Can you cook?

I called her hon, and she said don't call me hon. boy is she going to attack everything thing.

I use to do all the cooking, before I went to afternoons. I'm the chef of this house.

She is coming back down to earth. Just hang in there. You just need to focus on 2 areas:

1. busting up her affair. Go pay loserboy a visit tomorrow and post his picture and story on cheaterville

2. being as kind as possible without showing any kind of desperation. No fighting, no accusing.

Nice! Cook something you know she loves. And when its done, cheerfully walk out and tell them there is plenty of food if they are hungry. Then go back in the kitchen and eat with your daughter.

And be sure and clean up the kitchen afterwards. [wipe down the counters too]

I'm good with those two things. I'm going to cook dinner if they choose to eat or not. I'll be ok with it.

That is perfect!

So she is getting ready to take son to tutoring , she's always running late. I tell her what time it is so she kicks into gear, she s says let's go to son and states I have to stop at bank to get money for tutoring. I gave her a 100.00 bill I said take this for him. She replied I'm going to take money from you after what you did in a low voice. I let that roll right off my back. I said I love him and I care about him take for his tutoring and what ever else you need. She replied so you get to be the martyr. I set the money on the dresser and went to the grocery store. I came back and the money was gone. I just let it roll right of my back again. See she has complained a little bit about me making more money and I have no problem helping step son..

Very good!! You handled that beautifully...

Nothing to add but your doing awesome. Plan A is a steady, slow, deliberate process. Just keep in mind you won't get any credit or positive reinforcement from your WW. That doesn't mean she won't remember it. Your also getting some good advice and not as stubborn as most people who come here. God bless and I'll pray for your success.

I'm cooking one of her favorite middle eastern dishes. Chicken shawarma. She loves it. I will even do a garlic lemon yogart sauce.

Right on!!!

yum!

Ok, WD,I'll bite. Excuse the pun.

Shawwarma, a meal for superheros.

Sounds like a good plan, Iron Man!

sounds great, don't be discouraged if she doesn't eat it with you, she will and she will notice the effort and love put into it for her ��.
I did this for a few weeks in the beginning making the house a home and not worrying about his response I did it set a nice table and if he didn't come home or out of his spare room at the time I ate, enjoyed a glass of wine and then cleaned up packed up the food and he would eventually come out and eat it and even comment on the taste and effort ��
I would also watch a movie especially ones he would be interested in and invite him if he showed to watch it he did if not I continued the evening as planned�.he eventually came out and we would talk small talk at first then with each movie each meal it got better ���can you pack her a lunch for work?
I would try to speak to your step son, he might see it differently then you think he might be a help for you to keep his family together���who knows, since your turning everything around for the better maybe you can work on that relationship as well��..just a thought��it sounds like she is calming down she isn't screaming anymore, hehe!!!! Try to be happy even if you don't feel it around her ��.I remember when I was going through it If one little thing happened that was nice or positive it was enough each day to try again the next day and so on and so on, it will take some time����.

Nice comments, Jessi.

WD, if you need some inspiration regarding Plan A, watch the movie Fireproof. The situation is a little different, but the main character's perseverance and dedication to the task is very inspiring. Check it out!

Hopefully she will, but my WH did not.



Isn't that right!!

my wife and I watched that movie fireproof 3 yrs ago. I 'm not sure what happen since then. I'm sitting her just thinking how I missed this entire affair. I didn't really know anything until she filed. All the clues I missed, I don't really know how long it has been going on...it is just mind boggling to me...I will take everyone's advice. thanks. I will keep posting for sure.

I have learned not to be stubborn. One of my changes I did. Stubborn equals selfishness. So I changed that.

WEll, I don't think its cool to recommend a program [Fireproof] on Dr Harleys website that he doesn't advocate. I can't remember what I heard him say about it but I know he didn't agree with it's concepts. [might have been unconditional love? I can't remember]