Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 40 of 40 1 2 38 39 40
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066
Originally Posted by mrEureka
RNR - Please listen to the third segment of today's radio program. Dr. Harley had a number of general comments about the rights of BSs and JC that you really should hear.

mrE- was that today's program or rebroadcast from yesterday's?

Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,433
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,433
Originally Posted by Rocketqueen
Originally Posted by mrEureka
RNR - Please listen to the third segment of today's radio program. Dr. Harley had a number of general comments about the rights of BSs and JC that you really should hear.

mrE- was that today's program or rebroadcast from yesterday's?
The one that was live at 12:00 CDT today, and will now be rebroadcast until tomorrow.


me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by RNR2013
Don't get me wrong, I am committed to recovery, my staying is proof of this. I am also committed to MB principles but when my intentions are doubted that poses a problem for me. I want nothing more in this world than to save this marriage and make it great but I'm exhausted. I am not seeing anything tangible yet, I will say I do find myself seeming to be more trusting in my wife over the last few weeks. As for the anger management courses I don't know what to tell you other than there must be a lot of angry people in Alberta because every place I call is booked right into three months from now. I looked at some online courses but there are no more credit cards and I would prefer to be in a class setting when doing something like that.

What work have you done with Dr. Harley's anger management material?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by RNR2013
so my only job now is for me to allow her to show me this is not all smoke and mirrors and to help build the marriage again.

I'm sorry, that's simply not how it works. If you start recovery with the mindset that most of the work is your wife's, you might as well end your marriage, because it is not going to work that way. Both of you need to fix whichever problems you yourself are the cause of. You both need to do a lot of work to learn to eliminate love busters and learn to negotiate or your marriage is going to fail.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
Quote
I have nothing to prove, how about we take that route here instead of me being painted as the person who put me in this place?
...
People need to get of this holier than thou attitude against me and understand that I never left, I was the one who stayed therefore I have already proven willingness to stay in this marriage
You do need to prove that you are willing to do what it takes to win your wife and build a good marriage with her. The fact that you stayed is NOT proof of that. You have done plenty to contribute to the state of your marriage, and you are going to have to actively prove that you are willing to change, that you are willing to protect her, and that you are willing to care for her.

Quote
I am also committed to MB principles but when my intentions are doubted that poses a problem for me
...
I am not seeing anything tangible yet
You have trouble with your intentions being doubted, and yet you go on to doubt the intentions of your wife ...

Why not stop the judging of intentions and start following the program? Assume good faith on the part of your wife, and work together (that means doing YOUR part) instead of sitting in judgement of your wife.


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4
RNR,

Did you see markos and Prisca's posts to you?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,433
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,433
How are things going? Is your recovery progressing after your move?


me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 201
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 201
Things are going pretty good. My wife sometimes seems off and that makes me wonder every now and then. I'm still working through a lot in my head but other then that things are good with me. I feel much better since I came home and I have come to realize that money is great but there are better things in life.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by RNR2013
Things are going pretty good. My wife sometimes seems off and that makes me wonder every now and then. I'm still working through a lot in my head but other then that things are good with me. I feel much better since I came home and I have come to realize that money is great but there are better things in life.

yippee!!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
Great to hear smile
How's the anger management going?


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by Rocketqueen
Originally Posted by mrEureka
RNR - Please listen to the third segment of today's radio program. Dr. Harley had a number of general comments about the rights of BSs and JC that you really should hear.

mrE- was that today's program or rebroadcast from yesterday's?
Here's the clip.
Radio Clip on Just Compensation


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066
Has anyone told you how awesome you are, brainy girl?

smile

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by Rocketqueen
Has anyone told you how awesome you are, brainy girl?

smile
Awww, thanks blush


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: May 2013
Posts: 329
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 329
Originally Posted by Rocketqueen
Has anyone told you how awesome you are, brainy girl?

smile

I second that - thanks for all your help Brain!!


FWW, 36

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,439
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by mrs_cen
Originally Posted by Rocketqueen
Has anyone told you how awesome you are, brainy girl?

smile

I second that - thanks for all your help Brain!!
You're welcome, friend.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,536
Likes: 9
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,536
Likes: 9
How are things, RNR?


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
What's going on?

Page 40 of 40 1 2 38 39 40

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 612 guests, and 61 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5