My name is Jenny, I discovered my husbands affair 17 days ago. This is my story.

I am a young (31) physician, my husband (35) is also a physician, we work at the same hospital, but are on opposite shifts, we did this so that one of us would be able to be at home with our 3 month old twins.

August 10/13 was my shift to work, so my husband was at home, I finished probably about 30 min earlier than usual and headed home - so happy to have a tiny but of extra time with my husband. When I pulled up the lights were out (unusual, because normally he leaves at least one on for me) I figure him and the twins were sleeping. When I came inside the light above the stove was on, I walked upstairs and the babies door was closed and our bedroom door was closed, but you could see the nightlight on from under the door, I opened it and my husband was in mid act with another woman - an X-ray tech from our hospital. I didn't say anything just stared, they both jumped up and scrambled for clothes. I asked where the twins were, he said sleeping, I just remember back out and going down the hall to my daughters room, when I went in Rachel was on her back, just starting to wake, but Rebecca was on her stomach, I touched her and she was stiff, I starte screaming and screaming - they both came running in, he started doing CPR, but I knew in my heart she was gone.

So in 17 days, I discovered my husband in an active affair, and my daughter is dead. The grief is over powering, I can't eat or sleep but I don't want to be awake.

Welcome to MB, Jennyboo. I am so sorry to hear of your daughter's death, and horrified to hear of the circumstances.

What has happened in your marriage since that night? Has the hospital management been informed of the affair? What has been their response?

What do you and your H plan to do about your marriage? Is either of you interested in saving it? How have you both been dealing with the loss of your daughter under such terrible circumstances?

You and your H need to resign those jobs at the hospital and move far away from that area. You can't recover from this double loss if you stay there.

Oh, Jenny. I am SO sorry for the loss of your child. Your head must be spinning.

What can we do to help you?

Oh my dear God. I am so very sorry, Jenny. Can your doctor give you anti-depressants? I promise that you will live through this. While it doesn't feel like it today, your life will not always be filled with grief. I have also lived through the death of my own child and the affair and subsequent divorce from my X-husband, all within a few months. I know the surreal feelings you are experiencing. Just know it won't always be like this. You can live through this.

I'm so, so sorry Jenny for your loss. We are here for you.

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Jennyboo,

So sorry for your loss of your child. Was SIDS the diagnosis? Are you wondering about whether she was placed in the supine position?

Working separate shifts is bad news in a marriage. Now you know. Most of us did not know before being betrayed and coming to this website and learning about the various concepts here.

Please read this link
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1659680#Post1659680

It will give you direction for what surviving infidelity entails

and

I do hope you are getting a lot of support for the loss of your child.

I am so sorry for you loss.

O my, of course this is overwhelming!

Let us help heal you, you came to a marriage site, so it looks like you want to work on the marriage. On the other hand, if you don't, we can also help you with personal recovery!

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}