The program doesn't work without the POUA. If he were in love, I seriously doubt he would be this resistant to the UA time. He sure doesn't hit me as a guy who is in love. He views it as a "sacrifice" because he enjoys almost everything more than being with you.

Again, I am sorry to be so forthright, but you are such a dear person, catwhit, and I hate to see you needlessly struggle. If you will strictly follow this program for a period of time, your husband will be ANXIOUS about spending time with you. He will not view it a sacrifice, but as something he can't get enough of.

catwit!!!

Thanks, Brainy. You are a gem.

Sometimes H and I need a little jump start in our conversation. These questions are part of a noncompetitive game we used to play with children just to get some talk going. The game came with very serious questions and religious questions as well, but they are in storage, so we only have these light-hearted ones, which work perfectly for what we want.

We have them printed out and pull it out every so often. We find a question and then we each answer it.

What do you like to daydream about?
When you are alone and no one can see you or hear you, what do you like to do?
Say something about TV.
Finish the sentence: "The best thing about today is�."
If you could change your age, what age would you rather be?
If you could live anyplace in the world, where would it be?
Tell about a time when you felt proud of yourself.
Where would you like to go on vacation if you could go anyplace in the world?
What do you like to do in your spare time?
Tell about a funny experience.
What is something you can do well?
If you had to move and could take only three things with you, what would you take?
What is your favorite song?
What kind of TV commercial would you like to make?
What kind of trophy would you like to win?
Talk about "goose bumps."
How do you look when you get angry?
What does America mean to you?
If you were a doctor, what ailment would you like to cure?
Name two famous people you would like to have for parents.
What TV or movie star would you like to invite to your birthday party?
Say something about policemen.
Share three things for which you are thankful.
Talk about one of your bad habits.
Describe your best friend.
If someone could give you anything in the world for your birthday, what would you like it to be?
What kind of people are the luckiest people in the world?
What do you like to do when you are alone?
What is your favorite party game?
What color do you think of when you think of happiness?
What kind of job do you want to have in 20 years?
What kind of store would you like to own and operate?
If you could take only 3 people with you on a trip around the world, whom would you take?
What would you do if you wanted to be a friend to someone who could not speak English?
Say something about love.
What would you like to do to become famous?
How would you change the world to make it better if you had enough power?
Say something about ghosts.
Talk about birthdays.
If you became president of the United States, what two things would you do?
If you could have been someone in history, whom would you have been?
Describe a good neighbor.
If someone were to write a book about you, what do you think they would call it?
If you received $5000 as a gift, how would you spend it?
Describe a good sport.
Say something about jokes.
Describe the ideal father.
If you could become invisible, where would you like to go?
What would you do if you had a "magic wand?"
If you were lost in the woods and it got dark, what would you do?
What really turns you off?
What is your favorite sport and why do you like it?
What would you do if you found $1000 in a vacant lot?
In what ways do you act like a child?
How would you describe yourself to someone who does not know you?
What part of a big parade would you like to be?
What is one of your hobbies?
What is your favorite room in your house? Why?
Describe the ideal mother.
What is your favorite food?
Talk about a time when you were very irritated.
Tell about something beautiful.
Tell what makes a happy family.

I am still stunned to see that when he told me this, I had no recollection that it was D-Day anniversary. None. Not even when he said he was wanting to just take care of me that day. Two years ago, I NEVER would have thought that I would be free from triggering so early. Of course, this is not to say I have forgotten about the A. But it no longer runs my life.

Hi Cat! I'm at 2 years past NC myself and also find that the pain is receding, (though I had one doozy of a nightmare last night!) Triggers are easier to deal with and some dates are not as important anymore.

Glad to hear that you two are moving forward.

As far as your romantic love threshold, do you think that you are in a self-protection mode and have put up an emotional wall? I wonder about this for myself and have thought of writing Dr Harley about it.