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Did this person say it to you or WW? She emailed it to me. Like Mel said, just thank her for her opinion and move on. There are alot of ignorant people out there and don't let it get to you.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Sheeyah I hope you have support of MIL but please keep in mind many ILS whilst they appear to support your M often find it difficult to stand against the A or show support for the M. Until your MIL's actions match her words be careful of what you confide in her, by all means be honest about the A, allow WW to feel the consequences, but be careful of any information you may share.
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Joined: Sep 2013
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OP
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 21 |
I told WW about filing for divorce tonight. I told her why I did it, but that my feelings haven't changed. She didn't say much.
So I guess we'll see where it goes from here.
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I told WW about filing for divorce tonight. I told her why I did it, but that my feelings haven't changed. She didn't say much.
So I guess we'll see where it goes from here. When are you filing?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 21
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 21 |
My attorney had already filed last Wednesday afternoon.
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WW was served divorce papers today, and that got us to talk. She was threatened with having to move out and not see her son very much. It was a very long, heart-wrenching talk. In the end, I agreed to ask my lawyer to have the part restraining her from living here modified if WW agreed to go to counseling. As long as we were both completely honest about everything, that is.
I know there is no guarantee that our marriage will be saved, but it is the best thing I could have hoped for at this point.
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My wife was served divorce papers today, and that got us to talk. She was threatened with having to move out and not see her son very much. It was a very long, heart-wrenching talk. In the end, I agreed to ask my lawyer to have the part restraining her from living here if she agreed to go to counseling.
I know there is no guarantee that our marriage will be saved, but it is the best thing I could have hoped for at this point. So has she agreed to end her affair? Is that why you've agreed to this? Are you counseling with the Harleys? You're pretty much sunk without this agreement from your wife - you know that, right? Do you understand that waywards will play you like a fiddle in order to get what they want?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Agreeing to what counseling? Individual for her (bad idea). Marital with a counselor in your local (bad idea).
Paying for MB phone counseling might work or following MB steps without variation might work.
You are letting your impulses and emotions run your show. You need to plan clearly and precisely here to get any where good.
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Sheeyah,
Ya gave in and caved, you show weakness at the very point you needed to remain strong.
Giving in allows her time to formulate other plans.
She just learned that she can manipulate you easily.
Did she agree to end affair, no contact letter, etc?
You are like so many that come here(including me), thinking the wayward is the person they knew once. SHE IS NOT.
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My XH did this EXACT thing the morning of our divorce hearing to finalize our settlement agreement. I told my XH fine and called my lawyer. That very same afternoon he purchased an airline ticket to move permanently to his country of origin which was also the country where OW lived. I discovered it the next day and was in court the following day.
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Sheyah now is the PERFECT time to get Steve Harley on the phone.
He will tell you what to say to your wife to get her on the call. He's very persuasive with reluctant waywards.
If she's living with you, you can Plan A her more effectively but you need to try and get her locked into MB conditions.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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So I woke up this morning to an email from the OM. He was pissed off because I exposed the affair, threatened a lawsuit for slander and defamation of character, and insulted me for not being a real man and confronting him face-to-face. He also said I can't abuse him like I do my wife (so either he's making stuff up or my wife has lied to him.). He said he would talk to me about things at any time.
How do I respond to this? What do I do with this information? It ain't slander if it is true. At this point, I would not talk to OM. Keep your temper. Protect your money. Spend time with your son and document how much time you spend with him and the activities, and how much time she does.
Last edited by wannabophim; 09/26/13 12:42 PM.
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Agreeing with wannabophim. Document everything you do and everything your WW does, and you have a better chance of getting custody.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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