Wife also said, if she was home she would of assaulted me and she didn't want to go to jail...Did I piss her off that bad???

Awesome! And I would ask your attorney to drag things out as long as possible. The worst thing you can do is cooperate with the divorce. Her anger and her affair won't last long so your goal is to outlast her affair.

I would just be as pleasant as possible like we discussed earlier. You are doing just great!

You interfered in her affair in a HUGE WAY!!

She asked me where daughter was at, she went fishingh with her cousins, She said ok. She then told me that step son has tutoring at 5pm and when daughter was coming home b/c she can go with them when I'm at work. She then asked, do you want her around me. I said I have no problem with her being around her...

I already told my attorney to drag it out, she said she could try to get another 60 days..

When I first got home she was doing laundry, I'm sure she was washing the underware first...

So should I just let her sleep, should I give he hug, I feel like I don't know what to do...

She defiently looked exhausted. I feel bad for her. why do I feel bad for her..

I'm going to switch over to my phone, I don't want her finding my war plan... How do I tell son about this, when he won't even look my way, I said hi to him and he like was shut down, I asked how he was doing, he mummbled ok, He just isn't to happy to see me...

Sorry my mind is racing, I have to slow it down, breathe in and out slowly....

Well, you and step son were never close, and she sees her mom now raging over exposure. He's only heard her side, and since he never liked you, it's no surprise he's siding with her.

The truth is, you have to Plan A your son also. And if he is going to be in the house with you for awhile, go back and read the link that BrainHurts dropped early in this thread. The blended family situation is tough, but Dr. Harley gives a protocol that will help you with it.

Find some time while she is asleep to sit down next to him & explain. Tell him you know he is aware of bits & pieces of the problems between you & his mom but there is more to it. Explain that you love him & his mother and would never deliberately do anything harmful to them. His mother is having an affair and you desperately want to save the marriage. Tell him you'd like his support to save your family but, regardless how this ends up, you will always be there for him.

Ask him if he has any questions...

Step son is a tough one and I love him a lot. I have trying to figure out his love languages, to see how he wants to be loved. He 14 and he's got a lot of his own puberty issues going on. I 'll look for the link I do remember it...

You mentioned thee things that got in the way of your marriage: 1) drinking 2) swing shift, 3) step son.

You've addressed the first two very effectively, and your wife is definitely taking note. Now for #3.

It's complicated because right now the issues that made it hard can't be worked on completely since you and wife are not operating as a couple. Seems the best you can do is show your step son respect, let him know that you love his mom and him more than anything. He may not understand everything that is going on, but kids have an innate sense of security and stability. Deep down, they want it, though that desire is subconscious. His mom's gallivanting does not provide a secure and stable situation for the son.

When you have a chance, let him know that are making changes that will make for a happy home life, and that you want for both him and Mom to be happy.

And don't apologize to him for exposing the affair, and STOP apologizing to your wife. You are doing everything right, and nothing wrong in exposure.


This takes time, WD. Trust in the plan and give it a lot of time.

You might try asking him,, ya know, POJA him.
14 is a tough age!!

I told her I was sorry she is angry. Do I continue with saying things like your affair tore my heart out.. and to stop having the affair.. I'm not going to apologize for exposing and I haven't apologized for exposing it..

I want to crawl into bed with the wife and cuddle her. I'm exhausted myself.

I looked in the garbage and I seen a plastic bag labled laundry the kind you get from a hotel. I think she pawned the ring her grandmother gave her, it's missing maybe to Pay hotel bill.

my wife is up so I asked her after tutoring with son, what she would like for dinner and she said they will be ok. thank you though. I said well I would like them to have some dinner with me and daughter when they get back and I will wait for them. She replied, I don't care what you want right now in a firm voice. We will be fine and go with out us. I just replied ok. She is seperating the kids...

Can you make a nice big dinner and then invite them to come eat when its done?

I can, they won't be home until 630pm From tutoring.