Sir, you are doing great...but the ultimate challenge would be to add another woman into the date life....and try to be with all three in one night (ie. at the restaurant with Amy, while excusing yourself to go to the bar with Susan...while texting #3)......

Great idea, thank you! I sent that suggestion along with three others: bowling/billiards, museum date (there are a ton of great museums here) and the most adventurous: snow tubing at the local ski resort about 30 minutes outside of town. All "let's get out of the standard restaurant and DO something" dates!

Ha! I've heard of/seen people doing things like like that and don't think I could pull it off. Too stressful, it'd probably send me into a panic attack!

Dating multiple people at the same time is new for me; normally I would have not gone on that date with AMY because I had been out with SUSAN twice and wanted to keep seeing her. By now I would have retired my online dating accounts and told SUSAN I wasn't going to see anyone else so I could see how things went with her. But... I told myself I wasn't going to do that this time. I want to make sure I keep interviewing, making sure that I find the right woman for me. I hope I'm doing the right thing!

Well, I certainly wouldn't say that you're doing the wrong thing!

The important thing is to not mix up their stories or anything like that or call them by the others name.

Alright ladies and gents, I have officially been friend zoned by SUSAN. She took me out to a nice Indian restaurant last night and we generally had a good time. I steered conversation away from her work since that topic has been dominating our time together lately. We drove back to her place, she invited me up and then we had "the conversation." I'm kind of sad about it honestly; as much as I have been preaching the mantra that I have to not settle for one person early and find the right girl, I really enjoyed the time we spent together. She has many of the qualities that I'm looking for and I definitely could have pictured exclusivity in our future.

Unfortunately she stated that her work has her too busy; she has many things going on beyond work that she didn't want to get into as well. Possibly a ex or family issues... who knows. Either way, she doesn't want anything serious at this time and didn't want to lead me on. I appreciate the consideration and we will likely continue to see each other casually from time to time. She does want to hang out on occasion and I'm down for that... eventually.

Pretty bummed about it though.

In the AMY front, she initiated a text conversation with me last night and we chatted for a good hour before going to bed. She chose the ice skating date (thanks SusieQ!) and we're on for that this Saturday afternoon. So yeah, I'm pretty excited about that and I'm optimistic regarding the level of between date communications. AMY wants to chat which is nice because I do as well. Not being chatty with SUSAN between dates was tough for me; I'm pretty social!

In other dating news, I tried out a new dating app called Tinder. This is interesting because it's very visceral; you select that you're interested or not in a person almost entirely by their pictures. It's very fast and is supposed to mimic natural reactions when you meet someone (ie. not having a wealth of info in a profile when you meet a guy or girl on the street). If you both are interested, then you're allowed to communicate. So far I've chatted briefly with two women:

BERNADETTE - I recognize her from OKCupid. I believe I messaged her before with no results however on Tinder she messaged me first. Interesting. She's cute and eight years younger than I am but beyond that, I have nothing else to go off of. We chatted for a few minutes and then I was off to my date with SUSAN. We agreed to chat later when we're both not busy.

DANA - DANA also messaged me first after mutually liking each other. She quickly moved into asking for sex within a few messages so I blocked her. Not what I'm interested in (casually anyway). Next.

Anyway, that's it for now. I might send out a new round of e-mails on OKCupid and Match today. I might not. My 10 year old has his spelling bee this morning so I will be getting ready for that shortly. Wish him luck!

Bummer about Susan! But Amy initiating texts = a good sign.

I've always been under the impression that Tinder is for hook-ups, not real dating - doesn't it only math you up with people within a certain mile radius?

Have you tried POF?

Hey JM385. I'm not sure honestly. I guess time will tell but I think different sites get that label depending on where you are. For instance in the St Louis area, POF is the primary hookup site. I don't know the reputation of Tinder here though. I just read an article on it and it's apparently quite hot in the UK as a legit dating app. Most of the women it shoes me are within a 50 mile radius, yes.

How interesting that it's so different up here in Chicago. I know more people who have found a long-term relationship on POF (myself included) than any other site.

Well you're having fun and you've got great stories to tell, so either way you're winning!

