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WW just called me screaming and I froze. How do I respond to her? I forgot everything I read about it. Help please. I'm sure she will call right back if she doesn't get in the car and come here. I am trying to find the exposure stuff again now.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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NeverMind I'm good. I just freaked a little. I actually froze and said nothing. I told her that I love her and wanted her to come home. I'm practicing "I'm sorry... do you want a cookie" but I will probably leave out the part about the cookie.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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VAR would of helped. Just saying...
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never apologise for exposure
BH: 46
FWW: 44
3 DD: 20,17,11
Married 24 years
PA/EA: 5/08
DDay: 6/08
NC: 8/08
Previous EA 1998 confessed 8/08
In Recovery
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I didn't apologize for the exposure, I did say that I was sorry for hurting her, but I did not apologize for the exposure itself. She asked me to and I said nothing.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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Should I leave this on my facebook wall?
you are official out of my life for good. I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU DID YOU ARE A SICK PERSON. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ALLOW ME TO DIVORCE YOU BUT NO YOU WONT SO YOU CAN CONTINUE TO SAY IM WRONG AND HAVING AN AFFAIR. JUST WAIT AND SEE ITS ON NOW YOUR DONE NO CHANCE IN HELL EVET EVER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN NOT EVEN .1 WHATEVER ADVICE YOU GOT JUST BACK FIRED DO EVERYONE A FAVOR AND THINK FOR YOURSELF. ANY PERSON ON MY PAGE THAT GOT THAT LETTER I want you to do me a favor and SHUT UP THAT MEANS NANCY YOU AND EVER OTHER *****<last name>. FUN TO GOSSIP ABOUT ME ISNT IT.
Last edited by agapelover; 06/22/13 12:08 AM.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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Thats my ww writing on my wall in case there is any confusion.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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Sure, I would just leave it there. She is having a very expected melt down. Just let her go. Good job on exposure!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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She is being judge cause you told the truth stay cool good work
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I am so sorry.
Even if you could Plan A longer, maybe you should protect what agape love for her you have by divorcing. I don't remember what book it's in, but sometimes people are let out of the fellowship so that what's his name can do with him what he will. In this case, OM won't be able to step into your shoes and only then will she realize the truth. In your heart you can hold out for her, but don't let her know this - she shouldn't have you to run to in distress then leave again when she feels better.
It's been two years, right?
xFWW(me)-48
Married-14 years
D-Day~23-May-11
NC- 14-Apr-11
1 DS 15
Online course July '11 to July '12
17 sessions with S. Harley Feb '12 to Sep '12
Divorced Jan 21, 2013
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Matthew 18:15-17 and it's probably part of the inspiration behind Dr Harley's exposure plan. The problem now, is that her friends are telling her that I was wrong for exposing. They are "liking" her post on my wall.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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Agape only comes from God; therefore, I have an unlimited source. However, I still have emotions and so your point is well taken. I am praying about that and it really depends on what happens when ww calms down as to what my next step will be. she may actually file for the final divorce papers in which case I will sign them.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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Matthew 18:15-17 and it's probably part of the inspiration behind Dr Harley's exposure plan. The problem now, is that her friends are telling her that I was wrong for exposing. They are "liking" her post on my wall. You are exactly right. I would be tempted to post John 3:19-21 in response to the friends who are "liking" her post. How sad that they are not truly "friends" to your wife. A true friend would persuade her to stop her self destructive path. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." ( John 3:19-21) Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. Ephesians 5:11 And here is Matthew 18:15-17 15 �If your brother or sister[a] sins,[b] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that �every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.�[c] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am tempted to post all of those scriptures, but I guess the question is: would that be beneficial or just add fuel to the fire?
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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I just wrote this and just can't hit send (on the facebook post). Should I?
I love my wife and I love my family. I want my family to be whole again and I know that starts with me, so I am not saying that I am always right and my wife is always wrong. I am saying that I love her and want to make our marriage one that others can look to and want what we have. I want my children to have a full time mother and a full time father rather than being pulled back and forth between the two. That cannot happen until she is willing and able to leave this man, come home and make things right. That is the purpose of the message I sent.
I would not have written the message I sent had it not lined up directly with the Word of God:
Matthew 18:15-17
John 3:19-21
Ephesians 5:11 (even better... start at verse 1 and go to 13)
This is very hard for me and I will not be drawn into a continuous public argument on Facebook, so if you have a problem with this or even just a question, then please message me and I promise that I will respond. If you have comments or questions for <ww>, then please message her. If this gets out of hand on this public post (technically semi-private) I will have no choice but to delete the entire post.
thank you for your support and especially your prayers.
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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Give me a second. I like your idea but want to add a little different twist. be right back!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Dear friends and family, I love my wife and my family very much. Her affair with Joe Blow has hurt me and the children terribly. I want my family to be whole again and I know that starts with me. I have made many mistakes and am willing to make changes. I want my children to have a full time mother and a full time father. I want more than anything to have the chance to make my wife happy.
But that cannot happen until she ends her affair with Joe Blow.
I am asking those of you who care about my wife and my children, please use your influence to persuade her to end her hurtful affair and work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged if she would only end the affair. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support our marriage. Please support our children.
Please pray for us all, agapelover
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The REASON I left out the scriptures is because it sounds like a lecture and I think you should avoid that if at all possible. Your wife is far removed from God right now and I think a better approach is to focus on the pain you have endured and express your love for your wife.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Dear friends and family, I love my wife and my family very much. Her affair with Joe Blow has hurt me and the children terribly. I want my family to be whole again and I know that starts with me. I have made many mistakes and am willing to make changes. I want my children to have a full time mother and a full time father. I want more than anything to have the chance to make my wife happy.
But that cannot happen until she ends her affair with Joe Blow.
I am asking those of you who care about my wife and my children, please use your influence to persuade her to end her hurtful affair and work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged if she would only end the affair. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support our marriage. Please support our children.
Please pray for us all, agapelover That is perfect. You might add somewhere: This will be my last post on the matter. From this point on this will be a private issue. That way "friends" understand that this is not about drama but about a real strategy to fix the marriage.
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and use his name specifically?
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Ps 46:1
Me-38
WW-33
Sons-6,9,12
D-7
DDay-sometime in early 2011 (I have a horrible memory)
MB stage- Modified plan A (per Dr Harley)
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