I screwed up bad, i'm 45, H is 43, married 21 yrs, 18yo daugh I had a best friend, we were drinking like there was no end one night, she ended up making out w/ my brother (she was only engaged 1 wk prior) and I "rescued" her by bringing her up to our bed w/ my husband in it. She and I start to make out and he leaves the room but comes back stating "nothings going to change"
it was just a fantasy come to reality...so i thought. The 3 some didnt do much for me but he would bring it up non-nonchalantly, stating if it happened again thats ok, if not ok too. Well it happened again (because I thought it was a fantasy for him and I was devasted when I saw her on top of him. That was MY position. I ended up in laying on the closed floor in tears, they came into get me and that was it. The last time it happened my H got us drunk w/ shots and ended up w/ his pants off in and out of the hot tub w/ a hard on. Well, of course it was going to happen again (although I should have stopped it) but at that point it didnt matter, they had already started to see each other on the side. I found this out the next morning when he announced that "he could not choose between us and he loved her. I know this is a soap opera, but its my life and I cant believe this has happened. Then my "best friend" via phone (he calls her from his hotel, he's a truck driver, tells my H I had a one night stand 5 yrs ago (which is true) and he's mad because I never told him. Now nearly 3 wks have gone by and he's still "thinking about her" we've seen a therapist x2 today I told her about MB and she disagrees w/ me checking his phone, emails etc. He still doesnt know what he wants. I told him, she has been w/ multi men but he's so infatuated w/ her now I believe he's going to leave me. I printed out Emotional Needs questionairre monday but he's yet to fill it out. HELP!!!!!!! I love him more than anything and told him my ONS was a MISTAKE and I REGRETED it from start to end!

Welcome to MB. Would you like to share your story?

TY BrainHurts....I should also include that I'm an alcoholic, and have been for yrs, I would go out w/ my friends alot and partake in drug activities, but I was faithful, except for that 1 night 5 yrs ago. He was someone I had seen in the bar B4. But I didnt really know him well, my H is devastaded because of it, but I told him there was no emotional commitment, but now he's says he's "never felt this way" B4. I thought we had a great marriage, and this is just a fantasy of his...now it's turned into this...my worst nightmare. Also I broke my ankle.......well apparently that was his "Big Chance" to be w/ her and 2 wkns after I broke my ankle he went to another city w/ her and spent the night......I'm doomed arent I? I'm such a fool.

I did quit drinking 2 wks ago but it doesnt matter i dont think, he still thinking about her.

Are in AA for you drinking?

Also let me ask you some more questions.

You had an affair 5 years ago?

Now you and your WH had a three some and he is now hooking up with the OW?

Have you exposed both your and his affairs?
Exposure 101

Please read all of these.
Alcoholic Spouse #1
Alcoholic Spouse #2
Alcoholic Spouse #3

Are you committed to having no contact for life with your "best" friend and have you told him that you require that commitment from him as well in order to continue your marriage? Is your best friend married?

Best friend was engaged one week before the first threesome.

Yes the BF was engaged one week prior. I quit drinking cold turkey. I told my H I would do ANYTHING to keep him. Yes I have ended my relationship w/ my so called BF. But my H supposedly ended the relationship via phone, even after i asked him NOT TO CONTACT HER. During todays therapy session, my H announced that he called the OW to "See how she was doing" so I pointed that out, that he told me he called her to break it off. OW is engaged NOT married, if I blow the whistle on her, dont u think that will be and open door for my H and her to b together?

T2W,

she ended up making out w/ my brother (she was only engaged 1 wk prior)

So if I understand the story correctly within one week of being engaged, she cheated on her fiance with 3 people? Please tell her fiance what is going on. Kissing is cheating btw.

God Bless
Gamma

T2W,

I blow the whistle on her, dont u think that will be and open door for my H and her to b together?

Nope right now OW is addicted to your WH, and WH is to her, affairs like any kind of addiction thrive on secrecy.

God Bless
Gamma

Did you read the exposure thread? It also has proper NC letters in the thread also.

Does your WH travel for his job? He is a truck driver?

Have you joined AA for your alcoholism?

I encourage you to go to AA.
They have meetings almost daily.

I have not joined AA, I just quit cold turkey. I have a broken leg and cant drive. Y a truck driver w/ opportunity to B w/ her if he chooses to be. If I expose the A she will leave her fiance for my H. My H has not left me....yet. My H doesnt know what he wants. I've reached the depths of despair. I dont want to go on w/o him and my H knows this. He doesnt want me checking his phone, email etc. He feels like he has no life, he never gets to do anything.

You need to stop your despair and just follow the program.
First step is to expose the affair. You need to let all family and married friends know. And let the fianc� know. Isnt the fianc� your brother?

It sounds like you and your husband have a drinking, party lifestyle.
You need to visit a alcohol rehab facility or AA.
So you find out what triggers your drinking and how to respond to those triggers.

Can you follow the first step of exposure today?
Write a letter exposing the affair and post it here for review. Then you will need to send it to family and friends on Facebook.
Can you do post your letter by end of day?

JK,

If I understand the story correctly the OW had sex with WWs brother, WW herself and WWs husband. The OW is engaged to a fourth person.

Is that correct TryingToWorkItOut?

To restate it from the DD18s perspective the OW had sex with her Mother, her Father and her Uncle, lets not forget that the child is effected by this mess.

God Bless
Gamma

This sounds like one of those TPT jokes where my dad is my uncle, and my mom is my sister.

The OW was making out in my hut tub w/ my brother, she was my BF, she than had sexual made out w/ me and had intercourse w/ my husband w/ me there. Than my H started calling her from his hotel room while he was a work and they were w/ each other at least x3 that I know of. He says he has not talked to her in 2 weeks. I'm begging him to try to work it out, i've showed him MB. But he still has strong feelings for OW. Our daughter knows everything thats going on. She told my H she will still see him but she will not have anything to do w/ him and OW.