rich.

Yeah those waywards are strange birds

If there was a contest that one gets a nomination

I humbly submit that "Let's have a threesome", "Let's have her move in so the kids can get to know her", and "Why can't you trust me?" outdo mine.

It's the consequence comment that gets me

They remain blind to the fact that the consequences cut both ways, and all they were doing was delaying thier own consequences they WOULD have to face someday, by thier new drug of choice, denial.

Oh the threesome and "You should get to know them, they are really good people!" thing has been done so many times, it's common wayward speak. My dad wanted to have his Girlfreind from work move in so my mother could meet her. You can find that sort of crap all over , with the men who believe and live for thier own self idolization, it's been done for centuries accually.

But it struck me especially funny that he would use the word consequence, when he didn't even understand the deeper meaning of what means, to commit your heart for life, and how tricky that road can be, if we are not accountable

Maybe he could use that word too in a nonsensical statement. "Accountable"

It wouldn't surprise me if someone did

I stand by my nomination

Ah yes the drug, ER I mean love, of Jesus

What an angle

"God knows and understands... I just had to escape... Be bad .. It was just a consequence that you all have to bear"

How about Flip Wilsons Geraldine, " The devil made me do it"

But you know, God is not fooled, and " the worm, (conscience), dieth not".
They always affair down

This one gets my nomination

Another one:
The Dolly: "Tell your wife not to email me at work. It is compromising my professionalism."
BW (me) (in email to her work address): "YOU compromised your professionalism by having an A with a married client. Unless you mean a different profession?"