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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
SHE IS SO ANGRY ITS CRAZY! I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS. ITS LIKE SHE IS POSSESSED! SHE ALSO SAID SHE ISN'T HAVING AN AFFAIR. SHE KEEPS TELLING ME THER IS NEVER GOING TO BE A CHANCE FOR US ITS OVER, SHE, IS EVEN MORE ANGRIER THAN WHEN MY FAMILY FOUND OUT. SORRY FOR THE CAPS, I'M NOT YELLING.

Yep!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Yes I'm friends with on facebook, she just turned it back on because I think she thought I put a general post up, I didn't, I IM everyone.

Did you IM her facebook friends too?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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When you get home, it is very important that you remain calm and not allow her to ruffle you or bait you into a fight. Just calmly tell her that you are sure sorry she is upset but you felt like everyone should know.

And whatever you do, DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR EXPOSURE. If you do that, you are doomed you will be validating her FOG. Her anger over exposure is the result of the fog. Her anger will dissipate IF YOU DON'T VALIDATE HER ANGER.

Do you understand what I mean?

And most of all, do not let her anger upset you. It was expected. The angrier, the better! laugh


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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They always say it's not an affair, vainly wishing that their words could turn a lie into the truth.

My wife told me for months after exposure, "Everybody thinks I'm the worst person of 2011 and you're a saint." She was livid for a very long time. Very angry. Bitter. Spiteful. But guess what? It doesn't last if you are able to kill the affair. Once it crumbles and fog lifts, the anger will subside. Nice job with exposure, buddy.

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Yes I IM her friends and her grandmother in GA, etc..


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I don't think she will be home when I get there. My brother said she left, but she might be back, I won't know until about 1 am when I get home.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I'M EXHAUSTED!


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
I'M EXHAUSTED!


You did just great!! hug

You are a hero tonight and even though it doesn't feel like it right now, you have done more today to kill the affair than anything. That means you have taken a step closer to saving your marriage.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Thank you, for giving me the courage. I know I'm a Police Officer, but I'm still human.. Thanks to everyone and there support.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I won't be able to tell my step son, he went to his Dad's, My wife was suppose to get my daughter tomorrow from school, b/c I have to work. She told me in all the kaos that I would have to find someone else to pick her up...


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Is the daughter yours from another marriage? How old is she?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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ARe you prepared to be perfectly calm in the face of a storm when you go home tonight? No fighting, no justifying, no apologizing, just a firm, unapologetic resolve. Ask her to end all contact for life with the OM.

* don't leave your home or even your own bedroom - you have done nothing wrong and have no reason to leave

* turn on the recorder on your phone in case she trumps up an "abuse" charge against you


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
She told me I'm trying to humiliate her and trying to get her family and friends against her, she said she doesn't need any of her family, she keeps telling me there will never be achance with us, I lost her for ever and I'm trying to control her. She keeps telling me not to come home and to get out of the house etc.. she's going to call he attorney there is somthing he can do etc... I just told her I did this to save our marriage and she said do you think this is going to save our marriage she asked me it 20 times. Do I keep answering her calls, I need a break.

she took step son to his dads

You should really just be like a parrot "I am willing to work with you to create a loving marriage but you must first end your affair"

(our definition of ending the affair is agreeing to No contact for the rest of her life and following a program of recovery)

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My step son is 14, my daughter is 11, she is from my ex-wife. I came home and the wife isn't home. I will not apologize for exposure, I will continue to be calm during te storm. I have been calm since 2/13/14 when she announced she filed and when I stummbled into the affair. I will continue to listen to good people.

I can tell you this, She told me, she could kill me, thats how angry she was. I'll have to sleep with one eye open.

Not sure where she is, Maybe Other Mans, Mothers, Girl friends or hotel, she took her blow dryer and tooth brush. not sure what else.


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I got a message back from a cousin of hers that said, I appeared petty and controling and feared for my W safety. She said she will support Wifes decision and not to contact her in the future. I'm sure I will get them.. I sure hope I didn't blow this...


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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By the way that cousin who said i was petty and controling is an attorney, no offense to any attorney's on here, but you know how they have no morals or values at times... I just hope this works...God its killing me. How the heck does this make me controlling, I can't make her do anything, it makes know sense. Like using gps on our phones, how does that control a person, it doesn't have powers over you. if you're not doing anything wrong and being honest who cares.

I just hope she is ok, im worried about her. I'm worried about her emotional state.

So if I exposed my wife for using drugs would that be controlling and petty etc...

Just have a knotted feeling in my stomach..


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
How the heck does this make me controlling, I can't make her do anything, it makes know sense. .

So if I exposed my wife for using drugs would that be controlling and petty etc...
..


I had about two or three negative exposure responses. Dozens of shocked and supportive ones. Which is not bad when you consider around 30 pc of married people have had their own affair. Most people are shocked and concerned about adultery. Especially if it is a loved relative.

Of my negative responses, I later discovered they'd all had unexposed affairs.

I'll eat my hat if this woman hasn't had her own affair. 'Controlling' is practically a WW catch-phrase.

Unfortanately BH's have to put up with a great deal of sexism. Women who expose aren't called controlling. But it's an easy slur to throw at a man.

She'd rather drag her cousin into the pit with her for company than dig her own way out. Disgusting.



What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Her Father, just told me airing out your problem On FB isn't going to help, And he doesn't believe W is having an affair, she may have a special friend who is consoling her, he has a friend like this. if it was just a special friend then why would you get so mad like this? She is trying to convince people of this.

Other man ex-wife sent me a message with her phone number asking me to call her.

I did a checkmate kit and she tested positive for semen in her underware, and I wasn't having sex with her???


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Do I respond to her Father at all, what now. I guess blood is thicker than water... special friend really and you go nuts like this...


ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14

Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Originally Posted by wifedivorcing
Her Father, just told me airing out your problem On FB isn't going to help, And he doesn't believe W is having an affair, she may have a special friend who is consoling her, he has a friend like this. if it was just a special friend then why would you get so mad like this? She is trying to convince people of this.

Other man ex-wife sent me a message with her phone number asking me to call her.

I did a checkmate kit and she tested positive for semen in her underware, and I wasn't having sex with her???

Good job! I hope you tell her father that you have hard evidence that she is having sex with the OM. Glad you used the checkmate kit.

And don't be concerned about the naysayers. You find out very quickly who your friends are in situations like this.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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