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Did you ever do a plan b letter?
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Yes,
WW, It is with the heaviest of hearts that I write you this letter. I am saddened by what has become of us, our friendship, our marriage. This letter is written to you as a necessity. Allow me to explain.
I foolishly pursued my career without understanding my responsibility to meet your most important emotional needs. I was not there for you when you needed me the most, and we are now both suffering for my mistake.
I realize that I have not been a perfect husband to you. I see now that both my attitude and financial irresponsibility drove a wedge into our marriage. I apologize to you. You must know that I never intended to hurt you or push you away from me.
The pain that your relationship with *OM* and the relationships that you have had during our marriage has been unimaginable. Continued contact with you has the potential of destroying my love for you and I don't want that to happen.
It is because of this that I must insist that we no longer contact each other, until you are no longer involved with *OM* or anyone else. I ask that you respect my decision. In the event of an emergency, or any necessary financial matters, please contact my dad, mom or my sister, and they will contact me. Once you have ended your relationship with *OM* or anyone else completely, please contact me, and I will be willing to discuss restoring our friendship and marriage.
I am committed to our marriage. I believe that we can build a marriage that is stronger and more beautiful than we have experienced. Beginning today, I walk forward in life, and I want you to walk with me. I love you with all of my heart. I want us to be a team, and restore our marriage together. I want you to know that no matter how bad the past was, no matter how ugly, we can get past it. With God's help, our true healing can begin. Look inside yourself and find the strength we will need to do this.
Your loving husband
Last edited by McLovin; 11/22/13 09:03 AM. Reason: Names removed by request
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So if you are in plan B you Should have no contact with her anyway. Obviously you will probably see her in court. My court waitin area was a small area and I sat across from my wife. Is your court the same?
Do you have an atty for this hearing?
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I see your point guys. She will have to do all steps for recovery. But to start out she needs to do the following.
A full confession > take a polygraph > NC letter to POSOM Give up custody of kids Read and follow Dr. Hs books Do I help her during this? Do we do these things together during the R? Has she given you any indication she's even interested in recovery? She just came back from spending time with OM, correct? 1st step would be to end affair and NC for life with OM and send NC letter. If she can't do those......
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Dsc, I know it's difficult. I cried many nights missing my wife. It was the saddest time in my life.
What got me through it was saying : I can't control her actions. I can only control my own.
I have full custody of my three kids now. And it's because I made a decision to protect them. My wife was/is in love with a covicted child abuser and sug addict Your wife was/is in love with a scumbag of the same caliber.
My three children needed protection. As do your children.
So just try to focus on providing care for your child. Hopefully you will eventually get custody of step son.
My aunt is a hospice nurse and she told me that she has nursed 40 year old men as they died. She said life is too short to live in misery. And it really is.
BTW you may already be doing this but I carry a copy of my custody order in my wallet.
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I have an attorney. Court is this morning, hopefully things go in my favor. I was asking about R just in case she asks but I'm doubtful WW will. I will remain stoic in the waiting room and in court. Won't follow my emotions at all. I am focusing on DS and myself got him enrolled in pre k and playing minecraft with him. Had my first anger managment class yesterday and the counselor agreed I don't need it. I will complete regardless because it looks good as well as my parenting classes. Any other classes I should take? How do I post a question on the radio show? How do I talk to the good doctor? How much does it cost?
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It is free you go to the main page and click on radio and there is a link to send in a question.
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Good luck in court. I usually bring a newspaper to read so I dont have to look at her.
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Another continuance. She has a lawyer now. They want us to go through mediation. I'm setting the bar high doing that. I want full custody and her supervised custody. No if ands or buts! She tried to talk to me and I said I needed DS birth certificate. She immediately walked away.
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I have an attorney. Court is this morning, hopefully things go in my favor. I was asking about R just in case she asks but I'm doubtful WW will. I will remain stoic in the waiting room and in court. Won't follow my emotions at all. I am focusing on DS and myself got him enrolled in pre k and playing minecraft with him. Had my first anger managment class yesterday and the counselor agreed I don't need it. I will complete regardless because it looks good as well as my parenting classes. Any other classes I should take? How do I post a question on the radio show? How do I talk to the good doctor? How much does it cost? Good luck today and let us know how it goes. Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question. Make sure you include your number and tell them you'd like to be a caller. It is free and you will receive a free book.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I went through mediation. Her boyfriend is probably paying for the lawyer.
**EDIT** im not going to comment further other than saying to not negotiate. By you having temporary custody she is in no position to bargain. If you need to get a GAL. They will think she's crazy.
Good luck
Last edited by CicadaMB; 11/08/12 01:11 PM. Reason: discussing moderator decisions
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Oh I did want to let you know. In my case Dr Harley encouraged me to remain in plan a indefinitely if there was any possibility of shared parenting. In case of sole custody he encouraged plan b. I suggest you email the show and ask what he recommends in your case post divorce
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Yay, Joyce called and ill be on the show soon! She also asked me to see if WW could call in. I plan asking my IM to pass the number to her to see if she could call and give input on the show. I hope she does with the MB program she will understand that reconciliation is possible and marriage takes hard work not magic.
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Good luck! He's a national expert and it's really a $500 phone call you are getting for free!
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BH is there any radio clips out there about reconciliation after divorce? Could you post them on my thread please! Thank you! God bless you all.
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BH is there any radio clips out there about reconciliation after divorce? Could you post them on my thread please! Thank you! God bless you all. Here are a few. Radio clip on remarrying Radio clip Radio clip
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Thanks BH. Seems WW is in our home city and did not fly back to FL w/ POSOM or PR with MIL. Got an email from her (a fake email address bit I know it was her) she wants to see DS but OP says 0 visitation and I don't want to have DS around her cause she lied to him as well. He asked her where she was and she stated with grandma when she was in fact Miami. Also told him daddy doesn't want mommy and SS to come home. Trying to warp his mind from the truth.
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Thanks BH. Seems WW is in our home city and did not fly back to FL w/ POSOM or PR with MIL. Got an email from her (a fake email address bit I know it was her) she wants to see DS but OP says 0 visitation and I don't want to have DS around her cause she lied to him as well. He asked her where she was and she stated with grandma when she was in fact Miami. Also told him daddy doesn't want mommy and SS to come home. Trying to warp his mind from the truth. If the order says zero visitation, then you have no delima, correct?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Love this forum! Your right BH thanks!
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Love this forum! Your right BH thanks! Stay strong, friend.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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