Why does she insist that everyone fears for her safety, but you're home in the same house with me the crazy man.

She also said something earlier to me during the wedding vows. She said something like. If it weren't for you I wouldn't be back here??? I was walking out of the bathroom.

Oh goodness me we could fill a whole thread with the nonsense they spout. Oh wait, we have!

During my H's A, he told me: "I only married you because you are pretty" (OW was not! It was such an odd 'insult') Then he also said: "I only married you for legal reasons" Ummm, OK. Don't remember that featuring in the proposal.

Then he said he and OW were just 'very close' friends and if I was a better friend he would probably love me more. But he wanted her to be the type of friend who accompanied him to hotels and me to be the type of friend who did not expose it.

Nutters!

Seems to me she MAY be leaving withdrawal and going back into a state of conflict, which could be good. (Vets, do you agree?) My wife acted in this delirious, incoherent manner when her affair hit rock bottom and she wanted to come home. That was 13 months after DDay.

You have really confused her by standing up for the marriage, and it seems she having difficulty processing it all. Your Plan A work has been effective I think. But this is a marathon. There are no quick fixes with infidelity.

At this point you do not NEED to know. Asking him will just cause the two affair partners to doubt how much you do know. Just my two cents worth, but I would not ask him anything...just listen if he starts talking. Questions will potentially make him think that you are fishing and do not have proof or confirmation.

I don't think the questions are bad as long as he is firm in laying out the business of "Stay away from my wife." More information won't hurt.

WD already has plenty of smoking gun evidence so that is not in question.

Do you have your plan in place for confronting the POSOM?

Get a friend lined up and make sure your VAR is working properly with fully charged batteries.

Did you post him on Cheaterville yet?

Print out a hundred copies and staple them to the telephone poles by his pharmacy and maybe have someone pass them out to customers entering his store.

The bottom line is, you love your Wife and are fighting for your marriage.

Remember those nice dinner and back rub things you did the other night? What else can you think of doing to continuously sustain your Plan A efforts.

Let her know that you love her so much that you will not allow an outsider interfere with your marriage.

Are there any remaining complaints that you found out about that you still need to correct about yourself and how you show appreciation for your Wife?

Work on them continuously.

She is showing some signs of being receptive, but the Affair Addiction will continue to pull at her. It will seem surreal that things you do nice for her will draw out her resentments towards you. Shake it off and continue being the new and improved version of yourself.

Can you take your Stepson out to do something fun and build up your bond with him?

How old is he?

Is there a recreational activity that you possibly can start lining up that your Wife would be enthusiastic about doing together with you?

Keep brainstorming.

LTL

I just drove by the dentist office and she's not there. She said her appointment was at 11am. It's 12:30pm. I have to get a GPS. So here we go. How do I handle this. She has to get son at 3:00pm.

I just called his work and he answered the phone. What is going on.

Was the plan for her to go get son straight from dentists? If so she's likely to be late. Do you think you could pick him up? Perhaps call the school and say due to a family emergency you need to pick him up slightly earlier than usual? Pick him up and tell him what is going on.

If that's not possible I'd just drive past OMs and make a note of her vehicle if it's on view. Then tell her later you know she lied about where she was going. Wear your disappointed face. Tell her you don't find this acceptable behaviour in a wife. Don't explain how you caught her out. Ignore the bluster and flame response.

I'd wait until you have your witness to call round and confront him. With the two of them there, your message is too likely to be engulfed in a conflict if you do it now.

You need a GPS on her car. She may be out drinking or maybe spewing to her enabler friend.

I called his pharmacy and he said his name and I asked for the hours. I drove by his work and I didn't see her car. earlier she said her GF said something about opening day. Wife did leave with a tiger shirt on. Why lie about it. She still has to get son at 3pm. See I have to get my daughter at 3:10pm. opposite sides of town. So getting him won't work. I'm going to get a GPS tomorrow...

I should call the dentist and check on her status.

I'm puzzled. She told me the time the dentist name and the city it's in. Why lie.

Let's see 1 1/2 hours to start the cap. Maybe she was done, by time I got there. I could always call her and find out about more info on dinner.

What you need in terms of spyware:

A keylogger on any computer you can access that she might use.
A spy program on any cell that she might use.
Put a GPS on her car, reporting to your computer.
Put a VAR in her car, and in any room she might use to take "personal" calls
A mini-audio-recorder, and have it in your possession and "on" whenever in her presence.

They all lie, that is all they know. She is so deeply fogged out she has to lie about everything.
It could be a trap to see how close you are watching her, so she can pick a fight or threaten RO again.
For now, ask her how it went. If she needs anything after the dentist, nice and caring.
OR
After you talk to the the dentist and confirm she wasnt there, tell her the dentist called you and wanted to know if she wanted to reschedule. Nothing else, just let her respond and watch the lies spew.

I just called her and she answered, she said she just left the dentist. I asked her how it went she said fine. Her mouth is numb etc... I asked her if there was anything else she needed from the grocery store she said no, I asked what she is up to. She said just hang around the area until time to get son. Funny I'm right down the street from the dentist office. Interesting.

Don't attribute logic to a wayward! Tehir entire purpose is to lie. If their lips are flapping it is a lie.

Without a GPS you are just guessing where she is. She may have gone somewhere to sob for her lost soul for a few hours. she may have offered for OM to meet her somewhere but he has stood her up.

I'd tell her you are disappointed later (don't be drawn on whether or not you know where she went just tell her you know she lied) and proceed with your plan to confront OM and expose to the kids.

That's a very clever idea.

GPS and VAR in her car!!!!

When you start to listen to the VAR recordings, be prepared. You will hear things that will make you sick.