hey, read it too. She has been married for two years only and he has four kids!!!
Crazy people.

He was married for 17yrs. His friend was quoted as saying this will be hard for him as he is an honourable man

Happy!!!

Hope that the kids are putting on a true blue birthday bash for ya... filled with pav, barbies and a stubbie or two

Okay, maybe a glass of pinot might better suit, but cheers to you having a good day.

, my friend

Aaawww thanks Cara and Brainhurts.

Cara, had a lovely down under birthday bash. DD16 gave me a lovely pamper pack filled with lots of Plan B treats.

Really enjoyed spending the day with my wonderful children. Felt really blessed and at peace that they have seen the truth and our relationship is strong again, misconceptions corrected.

Feeling little sad today. So much has happened in such a short space of time. Wedding anniversary, DDay anniversary, my birthday, hearing for SM, Isildur wanting to resume contact with DS7 after 4 1/2 mths and wanting him for 13 nights including Xmas Day

I also think seeing Isildur and PEGI at the hearing hasn't helped. Yes thats right the skank was brazen enough to sit in the waiting area outside the courtroom. I wasn't going to let her rattle me so I walked past head held high and managed a smile on my face. Her next tactic was a well timed loud kiss as I walked into the courtroom

Not very Plan B but at the end of the hearing as our respective lawyers spoke I looked directly at Isildur to see if he could look me in the eye .... of course he couldn't didn't even look in my direction.

I think the adreneline and desire to fight for my family carried me through and now it is hitting me. There were so many inaccuracies and distortions of the truth, yet these gave me the strength to fight for what was right.

Now it's sad to think Isildur is capable of these actions all to maintain the fix.

I enjoyed my birthday and as I looked at my wonderful children I thought what a fool he is to walk away from such a beautiful family ....post fog he will struggle with this.

DD16's birthday is in 2 days. Although she is looking forward to it is also touched with sadness for her. Isildur told her about PEGI (not the A just his GF)on her 16th birthday last year and this is at the back of her mind.

She hasn't really had contact with Isildur since she gave him the ultimatum family or PEGI. She doesn't think Isidlur will acknowledge her birthday and is saddened by this.

She recently sent him a text upset he had little available money for her optometrist account but holidayed in Noumea with PEGI.

DD asked him to think about PEGI's motives - money and him being her boss. Pointed out how PEGI had changed him and how he had always told our kids "don't let anyone change who you are if they love you they will accept you for who you are" Told him to stand back and put his feelings aside and think about everything. DD told him although she was very angry at him she didn't want him to get hurt and that was going to happen, leave while he can and protect his money. DD would forgive him if he left PEGI.

DD is selling online the clothes and shoes PEGI gave her months ago. Whilst PEGI was lying about me and manipulating DD she was also giving her bribes.

PEGI is a very good manipulator. Apart from poisoning Isildur against me, she has used our children to drive a wedge between us and influenced his parenting views. She influences/controls all Isildur's decisions even parenting/education and our marital property/expenses. She has manipulated his perception of me, so any positive behaviour or actions is turned into something negative.

I know OW follow a script and influence WH and portray BS as crazy but this OW is also a narcissist and a very skilled manipulator. Even someone close to her contacted me and said she was mentally unstable.

So much for thinking my final impression prior to entering Plan B was a good one. I looked good and was wearing a dress that had significant memories attached to it. PEGI has managed to paint me as a crazy pathetic woman "sitting around the house all day in a ball dress waiting for Isildur to come home" Not quite a ball dress but Isildur told DD I'm mad and Iam loosing it I sat around all day blah blah.

PEGI has started to show her true colours, her selfishness and controlling behaviour. It would be such a shame if the pressure of legal matters, our children's stand against A etc cause LB

I was unable to prevent PEGI having contact with my children and worried about the negative impact, I'm even more concerned now with the information that has come to light. Learned yesterday DS7 had solo access whilst Isildur was training for a work sport event....grrr.

Solo access meaning, he was alone with her?

Yes, a few times whilst he was at training. I had absolutely no idea. I'm going to speak to my lawyer and see what I can do.

In the meantime, Isildur wants to resume contact after 4 1/2 months. DS7 doesn't want to go there. A couple of days ago my lawyer advised that DS7 didn't want to go to their house for visits and that until the reason could be determined I was not going to make him go.

I know he doesn't want to visit b/c it's not the same loving environment he has always been used to. DS7 has stated "dad treats me like a teenager" PEGI's parenting expertise (she has 4 cats) has set the ground rules. Isildur hardly hugs DS anymore. He has said he doesn't feel safe, that if he is scared there is no one to make him feel safe. He would like me to go for sleepovers b/c I always make him feel safe.

DS7 is still hurt and angry that Isildur didn't attend his grandmother's funeral in early September.

I'm hoping I can prevent PEGI having access to DS7 ... our laws unfortuantely aren't as good as US laws in this regard.

I know you're hurting and sad, my friend.You definitely should be proud of yourself on how you handle yourself with class. PEGI wishes she could be half the classy woman you are.

You should always hold your head high because you ARE above them.

