Hello all,<BR>First, thank you all who took the time to read my last post about guilt and love and thank you to those who responded, I took it all to heart.<P>My W and I are going out to dinner and a movie tomorrow. Well I asked her if she would like to see the story of us. She didn't know much about it and agreed. Here is my question, We don't have any children and we didn't argue that often while together.( now seperated ( see profile for more)) all the movie critics say that they for the most part didn't like it.<P> Now I did read a thread about it earlier and it sounded like a good idea. Now I am having second thoughts. I do want to see the movie and I want to see it with my W, I just don't want her to think its some sort of play to get her to come back to me and the marriage....... <P>Tell me again why this is a good idea???<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>

Sorry, haven't seen it yet. I don't have the nerve to see it with H. <P>We did ,however, go and see Double Jeopardy last week and we both really enjoyed it.

My counselor recommended it to show my w about reality of marriage I guess. My w had siad she wanted to see it before, but when I asked tonite she said no, she didn't want to see a marriage movie.

sidney and rwd,<BR>Thanks, I know every one here said it was a good idea but I just don't want her to get the wrong idea. I do want to enjoy our date but I don't want to get too heavy with our problems. I just want to have fun. I guess we'll see it and just see what happens.<p>[This message has been edited by Rutger (edited November 05, 1999).]

Rutger,<P>Like you i'm considering taking my W to see it. It looks like we'll be separating right during the holidays. Her idea. <P>Anyway, be careful. I've followed your situation a little and you don't want to come across as trying to give her a message. It's a tough call. If she knows what it's about and wants to go...OK. If she doesn't know what it's about, you may want to tell her beforehand and ask if she's interested.<P>Either way, you've got a date and thats a GOOD THING !! Make the best of it with low expectations and zero pressure.<P>I'm pulling for you!

If you don't want your W to think you are sending her a message, then I <B>wouldn't</B> go see "The Story of Us." It <I>is</I> a really good movie, but it definitely speaks to the side of keeping a marriage together no matter what, and that may make your W feel guilty or pressured.<P>Personally, I'd take her to a <I>lighter</I> movie, maybe a comedy, or you could even try an action flick if there's any out right now. (Or maybe even a scary flick so that she will have to bury her head in your arms! That's what I do!)<P>Try to relax and enjoy the time you spend with her. Have fun!

DON"T DO IT!<P>Okay, I'm being a little paranoid. But, my W and I went to see it. She is still having the affair. She felt tremendously guilty and I cried. <P>I would take Lark's suggestion. Try a lighter movie. Something fun that you both might like. I haven't seen many light comedies advertised lately, so I'm not sure if there are any good ones out there! Maybe you could take your W to a play instead.<P>Just don't go to that movie. Really. Inducing guilt, even unintentionally, is not a good idea. She may think that you are trying to make her feel guilty.<P>Joe John

nlitend,<BR>She knows what it is about and she still said she would see it. But I'm not sure if she is going to see it because of feeling obligated or because she wants to. I guess I should just ask her. And trust me I know, Having a date is a good thing and I plan to enjoy every moment with her.<P>Lark and JJ,<BR>Darn, I was hoping somebody wouldn't say that. But it is what I wanted to know. I guess I'll call her today and just tell her the truth. Give her the movie in detail and tell her that I am not trying to send her a message and leave it up to her as far as if she wants to see it or not. I beleive that would only be fair so there are no suprises. I don't get to see her that often and I would hate for this night to go sour.<BR>

Liz,<BR>Thanks for your thoughts. I will do just that. I will ask her today if she still wants to see it after I tell her about the details. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I couldn't go to a movie like that. I just get wierded out when people start kissing on tv. I'll get over it I'm sure. Wish me luck tonight.....

Rutger, My H and I went to see "The Story of Us" last weekend. We are together and doing well and I still cried through most of the movie. It opened up some dialogue for us, but I don't think I would want to see it if we were separated.

What about the fact that it's a laughably bad movie?<P>If you want to see something sentimental, how about the new Meryl Streep flick?<P>I'd say go see BEING JOHN MALKOVICH, but it's only in limited release, and frankly, watching John Cusack lust after someone who reminds me a LOT of PSBFH was NOT FUN.<P>I have no other recommendations for you at the moment, I'm afraid.

Rutger,<P>I would be careful not to grill her on why she may be willing to see it. She made a decision and said "yes." Leave it at that. Just my $.02, but i see myself in you. Sometimes if we talked less we'd be better off. Go have a good time.