I think I really like yours. I wonder if I should send something like that now, or if I should wait. I know a few days ago everyone was yelling at me to STOP, hah. I won't do anything without your guys' blessing.

Maybe from time to time send her a quick note of an event that you know you both had an amazing day/experience...."I was just thinking about the time we did _______. Man, that was a great day." or..'i was just at _____..and had flashbacks of us being there together and feeling so close'

seed planting....

See my point?

All I can say is that going down this path worked for me. Dr Harley recommends that you have to make YOU look like the best option. You are in a competition. All of this while you are trying your best to expose and kill the A.

Plant seeds, I see, I see.. I just can't do it too much or she will get irritated. Maybe once a week?

Dude you just have to do what you think is the right thing when you want to do it. Stop worrying about how she is going to feel/react or whatever. Her mind is totally jacked up right now.

Just do what you think is right and stand behind it without an apology. Look, who on this planet can fault you for being a good person and saying nice things? No one. And if they do..well F -em. You know? The key is doing these things without going on the attack and throwing disrespectful judgments at her.

NO PRESSURE. She is sensitive to the slightest pressure..zero I mean zero. Just be laid back and cool.

Think Clint Eastwood or James Bond..whatever. Just be cool and not needy. Just paint word pictures from time to time to allow her envision a warm environment with you full of happiness.

Makes perfect sense!!

Everyone was telling you to stop stirring the pot. There is a difference.

Also, one other thing. However your communications go at this stage do not make any comments trying to make her see the error in her ways,to make her feel bad right now, tell her how mad you are, how hurt you are or try to straighten her out. That is being disrespectful.

Just make you look like the best option! No pressure.

edit: do you know what one of the things most women find attractive in a man?... confidence. Not arrogance but confidence.
Why do you think that sometimes you might be walking around and see a very attractive woman and think..how in the heck did HE get HER? Well he is definitely fulfilling her EN but I the other thing is most likely he is very confident.

Be confident in your decisions and how you handle yourself. Stand behind your decisions 100%...good or bad. If you screw up right now, say Hey, I screwed up! If not, take the rewards and enjoy!

Understood.

I wrote one or two letters like that, and then stopped writing, stopped educating, and stopped trying to woo her. Instead, I just did things for her like bring her soup when she was sick, send occasional friendly texts, and tried to be pleasant around her.

Funny thing was when I helped her move back in, I found one of the letters I had written in her bookcase. She kept it. I was shocked to see it since she had said nothing about it.

Keep throwing the pebbles into the river to build a bridge. But don't crowd her.

20 Year History's comments are right on the mark. I chuckle when I read his comments because we both took the same approach in saving our marriages I think, and we were both with our spouses for 20 years.

Anyway, not saying our stories will be your story, Odd, but if you follow the MB plan you can't lose.

She responded. Should I say something back?

I understand why you are doing what you're doing, but I need you to understand that I'm not coming back. I didn't want us to have the relationship that we do now, I hoped that we could be friends. I know I hurt you probably more than I can imagine, and again, I am sorry. You have hurt me too, and honestly, you've done some pretty crazy things. It makes me sad that I don't want to see you or talk to you anymore, but that's where I'm at right now. You act like a totally different person, someone I don't want to be around. Nothing you can do at this point is going to change my mind, I just know that I can't be my happiest married to you, I don't think we are a good fit. I just want to end this and move on, that's all I'm trying to do

I feel like I should validate her feelings towards me far as her thinking I am crazy and not wanting to see or talking to me. Would that be good?

Babe, I totally understand where you are coming from and respect that. If you ever change your mind just know I am here for you. By the way-----say something positive about something good goin on in your life.

Okay?

Love, I totally understand where you are coming from and respect that. If you ever change your mind just know I am here for you. By the way, I just had my fourth year anniversary at my company. My boss and boss' wife are so happy about it. I've been spending some time with their family up in Park City. Their house is sooo awesome. The view from there is amazing

slow to respond....wait. Get several ideas and then make it count. Since you don't want to crowd her...you must make each contact count. Plus...make her wonder what you are doing when not responding immediately.

I will be slow to respond. Maybe wait an hour or so. I think that is a good example of something good going on, though. It reminds her that I am successful, and shows I am being social. Ya?

Is it normal for a WS to think the mass exposure is a sign that BS is mentally ill? Lol..

Who cares??! My MIL thinks that having complete transparency in a M like FWW and I having complete access to each others phones and emails is a complete invasion of privacy. Know what? I don't have to explain myself to anyone except the love of my life.

You are a man. Stand up like one.

From here on out I wouldn't say another word about getting back together. I would try to make each and every interaction about positive things. Keep the conversations enjoyable. At least for a while until the timing is right. You will know.

It is a lot easier to do this with texting because you can be really careful and say exactly what you want to say. If I ever have to talk to her in person it is going to be a lot harder. Heh.

She just texted me back from that reply. She just said "Cool, grats"