Thank you, kaycstamper, for that reminder.

Hi Kay thought about you today lol. About your wisdom and good word too.

Yes FE, praying without ceasing, I remember hearing that a lot , and also how that is an attitude of expectation, from the Father, that goes beyond words, but at times that's all we have, to let our heart be known, and of course, our father has given his word to us, as we understand it as well as we can.

But you know inside what the Father wants for you, and you can trust that for peace also, above and beyond the things that happen in this messed up world. Yes the imagination is a gift from God, but not outside the kingdom of the mind. The strongholds of what is our enemy also in our minds, is where God does his best work. The work that brings results, before you even see them.

" Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen"

It's real , it's substance...
It's evidence.. Proof

But it happens first in the mind. May I say the imagination, of which God is king and ruler of, as he protects us all from those foolish sins against ourselves, and thus Himself also

Thanks CP. I've been having awful thoughts about "getting even" with the POSOW. I KNOW that is wrong, but sometimes, I can't help them. I would not act on these thoughts, as I know that 2 wrongs don't make a right. I guess I just want to see her get what's coming to her...

I think that I've been struggling because WH has not been able to leave his job yet. That whole area is where the affair took place. It's where POSOW lives. He does have a friend of ours from our old church working with him for accountability. - His idea. I realize it's difficult to find another job in this economy, but it's so hard for me to deal with, even with this friend working with him.

I am much more action-based (take charge) than WH. When I start something, I will do it to the best of my ability, and finish it. WH waffles on things that are unknown. - Always has... Hence the finding another job issue.

We are going to be tested for STD's this afternoon. Your prayers on this are appreciated.

Here's a radio clip about contacting the OW after the affair is over and sending her nastygrams.
Radio clip about contacting OW after affair is over at 5:00 min mark

Hope it helps.

Thanks for the link, BH. I can't get it to play, though...

I was able to get the link to work on the other computer. Thank you. It was what I needed to hear.

I am smart enough not to write anything that would be considered a threat. Unfortunately, my mind has been devising more devious ways to get back at her. I don't think that I would do that, as it is quite childish. But, I think about it none the less.

Well, I've no real advice other than to say that, like everyone else, I've pondered violent actions against an affair partner. Trouble is, I don't think making license plates for the State would suit me that much.

It'll fade as your life takes a more positive turn. That's not to say that you'll ever have happy thoughts about the skank, but that it just won't occupy your thoughts as much.

Take care, it sounds as though you are on the right track.

Thanks Northwood. I don't have violent thoughts, just childish ones. Like writing her number on a bathroom wall and adding "for a good time call..."

I want her to change her number since WH knows it by heart...

Plus her BH told me not to expect her to let this go. She is nuts.

Next time you happen by a truck stop, make sure you have a marker with you should you decide to write something in the bathroom!

If she keeps bugging you guys, then just call the police each time. I wouldn't even bother trying to handle it on your own--involve the authorities to send the message that you aren't going to fool around with this.

Oh, I always carry a sharpie.

I will definitely call the cops. I have no problem with that! Wh was a bit hesitant on filing a RO, as it might "ruffle feathers" and make things worse, but I told him that snakes don't have feathers...

Oh those poor snakes!!

No feathers?

Those poor things!

I KNOW!



You are funny CP!

It's amazing what people with the generous and compassionate point of view and approach in life will put up with for the sake of the poor snakes in this life

I speak from the point of view and experience of being such a fool myself, and with the same protective male ego as any man, ( or course operating from the mammal part of my brain), I really bought the snake line hook and sinker, and swallowed it all. The foolish male ego. Even believed the impossible.

Does he see how he was fooled? By himself mostly? If you are both following the program as laid out here by DR H, in time he will have to face his own humanity and weakness too

It's part of growing up

Well, FathersEyes, you know where to find me.
For when he wants a lil' hand in getting cleaned up...

Yes, CP, it is amazing what people will put up with for the sake of the snakes... I guess that you can't necessarily "love" someone through it, so to speak.

I do believe that he sees how he was fooled. Time will tell if he continues to see it. We are both following the MB program. So far, it has been a positive learning experience.

Thank you for all of your wise words so far.

Thanks GloveOil!

Great pic! And great movie!

I think he will be posting tonight.

We are working on eliminating triggers, but some of them take time, such as selling the house, boat(which I refuse to go on now), and Antique car (which I also refuse to go in), and the biggest one- WH's job.

But what if you can't completely eliminate triggers?

Ex: Our DD16 shares her first name with the POSOW. That is a huge trigger for me. I don't even like calling DD by her name. When speaking of her to WH, I refer to her as, "our girl." I would guess that it's a trigger for WH, as well. What can we do about that short of changing DD's name?

Use her middle name? Both first and middle name? First and middle name initials? Nickname? Princess? What about asking DD?

Her first and middle initial spell out her nickname, which was the same nickname as POSOW. She doesn't like her middle name. Need to come up with a nickname for her that will stick, I suppose. Thanks for the suggestions.