One day your WH will crash and it won't be a pretty sight. Thank the Lord your kids have you.

Please give soon to be DD17 a hug from a MB friend and your other awesome soldiers.

(((happy)))

Thanks Brainhurts you always manage to lift my spirits although your post brought a tear to my eye.

Sometimes it can feel overwhelming particularly when you are constantly faced with false claim about your actions or projections of the waywards behviour. It really helps when someone points out the positive and validates your actions.

Thanks for your support and encouragement, I really appreciate it and it helps me continue finding strength.

Karma!

In his time.

You really inspire me

She's a class act isn't she!

Thank you Brainhurts and dduchess for your kind words

I believe in karma and look forward to the day it pays waywardville a visit

Happy late birthday HF! Your family has come so far in the last crazy year. Sounds like you have a good lawyer and are sticking to your guns. Have you seen the soulmate schmoopie videos? There is one where the WH calls OW a good mother because she raised three cats...so funny that this is so typical, yet heartbreakingly sad as well. Good for you for fighting for your family even through the pain of it all!

PEGI sounds like a nasty piece of work... Manipulative, selfish, bribing your kids etc. At least she is showing her true colors.
My WH's OW always told him how much she loved our girls, she was apologizing to me through my kids and asking for forgiveness, she told them she simply fell in love????
I always thought that this was extremely manipulative too.

I couldn't decide wether to leave Spain or not, but at the end thinking about OW constantly present in my girl's life made me go without hesitation ( now I have doubts sometimes).

Well done for coping in the courtroom ( and facing the OW- this must have been excruciating)

And very late Happy Birthday!
Lots of patience and strength ;o)

Czarne, I can understand you having doubts, we want our children to have a relationship with their father. You made your decision for all the right reasons. It is good your children are not exposed to waywardville and the OW.

PEGI is nasty. I agree it's good she is showing her true colours. Iam glad my children have seen the "woman" she is, hopefully she has lost her power to manipulate them.

PEGI sent me a text months ago suggesting we meet for a chat, discuss a few things and clear the air ... I ignored it. She told DD16 she'd made contact, portrayed herself as the good guy and me as the bad guy who refused to clear things up.

After exposure PEGI said to DD16 "your mother I don't understand her, why would she want to take him back when he cheated, if that was me it would be over" ... she was in a defacto relationship at the time and they had been denying A. An inappropriate conversation to have with DD.

I believed Isildur had projected PEGI's controlling manipulative behaviour onto me. It was easier to think of me as the bad guy than face PEGI's flaws. I later learned how controlling and manipulative she was. As well as behaviour in my earlier post, PEGI chooses his clothes, made him throw out his casual comfy clothes he liked to wear as they didn't meet her standards. He now wears slippers she purchased although he always hated them and never owned a pair. He isn't even allowed to wear rugby socks around the house b/c PEGI thinks its too emabarrasing. He buys her flowers every week at her request. DD16 thinks it crazy PEGI chooses clothes for a 25 -35yr old (Isildur is 45, PEGI 35).

I also recently learned PEGI doesn't want him to come home to collect DS7 for visits. This has caused major problems for DS7. I had always thought Isildur couldn't face returning home as it interferred with the fantasy. Seems PEGI has worked hard to ensure he doesn't return to the marriage and family. PEGI's insecurity and lack of trust I'm sure will impact the A. Interesting she regularly checks his cellphone etc and she doesn't have the benefit of MB knowledge

It's ironic one of his justifications for leaving was that he had "rolled over for me", although we always made joint decisions abuot everything. Seems every justificaton/rewrite was prophetic of what happens in waywardville.

Forgot to add in my novel above ... it was hard knowing PEGI was there but I'm sure my reaction would have caused her the most grief. Narcissists don't like being ignored or not achieving the desired reaction.

Fortunately my lawyer was very understanding, he had forewarned me she may attend to rattle me and he checked out the waiting area before we entered, so I knew she was waiting and had a few moments to gather myself... still wasn't easy though.

This is quoted from another thread:

"When people are in affairs, they talk to their affair partner about things that are wrong in their life. The focus is outside the affair - two people against the world. What do you think is the main conversation between your H and his OW? How mean you are? Feeding these conversations to H and his OW keeps the affair ignited."

I agree with this comment, but I'm curious how legal battles effect waywardville. Does it help keep the A ignited or does it create interference in the A?

It would be very sucky if protecting yourself and children actually helped keep the A alive.

Jen, sorry didn't see your post. Thanks for your support. I have seen the soulmate schmoopies website, i'ts good for a laugh and staying sane ...sad it's soo true. The crazy catwoman OW is my favourite it could have been based on PEGI ... she nominated herself as step mother of the year after taking DS7 to a movie she choose

DD17 had her birthday yesterday. We had a lovely day but she was saddened that Isildur only sent a text "Happy Birthday" ... gutted actually he couldn't add "love you". Unfortunately she text him about this and of course you can't reason with a wayward. He basically stated he loved her but could not "condone her behaviour" Seems the logic of the wayward mind is - it's ok to have an A and leave the family, its not ok for your hurt and angry children to speak up against the A