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Originally Posted by wannabophim
Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
The perfect date you say?...Hmmmm think

Perfect date would be one WITH the Mentalist (Simon Baker)! smile

Simon Baker you say?...Hmmm think

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Thank you brainy!

What would we do without you our little librarian!!!

Had a great time at the ballet tonight. Just... Perfect.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Simon Baker is married and the father of three.....

so the only one who gets that perfect date is his wife. smile







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Originally Posted by estrela
Indie,

Thanks for your thread. You are so smart, and so brave. I am not there yet, but saving lots of tips for when it is time.

I am sooooo happy you are having a good time, and found someone worth exploring!

Enjoy!

E

Hi Estrela..hope you are doing well. Divorce isn't final yet?

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Originally Posted by indiegirl
Had a great time at the ballet tonight. Just... Perfect.

Just.... perfect.... you say?... think Hmmmm....

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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Just.... perfect.... you say?... think Hmmmm....

Alright, I'll bite - wassup with parroting indie's every post with a "think Hmmmm"?

Inside joke of some sort? dontknow

AGG


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Originally Posted by indiegirl
Yes, I agree WF. People can mask real ENs. Or their real selves.

If anyone is struggling with verifying this in the early dating stage, I suggest an old reporters' trick. Tilt your head in sympathetic listener's mode. Don't fill any silences. Just go 'mmm' and make encouraging 'I'm listening' sounds etc, don't give anything away.

The other person automatically fills the awkward silence and spills their guts. Without knowing anything about you, they reveal themselves.

It's good. Try it!

So I was trying it out...Im sure she is just.."SMH>>"

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Originally Posted by AGoodGuy
Inside joke of some sort? dontknow

AGG

Thats as close as I come to the inner circle

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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Originally Posted by indiegirl
Yes, I agree WF. People can mask real ENs. Or their real selves.

If anyone is struggling with verifying this in the early dating stage, I suggest an old reporters' trick. Tilt your head in sympathetic listener's mode. Don't fill any silences. Just go 'mmm' and make encouraging 'I'm listening' sounds etc, don't give anything away.

The other person automatically fills the awkward silence and spills their guts. Without knowing anything about you, they reveal themselves.

It's good. Try it!

So I was trying it out...Im sure she is just.."SMH>>"

See it works!


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by indiegirl
Thank you brainy!

What would we do without you our little librarian!!!

Had a great time at the ballet tonight. Just... Perfect.
No problem. smile


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by indiegirl
Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Originally Posted by indiegirl
Yes, I agree WF. People can mask real ENs. Or their real selves.

If anyone is struggling with verifying this in the early dating stage, I suggest an old reporters' trick. Tilt your head in sympathetic listener's mode. Don't fill any silences. Just go 'mmm' and make encouraging 'I'm listening' sounds etc, don't give anything away.

The other person automatically fills the awkward silence and spills their guts. Without knowing anything about you, they reveal themselves.

It's good. Try it!

So I was trying it out...Im sure she is just.."SMH>>"

See it works!

Yeah it worked..on a guy... rotflmao

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I think guys are more willing to stick their nose in and figure stuff out for the "Fair Maidens"

But ya it works, even for guys, when they feel they are lost and/or confused.

(Its so cute huh gals?)

Its a back and forth with honesty and openness right? (God help us)

Ah, gone are the days of being a KISA, Don Quixote, saving fair maidens.

(Oh God did I ever buy into that crap?)

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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
I think guys are more willing to stick their nose in and figure stuff out for the "Fair Maidens"

But ya it works, even for guys, when they feel they are lost and/or confused.

(Its so cute huh gals?)

Its a back and forth with honesty and openness right? (God help us)

Ah, gone are the days of being a KISA, Don Quixote, saving fair maidens.

(Oh God did I ever buy into that crap?)

Hehe.. I hope not! Then you'd be in danger of becoming Don Quixote yourself. Quick burn your books on chivalry!


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Originally Posted by BetrayedP
Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
I think guys are more willing to stick their nose in and figure stuff out for the "Fair Maidens"

But ya it works, even for guys, when they feel they are lost and/or confused.

(Its so cute huh gals?)

