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Get the evidence.
I would definitely reach out to the XH. You may find out alot from him.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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One thing that worked for me was doing an online background check on the other man. Was a real eye opener and was instrumental in helping my wife to end her affair, which she did today, 1 month after initial exposure.
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I see two women (other than my wife) that like to shower him with affection on his facebook page. Woman A is currently married, but I don't know for how long. She has posted how he is the "perfect man". I wasn't able to find very much info on her though. A facebook exposure would be very effective. I would copy and paste all his contacts into a WORD doc now for future exposure. Have you read my exposure thread?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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When are you exposing? Did you do a background check on OM?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Woman B was married in late 2010 with her husband filing for divorce in August of 2011. Woman B became facebook friends with the OB in 2011. I am only guessing, but dues to the sexual innuendos of their facebook posts to each other, I am suspecting that he had something to do with the breakup of their marriage.
I have the thought of finding her ex husband and asking him if she had an affair (seems logical due to the fact that he was the one that filed) and if so was it with the OB. And then if I'm correct, I could use that in my exposure too. But, I don't know if that would be right or not because it could just drudge up bad memories for him. What do you all think??? So I found woman B's ex husband on facebook and his cell number (on his FB page) Now if I call him he may just hang up on me and if I message him on FB it'll go into his "other" mailbox. Any suggestions on which way to go??? Also, I have no idea what to say to the guy. Any suggestions on what to say and how to go about saying it to him???
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I would not do anything with that now. Rather, I would focus on getting your evidence and exposing the affair. When you do expose on facebook, you will need to pay the $1 to get it sent to their inbox.
Have you been snooping? Any evidence yet?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm going to go buy a VAR today or tomorrow and then install everything as soon as I can get my wife's car to myself.
Last edited by samdew9; 08/22/13 09:45 AM.
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I will be getting a burner phone as well to call some numbers that have shown up on the phone bill. Which brings up another thing. I have been going through her phone call log the last couple of months and have about 3 or 4 strange number. I went into it a couple of days ago and found out that I can see all of the numbers history on the account (we share an account with my parents) except for hers, which has disappeared.
She is not authorized to make any changes on the account at all. Only my Dad is. But she works in a large retail store that sells our carriers plans. So my guess is since she has access to the inner workings and the reps, she went in and somehow hid her call history.
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Why not have your dad call and get the history?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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And you may as well let your Dad know that you suspect she is having an affair. Get some allies...
Get your snooping done NOW Sam. NOW.
No more delays.
And be cool. No explosions. No Anger.
Be strategic.
We will help you end this affair. But you have to follow the path. No confrontation until we help you.
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Why not have your dad call and get the history? In addition to this. Since you have three to four strange numbers, have you tried looking then up? See who they are registered to?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I've tried, but nothing comes up.
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I'm just going to get a burner phone or use an internet dialer to call them.
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Sam,
I'm new to MB. Some really great folks are helping me out with my recovery. I made a decision not to respond to other posts until I was on better footing, but I can�t pass your story up. It is almost exactly my story down to eerie detail (my WS didn�t wear her wedding ring because it would irritate her skin). And yes, my wife WAS having an affair. If I had caught it early enough, it wouldn't have gotten far, and definitely not physical. The signs were there, I just didn't look in the right places.
Take the advice you are given. All I can say is to prepare yourself for the ultimate truth when it comes (it will). I messed up that part pretty big and am now just getting back on the MB track. Again, I'm not the person to give advice now, just wanted you to avoid my lack of preparation.
Me: BH, 36 Military Officer
FWS: 36, repeat offender
Married: Valentine's Day 1998
DD-15/ DS-10
Almost recovered and ahead of schedule
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Thanks Monkey. What methods of snooping did you use???
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