Before I discuss my problem/confusion, here's a little (sorta long) background..

I got married last year to the love of my life. We love each other dearly but we fight a lot of time over silly stupid things. We are both very strong headed and have a strong opinion about things. He tends to get angry when I don't listen to his opinion and I tend to get angry when he brushes me off like I don't know anything. I have a quick temper and I also get really nasty when I am angry. I will threaten him with divorce and try to hurt his feeling (even thou I immediately regret my choices but words are like water, you can't take them back). I also realize I tend to blame others when things didn't go as I planned and I have been trying very hard to change that.

Now onto my confusion...We are currently living with my parents and I am the one paying for majority of the bills. My parents were very successfully business owner but due to gambling habit (which I am happy to say, it's history now), they have to live on their small pension. My hubby wants to move out which was hard for me and I agree (well he threaten me with no kids if we don't move out). I am turning 34 and I am afraid I don't have much time left for having kids so my priority is always having a family. However after months of searching for a place to rent, now he started getting stress from work (he got bully at work and it's an environment full of bi*ches) to the point he is worry about getting fired. He also managed to rack up the credit card (we paid it off to 0 balance with the wedding money) and have to use the save up for rent money for his credit card (well I told him to do it cuz I don't want to pay interest). Of course it's not completely his fault that the credit card got racked up, we do eat out a lot...Now we are talking about the possibility of just staying with my parents and I feel struck and betrayal, we already forgo honeymoon because we want to move out - so I also kinda feeling rip off.

I want to talk about how I feel but I don't know how cuz he gets mad at me for expressing myself and always turn this into poor me and it's all about me when it's not. I also don't want to start a hugh fight with him because I don't want to hurt our marriage.

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