I have noticed several posters state that he is softer on exposure as you say.
The issue of exposure seems very inconsistent at times.
It is not in SAA book and apparently isn't pushed by the Coaching Center.
On the Radio Show Dr Harley clearly and consistently supports exposure

I think Steve has no issue with exposing the OM, and he did say that exposing right before Christmas is good, but I think there is some understanding that it can backfire more when it's a second exposure. In my wife's case, she is still angry at me about the exposure and isn't letting go. I think Steve recognizes that women can get like this and that is why he wanted me to see if she would agree to "research" the idea of being in love with me and agreeing that it would be the ideal situation. His advice was to expose if she didn't agree by the end of a week's time.

I think there are a lot of nuances involved in this area. I wish like heck that I had the OM's info back when I exposed before and just went all nuclear then, but I didn't. I actually delayed it a while back when trying to get info on him. But that is the past. Steve has been excellent at getting waywards/foghorns on board, so I'll just trust his judgement for now. After all, I am paying him some serious cash to give me good advice!

Exposing the OM is not exposing the WW a second time. It is exposing the OM a first time.

There is no better time then to expose the OM then now. OM will not be able to hide from people because of the holidays.

JK,

The issue of exposure seems very inconsistent at times.

I think because Steve has so much experience he is able to read from the callers voices a great deal about their personality. From the programs I've heard he then seems to use that data to modify his recommendations.

God Bless
Gamma

You certainly don't need Steve's "permission" to rip this OM a new one for this recent contact. I'm not understanding the hesitancy on that.


Your going apesh*t on the OM will tell you very quickly just how "active" their communication is. Get busy!

I have to agree with Road here...this isn't a 2nd WW exposure -- it's a 1st OM exposure.


Well said, NW.

I don't understand his trepidation -- perfect opportunity, perfect time to expose.

Do it.

There is one, and only one, thing you need to know about exposure; exposure in and of itself is NOT to save your marriage. At all.

The purpose of exposure is to KILL THE AFFAIR DEAD, and to put sets of eyes on the adultery partners to put the kibosh on renewed contact. This is why you expose both adulterers far and wide.

Your marriage cannot be restored if there is active adultery. Your marriage will not survive renewed contact and reignition of the affair.


Your wife's anger is not about being exposed, it's about getting caught and having her crack pipe taken away.

Keep fearing her anger, and you will NOT recover your marriage.

Don't worry...I have it all lined up. Steve is advising me on what to do. I'm going to setup another appointment. I'll ask his advice on this before that (quick yes or no) to make sure I'm not messing with something he's trying to accomplish. Believe me...I've been wanting to blow the guy up for a while. But if Steve is trying to accomplish something that this can interfere with, I'll wait. If not...I will start making reality hit his world, and I would love to do so right before Christmas. I keep telling you guys that I say what I mean and vice versa.

Trust me...this isn't a motivational issue at all. I hear you all loud and clear.

HHH, I don't fear her anger. She's already been exposed once. It was the OM that I didn't have the info on originally, and, therefore, could not truly expose.

I could not be sitting as calm as you. I'd be calling Steve to get the green light to expose OM before the holiday.

You are missing the best time to expose.

This will be a missed opportunity to deal a deathblow to the affair.

My plan is to do it this weekend unless Steve tells me not to (which he would have to explain to me why). I'm looking at a compressed timeframe. Full blown Christmas Eve panic. I won't have another juicy opportunity like this, and I still need enough free time to do it. Like I said, I have a plan.

Did you expose the OM?

Any exposure?

Count my voice in the chorus -- any exposure?

Update?

You okay over there ? Have you exposed ?

Hello? Is exposure complete?