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Check one off for the wayward spouse. I called to make an appointment for cleaning, she noticed my last name and I said oh wife came into today , she said.yes she just left a little while ago. I asked if everything went ok and she said yes. So she did go. She usually will hang around the area b/c we live about 25.miles away from everything. I will confront him tomorrow and regroup. I thought the same thing if this was a trap...
When I talked to wife. She asked me if my attorney called I said no, she said boy she s on top of things. I let it roll off my back.
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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That's another reason for the spyware. It will halt the perfectly reasonable impulse to jump at shadows. You could have been kicking back while she was at the dentist knowing your gadgetry was doing the work. She asked me if my attorney called I said no, she said boy she s on top of things. I let it roll off my back. That's good! You'd swear she'd never heard you say you don't want a divorce!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Wife called me back and said she doesn't like me in a playful voice. She said she might start off nice and then remember I don't like you. I said you don't like me today but tomorrow you might, She said no again in her playful voice. I said something along the lines of how she use to be always smiling. She said in her playful voice no just sour look is all you get. She told me she was at kohls, I heard her going through the clothes rack and an intercom going. She is there. I started talking about son if he needed anything and we began to reflect back when he was a boy. I told he growing up and he's going to be a good man etc. She said I miss that little boy. I said I know I miss them too being little referring to son and daughter. She said she had to go and look for clothes on clearence..
Last edited by wifedivorcing; 03/31/14 12:47 PM.
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I'm going to go get one. I believe she was trying to apologize to me about starting off nice with me and then remembering she's mad at me...
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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We did laugh when she called.me back telling me she was at kohls.
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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We did laugh when she called.me back telling me she was at kohls. She's working you. The key is to pump up her lovebank to make her more malleable, not to let her pump up yours! You have to ignore your feelings and work very logically for now. Don't get sucked in until you've got that NC letter and weeks of NC under your belt. Until then she's an alien!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Be wary.
She may be trying to keep you nice and calm so you'll 'play nice' and call of the dogs...while she plots other ways to keep the A alive.
Ignore those 'feelings' and work the plan!
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I know she is trying to work me, I changed the subject and started talking about step son, more towards him and how I feel about him. Letting her know I do care and love him. B/c I really do. That's why I told her you don't today but you might like me tomorrow. I believe laughter is a good stress relief.
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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You're doing an excellent Plan A.
I can hardly remember a better.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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When I was in your spot, I made the commitment to myself that I was going to handle myself the absolute best way I could each and every day. By doing this, I wasn't going to give her ANY ammo to use against me in any way.
I kept telling myself that in the end, if we didn't work out it would NOT be my fault and would fall solely on her shoulders.
Right now you are being vilified as the bad guy. By always taking the higher ground you will always win.
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If she tries to have SF with me I'm going to tell her I'm not ready for that. I'm going to be the one in control. plus she is going to get tested for std..
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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20year, I tell myself the samething. I will be the best I can be, I pray to God every day. I have know idea how I am being so patient, calm, cool and collective, but then I have faith any I truly believe Jesus himself is carrying me every day. I can only praise, thank and.believe him, regardless of the outcome..
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I am wary of her. I believe nothing at this point. I post so I stay in reality and I get the outsider looking in... I think I will buy her roses , she loves them.
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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I would like to ask OM how long the affair has been going. I need a good way to bluff him into the answer... At this point you do not NEED to know. Asking him will just cause the two affair partners to doubt how much you do know. Just my two cents worth, but I would not ask him anything...just listen if he starts talking. Questions will potentially make him think that you are fishing and do not have proof or confirmation. I don't think the questions are bad as long as he is firm in laying out the business of "Stay away from my wife." More information won't hurt. WD already has plenty of smoking gun evidence so that is not in question. AGree. It is a good idea to fish for information in a subtle manner by getting them talking. Just use your creativity to think of open ended questions. Let on that you know more than you do and get him to confirm things.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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During the bathroom talk I remember she said she has been loyal our whole marriage. I guess what I found out doesn't count. The A just didn't happen after she filed. The A caused her to file. I'm sure of it. it could of been EA for a while and then turned into a PA. I wonder if her father told his current wife he has a special friend he confides in when he is out of town. His job is out mi in another country far away. He's gone probably 3/4 of the year...that's what he IM me on FB.
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Posts: 912
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I planned on doing it like that Mel, thanks.
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Posts: 912
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The DNA kit I left out she destroyed and the Surviving An Affair book she put in my closet, when she came home Sunday. That book must of bothered her.
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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During the bathroom talk I remember she said she has been loyal our whole marriage. I guess what I found out doesn't count. The A just didn't happen after she filed. The A caused her to file. I'm sure of it. it could of been EA for a while and then turned into a PA. I wonder if her father told his current wife he has a special friend he confides in when he is out of town. His job is out mi in another country far away. He's gone probably 3/4 of the year...that's what he IM me on FB. She has re-written history to justify her A. WS 101. If/When you enter R, her memory will 'clear up'. You are doing great. One step at a time. You are doing a great job cleaning up your side of the fence. Right now, that is all you can do. The advice here to not listen to a word she says or take anything literal, is spot on. It really is. Easier said than done though! Stay the course. You are giving yourself a fighting chance. Remember to be kind but strong. Don't let her walk over you in fear of pushing her away. As long as you are avoiding LB's, you will be fine. When I was in the Fight for my M, I didn't realize how hard it was going to accept her back into MY heart. R is a long road my friend.
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20year. Your right about accepting her back. I have already wondered about that, I can see why it can be difficult to accept her back. I come here so I don't screw up. I won't be a doormat. She was pissed last night when she had to sleep on that crappy fouton in the sunromm . She ranted and raved about why does she have to sleep everywhere else other than our bed. I simply told her, that's your choice and she continued with her rant until she fell asleep.
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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Posts: 912
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It is amazing how they rewrite history. According her she should of never married me, everything was wrong, but we married anyways and she told my sister how much she loved me etc..She even told me how much she loved me etc...
ME46
WW 38
D-day 2/13/14
Ephesians 5:11-13
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
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