Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 2 1 2
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 209
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 209
Originally Posted by Doormat_No_More
I still work too much. Fifty hour work weeks are pretty much the norm. So while we get our time together alone as a married couple, and spend plenty of time with the kids, there just isn't much "me" time anymore. By and large, I take the approach that the extra time worked leads to higher-quality/more-expensive personal time (the 20 hours a week or so you'll ostensibly have after spending 15 hours with the kids, 15 hours with the spouse, etc.), but I just don't get much. On the plus side I now work VERY close to home, so my commute is something like 9 minutes each way, and two days a week I work from home. The little time I do get to myself, I tend to do housework, play computer games, or watch TV with my wife, usually multi-screening when we do that as it's not UA time anyway. It's fun to gossip about the latest developments on "Castle" or "Master Chef" on our dates, so there's some small value there I suppose!
So how�s that working out for you?

I ask because my W is working 50 hours a week (when you add in the commute) and like you, we still manage to get in more than enough UA time. But once we add in the family responsibilities, there really is no time for me. (e.g. I haven�t watched a single football game this fall or touched my video games).

As of today, I don�t miss it one bit. I�m really enjoying my time with the W and kids. But I wonder if I�m going to think the same thing this time next year.

Did your lack of �me time� ever start to seem like sacrifice?


Me: BH, 36 Military Officer
FWS: 36, repeat offender
Married: Valentine's Day 1998
DD-15/ DS-10
Almost recovered and ahead of schedule
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,738
D
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,738
Done this exercise before, but it's always useful!

168 hours in a week.
56 hours of sleeping. 112 hours left.
40 hours of working. 72 hours left.
21 hours eating/prepping food/pooping/showering/commuting/etc. (this is a bit of a slush area, you can make it more efficient) 51 hours left.
15 hours UA time. 36 hours left.
15 hours family time. 21 hours left.

That's twenty-one hours for EVERYTHING else if you work outside the home. Ten of those spent working means I have about eleven hours a week to do "everything else"; that includes chores around the house among other things. To make it work, part of what I sacrifice is in that twenty-one hours of "stuff". I don't tend to take lunch breaks (I just snack then eat a full meal with the family when I get home). The only meal I typically help prepare is breakfast and family dinner on Sunday. My chore load is lighter than the rest of the family, though I still try to spend about an hour a day working on various projects or cleaning around the house.

Originally Posted by MindMonkey
Did your lack of �me time� ever start to seem like sacrifice?

Not particularly. What I end up sacrificing mostly is stuff from the 21 hours of slush area, and most of it I don't really miss. My commute is short or non-existent depending on the day. I cook breakfasts with my wife and a meal on Sunday; my wife & kids take care of the rest. I don't linger in the shower or take very long with my morning constitutional smile My coffee is instant, and "projects" around the house go un-finished for a very long time unless someone else volunteers to help so it becomes family time. I don't personally require 8 hours of sleep; if I get more than 7 in a night, I start waking up for an hour around 2AM pretty regularly. That's about it, really.

Last edited by Doormat_No_More; 11/14/13 10:23 AM.

Doormat_No_More
(Formerly Barnboy)
Original thread lost in the forum purge of '09.
4 months after D-Day
1 year after D-Day
Two Years Later
Four Years Later
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 761 guests, and 62 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,839 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5