Its a back and forth with honesty and openness right? (God help us)

Ah, gone are the days of being a KISA, Don Quixote, saving fair maidens.

(Oh God did I ever buy into that crap?)

Hehe.. I hope not! Then you'd be in danger of becoming Don Quixote yourself. Quick burn your books on chivalry!

"Well I'll tell ya little lady..I grew up with John Wayne so I expect Ill be pushin' up daisys...before I lose that..habit..."

Seriuosly my Dad looked like the duke, and was made of steel also..(but my Mom had the last word when she had to) She was only 5.2

Can anyone say....matrons ran the roost? Yeah but when Mamma gets mad and turns Daddy loose...well lets just say Grampa never had to speak up, lol. All I remember from childhood was him opening his mouth and saying,"Thats enough", at the Sunday Dinner table. He was such a good gentle polite man, one that nobody crossed, or did he give reason too.

Quite a culture shock getting married at 18.... (banghead What was I thinking?), oh yeah that's right, I wasn't.

So Indie do you think DR H is just trying to get dating down to a reasonable sport where we learn to play fair?

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OK, so an update.

Tonight I am helping artistman look over some pics for his website. He wants to set up his own business and he likes that I am so interested in the work.

At the weekend we are going to Chinese New Year events in Chinatown. Really looking forward to that.

I've still got a lively social life not involving him (you may have noticed I am posting less). Comparisons with other men are going something like this: 'similar lovely friendly expression - but not as good looking as artistman', 'He loves books/art too, but he's a sports-nut' 'Wow this guy is the life and soul of the party, but not as good a listener as artistman'.

I'm learning a lot about him by spending time with him and comparing with my original 'what I want' list. He's got all of the needs and requirements, though some of it (FC, FS) is something that would need the test of time to truly know.

I've also held him against the five points of compatability that Dr Harley recommends considering. Energy, social interest, culture, intelligience and values. He passes them all with flying colours.

There are things I simply hadn�t considered to put on my list though.

I had got it into my head that men and women like different things and therefore I was going to be dating someone either somewhat or very much my opposite.

I knew I wouldn't meet anyone at my bellydancing classes for example. So I had considered making my interests more masculine - take up rock climbing or something and see what different, more unisex interest would appeal to me.

I am amazed how much we like the same stuff. This is why we keep coming up with more plans than we have time to implement. The ballet for example is something I would have struggled to interest even old female friends in. The Chinese NY is also something that is not everyone's cup of tea. And he's suggested a kite festival. A kite festival! The freeloader in me is loving it.





What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Brainy, I listened to the link you so kindly posted but it was only one half. Dr H said he would go into it more in the second half and on the next days show.

Haven't had any luck finding those, don't suppose you could help?


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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That is a wonderful feeling isn't it Indie? Liking so many of the same things. I am still amazed by that with my dh. Simple things like a commercial that makes us both belly laugh every. single. time.

Sometimes it is like we have been around each other our entire lives...so many of our childhood experiences were exactly the same even though he was raised up in CA and I was raised up in AR.

It is such a comfortable relationship. I hope this is the start of one for you and artist man. smile

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I hope so. The similarities you mention are the same. I am constantly amazed by the similarities that keep coming up.

I am so used to being considered quirky. Even people who really like me consider my ideas and perspective quite startling and unusual. Sometimes I make people think; but no one is ever really in step with me. I've gotten so used to being the odd duck I take it for granted. Yet here is someone else voicing what I think before I say it.

It really is too soon to tell and time is the judge now. I know from past experience I have good instincts when I allow myself to trust them. And I know that I am tenacious enough to hold out until I am sure, logically and without papering over any cracks, that I will get an amazing deal for my life.

Or I will walk away. I have done so before when the commitment level was the highest and I can do it again

Last edited by indiegirl; 02/07/13 02:39 PM.

What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by SmilingWoman
Sometimes it is like we have been around each other our entire lives...

Yes sounds awesome Indie, this is rare to have SW..congrats.


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Originally Posted by indiegirl
Brainy, I listened to the link you so kindly posted but it was only one half. Dr H said he would go into it more in the second half and on the next days show.

Haven't had any luck finding those, don't suppose you could help?
I haven't noticed it either, but I will keep my ears open and post it if I find it.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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