As she comes out of the fog she will realize how bad the OM is for her. He would not change her tire, cook her dinner or pay for her son's tutoring lesson. He doesn't even see his own son!

Sir, I run (compete, not just jog but actually place at the finish line) half marathon races and am in excellent physical shape.
My wife left me for a bald, fat child abuser convict that smoked, drank and uses dope daily!

FOG = Irrational thinking!

I hope I can run him off too...

Wow unreal. Im sorry Jedi.

Sir , many people can drink a limited amount of alcohol and never have incidents like yours.
However, for some, there is a type of allergy to alcohol that causes bizarre behavior. If you are doing things while drinking and then apologizing then you should treat it as an allergy and never touch it

Jedi, he did stop drinking. That was one of her main complaints so he stopped.

Why do I hang onto every word she says. Is this normal. she's going to the dentist today, to start a crown. She said she has to get it done before she loses her insurance through me... I just said oh ok. Just seems like I'm listenting to good.... We did then have conversation about sons math issue. He's a smart kid. All the kids are having math issues. She showed me it and I can't make sense of it... The tutor who is a math teacher is having problem with it...so we just tell him do your best.

Don't do that. Develop selective hearing. Catch her doing something polite or nice or helpful and respond to that, not the insults. ('you're such a good mother' or saying 'you're welcome' nice and confidently when she gives you a cold thank you) Only respond to what you want to. Treat the rest as jibber jabber.

The maths thing is proving to be a really useful distraction. Can you offer to call up and speak to his teacher? She'll say no, while breathing fire, but the offer of support will register on the level where she is still human.

Indie, I don't let the negative things bother me, it's just how great of a listner I have become. I will ask if I could talk to his teacher. I poured the three of our coffee's this morning. When I handed it to step son he said thank you. My wife and I made the kids lunches together. Son made us all laugh this morning b/c I think he is using my tooth brush, wife asked him and he just said I just use whatever, it was funny, had to be there. Son poured the rest of the coffee in a travel mug this morning and the wife wanted some to go, so I poured the rest of mine and what was left in the pot in a travel mug for her. She said you didn't have to do that , I said it's no problem. We both then left to get these kids to school...

You are doing just a super great job at Plan A! All of these little things demonstrate how much better you are than the OM. The POSOM would never take care of her son or do the things you are doing. She would lose all that.

Happy that you are back on days.

My wife just told me her attorney sent her a copy of the property settlement proposal and asked if I would like to see it or are you going to wait till your attorney contacts you. I said no thanks and I will just wait for my attorney to contact me. She throws her hands in the air and walks away mumbling something...

That was perfect! No cooperation on the divorce front!

I did ask her if I could talk to his math teacher to see if there is anything I can do to help. She gave me a puzzled kind of dirty look, and said I have been in constant contact with his teacher that's the curriculum and nothing can been done. I said I feel bad for son, he's working hard. Of course her one GF called her wanting her to go to opening day. That's what my wife said. The voice mail was a women. I heard her voice. That GF is the one who cheated on her husband, I work with him. I never liked her, the first time I met her, bad vibe. She is also my wife's supervisor at work...they have been going out a lot together lately. you know wife uses her name a lot...

yuck. You know, when you get into the recovery phase, getting her away from that bad influence will be a condition of recovery. She is not a friend to your marriage. Of course, when the fog wears off, she will not view her as a "friend," but as an enabler.

my friend divorced her, he was devistated, I remember when he told me about it...he didn't want anything to do with her, apparently he found pics emails to a few different me. My wife and I talked about it before and she new how I felt about her. My wifeW would stick up fo her saying ther e are two sides, well yes but you don't cheat. This couple did a lot together, travled, went to sporting events etc... he has leukemia that is in remission. His cancer was active during her cheating and divorce...

A plan A Jedi.

my wife and I are talking and she starts telling me how I told everyone she is a who're, I said I never told anyone that. She said you told them something. I said I felt it was important to tell them about you having an affair. She then said why don't you just stop and own up to why I filed for divorce, b/c I was unhappy and the relationship with my son and nothing else.. I said ok.

She now comes back out asking me what would a restraining order do to my job. You do carry a firearm right. I said yes. That's right. I said I cant stop you from doing anything. She tells me, then you better stop..

She then tells me that all I'm trying to do is make myself look good by dragging my friends and family in this, by making me look bad, because your a selfish [censored]. I simply said I did do this to make myself look loog. I did this b/c I love you and care about you and this family. She then walked away. Boy is she going to do this everyday all day. Some of the things she.says to me I don't answer b/c I don't know what to say... I do have my recorder on..She told me I sent that letter to an attorney friend of hers, yes I know it was one of the negative responses, her female cousin who said I'm controlling and petty and she fears for wife's safety, when her cousins mother died there step dad left them when they 13 or 1$ and he ran off with another women and never looked backed never to talk to.them again..

So do I pay the OM a visit or do I call. The last thing I need is a restraining order. Wife said she has grounds b/c a contacted her work friend. It's her friend who she hangs out with. Now I'm getting threats. I need my pistol for work. You get a restraining order they take your pistol.

and told the truth there is nothing wrong with that
maybe you should get a restraining order so you are protected
tell her is she wants she can tell a judge about the affair then it's up to her.
you would prefer not to do that�.
tell her you will stay a distant physically to protect yourself�..
she will go on everyday she is trying to fight for the affair and she wants it now
just tell her let's leave things up to the lawyers.
I will leave the visit to the Om up to someone more experienced Mel will have the answer��.hang in there don't let her control you and remember she is an alien not your wife, she is trying to strong arm you��.
don't bite

It's obvious she is so worried about what everyone thinks of her...I don't know if I'm doing everything right or not.