Sorry to hear about Susan. Her loss. Next!

Great! Now you can make it even more cute and hold hands while you skate...

I looked up this app and saw that you need FB to log in and that this helps to cut down on catfishers, etc. Now, can the person you chat with see your FB info?

I'll have to give this a whirl if I manage to stay on my feet long enough to do so... I don't want to drag the poor girl down! In regard to Tinder, yes it does use your FB profile but it doesn't import anything other than the pictures you tell it to from your albums. It doesn't post to FB for you, they can't see any of your FB posts, etc. Just the pics you specify and the small blurb you write.

YES...These apps are always the back doors into it!! Remember folks apps are basically keyloggers and spyware. You agree to give the app permission to run your phone/tablet for you, and store/house all its activity at a secondary server location.

Facebook is evil. (I'm pretty sure that is what HSH was getting at.)

They more or less track everything you do, and the more sites they hook into, the more they can track.

Any time you have a company with that kind of money/revenue, they must have a product they are selling. In the case of facebook, with the free accounts, that product is you!

ak

I promised myself no more of this texting/chatting/emailing stuff for at least a month or two. I was just going to "check it out" Now I have wasted about an hour. What did I get myself into!!!

You can blame it on me, it's all my fault.

It's OK, I should be thanking you. I have a couple dates lined up and chatting with someone that I had noticed on Match, but we never connected there - he was the first person to contact me here. Super cute and nice. Let's see.......

HSH, think about giving it a shot when you are ready to date again!

That's really cool! Sometimes a fresh perspective is a good one. :-)

Ok so an update is in order.

AMY and I have a date tomorrow afternoon at 2pm for ice skating. I asked her if she'd like me to pick her up; she does. So I get to be a gentleman!

I started putting myself back out there on Match, OKCupid and Tinder. I talked to several interesting ladies thus far, a few with some promise. I'll start with STEPH. I messaged her and we opened up a dialog pretty quickly. She turned out to be a "stage 5 clinger" for those of you who get the reference. We talked a bit on the app and then when we exchanged numbers, she blew it up, almost literally. I think there was smoke coming out of it from the number of text messages I was getting. She also revealed quite a bit of intimate information about her past that threw up more red flags than a Chinese parade. Not what I'm looking for.

Next is TINA. TINA has a cute face although she hasn't posted any pictures of the rest of her. Regardless, she's engaging, a bit brash, very blunt and entertaining. She's currently on vacation but I have a tentative commitment from her to get a drink with me when she gets back. I'll text her on occasion over the weekend to maintain interest. I'm interested but at this point not highly interested. I really great date with AMY or HELEN (below) could push her off the bubble.

Finally, there's HELEN. Based on her pictures, HELEN is HIGHLY attractive; she's also seven years younger than I am. I texted with her back and forth quite a bit over the last day. She lives close to me, is an engaging conversationalist and is very impressed with my level of family commitment. This could be because she has a 3 year old daughter and just got out of a nasty divorce where her ex husband gave up his parental rights to their child. This divorce was final less than two weeks ago. It's likely too early for her to date anyone but... I don't know that. Her divorce has been going on for a while. I'm scheduled to have a drink with her on Thursday. If nothing else, I wouldn't mind the company and the opportunity to show a pretty lady a reasonably good time. She could probably use it after a bad divorce. Maybe I'm rationalizing because I'm attracted to her and want to take her out. I don't know... Thoughts?

Just go out with her.
She may or may not be as attractive in real life.

That is how you figure it out.

Yes, it may be too soon after her divorce but at least she IS divorced. If not (if she is exaggerating about it being final, you will find that out)

I went out on my first Match date three weeks post-D. I was ready and it was great!!! Helen may not be ready for a relationship but it could still be fun. A drink is an easy meet up so just go and enjoy.

Not sure I'd text someone I haven't met while they are on vacation. I would get annoyed by that.

HELEN is perfect to friend zone ... she'll need about a year to get back on her feet, but don't lose hope.

Friend zone some of these women ... they really help with the contrast effect. The ones that stay friends are good because they have enough maturity to stand on their own two feet and be friends.

I love friend zone guys ... they keep me grounded from the crazies!!!